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Actually I don't think 5 months are long relationships. I know people who have waited even longer to have intimacy.
Yes, he is gay, he has a big argument with his parents about it, they even disowned him for a while. He likes cuddle with me, but when I try something bigger, he doesn't freak, he just calmly tells me he doesn't like that. I've thought that maybe he's just too young for sex, 18 is still very young. I mean, I'm virgin too, but I'm not so nervous about that.
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I think if you take a poll between forum members regarding what age they had their first physical intimacy with the same sex, you may be surprised.
For me it was aged 14.
You need to stop making excuses for him and get to the root cause of his insecurity.
ObW
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OlderButWiser Wrote:I think if you take a poll between forum members regarding what age they had their first physical intimacy with the same sex, you may be surprised.
For me it was aged 14.
You need to stop making excuses for him and get to the root cause of his insecurity.
ObW
X
It's still not very unreasonable for an 18 year old to feel too young for sex. People start feeling ready for sex at vastly different ages. I didn't even consider having sex until 16 and didn't end up going through with it until I was 17 or 18. Some people are ready unusually early, 12-13, around that age and some people don't feel ready until they're in their 20's.
Point is, this problem doesn't necessarily stem from an "excuse".
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Well then I guess I'm some kind of weirdo too, 21 and virgin.
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Anonymous Wrote:Well then I guess I'm some kind of weirdo too, 21 and virgin.
Absolutely not. The stigma around virginity is maintained by idiots. Reasonable people don't care about your virginity regardless of your age.
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Anonymous Wrote:Well then I guess I'm some kind of weirdo too, 21 and virgin.
No one is saying your a weirdo at all.
All I'm trying to point out is that any 18 year old, gay or straight, should be receptive to cuddles, caressing and more intimate touching, especially after 5 months together. He isn't, and there must be an underlying reason for that which you need to try and get to the bottom of.
Does your definition of virgin mean that you have never been intimate, in any way, with another guy?
ObW
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"Does your definition of virgin mean that you have never been intimate, in any way, with another guy?"
Yes, that's right. Before him I had never even kissed.
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Anonymous Wrote:"Does your definition of virgin mean that you have never been intimate, in any way, with another guy?"
Yes, that's right. Before him I had never even kissed.
Are you his first relationship as well? You've stated that he had a falling out with his parents and it was pretty major.. If you are his first relationship is it possible that he's scared to actually confirm that he is gay? Being able to say you are gay and actually confirming it is two completely different major steps.
The advice given is good.. The common thing is talk. Just simply ask him if he is okay, or if there is any issues there. He can be the only one to truly share some light on this subject. Neither of you are weird for still being virgins. Why should everyone lose their virginity at young ages? Whatever happened to people waiting for the right person? I think society has changed from losing it as soon as possible to more people waiting, at least it seems like it is starting to change!
I find it quite sweet in some way that you are each others firsts.. you are both just exploring maybe he is just slightly more scared.
[COLOR="Purple"]As I grow to understand less and less,
I learn to love it more and more. [/COLOR]
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Since everything else is going well, don't force him or yourself. A first time esp.for both of you shouldn't be rushed. If you force it before you're both ready It will be really terrible you'll regret & make a much biggee issue.
I'd say start talking more about what exactly is bothering him. Try to be reassuring & your main goal is to help him feel more comfortable. Point out that you're in the same place as him & you only have as much experience as him.
Maybe talk about trying a few other physical things--I'd say only one thing at a time--for no reason other than to test what is & isn't okay for each of you. Take your time. Your goal is to be more confident, not immediately advancing.
Plus, if you wait til you both feel truly ready it can be as romantic and special and awesome & hot as you want it to be.<3
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OlderButWiser Wrote:No one is saying your a weirdo at all.
All I'm trying to point out is that any 18 year old, gay or straight, should be receptive to cuddles, caressing and more intimate touching, especially after 5 months together. He isn't, and there must be an underlying reason for that which you need to try and get to the bottom of.
Does your definition of virgin mean that you have never been intimate, in any way, with another guy?
ObW
X
Should be?! According to whom?
Maybe the fact that his parents once DISOWNED him makes him have some hang-ups about it. Or maybe he's not ready because he's not ready. Being a certain age has no.bearing whatsoever on what you are & are not ready for in your life. End of story.
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My boyfriend is afraid of sex
