confused all around

[6stringjunkie]

Okay, I'm not sure how to fully explain, but here's to hoping someone understands. For many years I have had fantasies about the same sex and not just the same sex, but also transgendered especially. I'm still very attracted to the opposite sex, but still I go back to those fantasies more than often. A lot of times I want those fantasies to be real, but I'm scared. Honestly I'm not sure if I'm gay or not, if I were, I would totally be okay with that. Also if I am gay, I'd find it very hard to come out to my family, because everyone seems mostly against the idea. They see it as not right, which I think there's nothing wrong with being gay. Mind you I live in a real southern town, so everyone thinks like that here, but I've always felt I had nothing in common with anyone here. As far as my family goes, my dad I don't speak to anymore, because he has done nothing but put me down my whole life. My mother I am close with, as well as my sister. In general I feel very comfortable around gay people. I can't explain exactly why, but its a good comfort. These feelings I have about the same sex are very strong and again I've had since I think I was atleast 10 years of age. I'm not sure if I should act on these thoughts or am I gay, bi, or whatever I just don't know. So, if there's anyone out there that would like to give me there opinion or advice, I would be very much appreciative.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

"Act on these thoughts" Like what, run out there find a man and have sex with him? IF so - then No don't act on these thoughts.

Sexuality is not black and white.

Sex is not the defining aspect of sexuality either. Especially for males who can pretty much plug any old old, be it in a log, a sheep, a male, a female.... The penis may be the one eyes snake, but its a blind snake....

Sexuality is more about who we can see ourselves with long term, who satisfies us emotionally and meets all of those minor points that people thing about when they think of 'Us' - as being part of a couple, the whole 'two halves of the whole' sort of situation.

Unfortunately the society you grew up in is sick and twisted and is hung up on puritanical views which do not reflect true human nature. Sure things have been changing since the Free Love Generation - but one does not undo 2000 years of Tradition overnight or within a few decades.

The question for you should not be 'who do I want to have sex with?'. Sex is transitory, and most people can have sex with just about anyone.

The correct question to determine your sexuality is 'Who do I love that I want to have sex with?'.

It is who we love and want to share ourselves with in that intimacy bound up in love, not just the lust driven passion that gives a few moments of pleasure - the intimacy that is the defining factor of sexuality.

And even then it changes and mutates and seriously few people are either Straight or Gay - most fall on a spectrum of bisexuality.

So it is highly possible that if the right woman, or man, comes along you can fall on either side of the gay/straight boundary just because it easier to look at their gender and say 'I am ___________' without having to make it completely complicated by trying to define all the different ways you COULD express your sexuality with different people.

[Freak]

Again with that terms.. Terms and labels (e.g. gay straight bi) are just for descriptions, which will never describe someone's being 100%, cause everyone is subjective and individual!

So, just feel free and listen to your heart! If you like transgendered people, it's just your preference and there's nothing wrong with it!

Even paedophiliacs are born that way, they've never decided themselves being like that! As long as your attitude and behaviour are fine, there's no problems!!


btw especially, bisexual tending guys have this kind of problem: identifying theirselves.

[Wolfpack]

Does not matter what sexuality you are,and you do need to label yourself. Just explore your sexuality with whoever you choose to in a way that feels right and comfortable for you.

Btw sorry to hear that your relationship with your father has not been good