Specifically, I need advice on how to inspire him to focus more on his health. I realize that healthy living is a decision that he alone can make. Both he and I have gained a bit of weight since moving in together due to unhealthy eating habits and lack of exercise. I'm at the point where I'd like to change that... I've made a point to incorporate more fruits and vegetables into my diet, I've cut out sodas and fast foods, and I'm ready to begin exercising again. He's just not at the point I'm at, and I'm not sure what to do...
About a year and a half ago, we had made a deal to put more effort into our health. I ended up losing 40 lbs, and he ended up gaining weight. To be clear, weight loss isn't the goal of what I'm trying to do; I don't view health as a size. But weight loss tends to be a general byproduct of healthy living, and that's what I'm trying to inspire here.
Over the past few months, he's approached me a few times saying that he wants to lose weight. I've told him of changes I think need to be made, and I've done everything I know to do to help--I've tried adding vegetables to foods when I cook (he avoids them), I've stocked the kitchen with fruits (he doesn't touch them), and I even keep a giant bowl of salad in the fridge with other components on the side, which he also hasn't touched. I've asked him what he thinks he needs to do, and I've only gotten very general, vague responses.
He eats fast food at least 3 times a week, and neither of us are particularly active at the moment, though I plan to begin running next month. I'm completely out of ideas on how to get him to focus on his health at this point... Help?
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I don't have experience with getting the other person to change, but I'll try my best
Quote:Over the past few months, he's approached me a few times saying that he wants to lose weight. (skipping stuff) I've told him of changes I think need to be made, (skipping stuff) ]I've asked him what he thinks he needs to do, and I've only gotten very general, vague responses.
so he said he wants to, and you're doing your best to help. maybe is he clueless on what to do? there are a lot of fitness guides but also fitness scams out there. is he confused? I think maybe you two can try sitting down and talk about how he's feeling and where he's at with this. What does he know about healthy habits so far, and what kind of goal he wants.
personally i think being healthy is a commitment, and there's effort to go in for results to come out. Based on this thread, I feel like there's some communications that can happen.
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Like LeafBlade said, it sounds like he needs some education on -what- healthy is. What are the good and bad things, how much of a bad thing is a BAD thing. Not just content but also portion education is a really good start on this. You need to know what he knows, and what he's guessing at. Solid facts will help him on his path.
Also, so would encouraging him to perhaps exercise WITH you. Sometimes it's just better when you have a cheerleader along, especially if fitness isn't really 'fun' for you, yeah? Running would be good. Anything that gets your heart pumping, your breath panting, and your body sweating all at the same time is going to help him with weight loss.
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I think if you do the changes together, and eat the same healthy meals then it would help A LOT. The main issue for people stopping their health kicks is they get bored of doing it alone. However if they do it with a partner/friend/family member etc they tend to stick to it and really see a change. Its partly why people lose weight successfully when part of weight loss groups - all the support.
Just tell him you believe you both should start looking after yourself more - don't buy any junk food try to keep it healthy, and think of meals a day or so before so you don't need to stop for fast food and will already have the ingredients and not want to waste them :p
[COLOR="Purple"]As I grow to understand less and less,
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I'm sure that eating fast food must be more expensive than buying fresh food that you cook into something much more delicious. Think of the savings?
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Marky Wrote:I think if you do the changes together, and eat the same healthy meals then it would help A LOT. The main issue for people stopping their health kicks is they get bored of doing it alone. However if they do it with a partner/friend/family member etc they tend to stick to it and really see a change. Its partly why people lose weight successfully when part of weight loss groups - all the support.
Just tell him you believe you both should start looking after yourself more - don't buy any junk food try to keep it healthy, and think of meals a day or so before so you don't need to stop for fast food and will already have the ingredients and not want to waste them :p
Really good advice. I purchase those disposable aluminum "take out" pie plates with lids. I then often will take a day every week or every other week and make a handful of healthy meals and store them in the freezer.
You can then toss them in the oven later instead of cooking from scratch, yeah? Saves time and it's a lifesaver when you don't want to cook or don't have time. And because they're aluminum you can wash and re-use them then recycle them when they get old or damaged.
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marshlander Wrote:I'm sure that eating fast food must be more expensive than buying fresh food that you cook into something much more delicious. Think of the savings?
You would think so! I wanted to make myself spicy chicken wraps yesterday so went out to get everything I need.. Only chicken, Garlic, Chillies and some salad things oh and wraps! Worked out it would of come to near enough £8.. so I went and bought egg fried rice for £1.80 instead! No hassle and way cheaper. To eat fresh food is so expensive!
[COLOR="Purple"]As I grow to understand less and less,
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Perhaps if he went to a dietitian he would take it more seriously. Sometimes those of of who are personally closest to the situation aren't really listened to, taken seriously, or heard.
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If he's not motivated or interested in improving his health, there's nothing you can do about it. Anytime your goal is to change someone, you're fighting an uphill battle with potential consequences. We are who we are, and change is very difficult for people. Was he the way he is when you met? Or is this a new concern? Bottom line is change comes from within. You can tell him how you feel, and let him know your concerns, but that's about it. If you push him and make it an issue, you risk driving him away and running your relationship. Tread lightly.
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Im in a sumilar situation albeit noylt having had to lose significant weight myself.
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Need advice on how to get my boyfriend healthy
