In a new town

[Zet]

Well for anyone who doesnt know me so well... I am very shy and reserved in general. Recetly I have moved into a new city and been here for about 2 weeks because of many reasons, and I just feel so lonely. I've mostly just gone to work, done my chores, play games and at times visit my only friend (Best friend) in town. Since I worked last saturday will this weekend become a long one (3 days) and I have no idea what to do or how to reach out to others. I planed to go with my friend to his cottage in the Archepelago but we suddently have to go 1 day early and I have no access to any transport to get there so my weekend will kind of be just a big void. Does anyone have any good advise on how to meet new friends?

[Wolfpack]

What hobbies or interests do you have ? You could use those to look on the Internet and try and find people in your area with similar intersest. Any local clubs or communities you could join?

And remember you can always make friends on this site, not the same I know but still could help keep your spirits up and help stop you feeling so lonely.

[sillyboy86]

Zet in a big city is different, but mainly not too much. I'm a reserved person too, etc, so I do some things to feel less lonely when I'm in a similar situation.

1st: The events. I watch on the internet, on a local newspaper/brochure what is happening in the next days. I'm into Art etc, so in general I look for exhibitions, cinema, cultural events. If you're into sport you can watch for football match, races etc, and also places like the local gym, or maybe you play music, so watch for gigs, band which are looking for a new member etc etc etc.
Doing things that interest you improve your life, and also it's a good way to find new interesting friends or at least acquaintances. Honestly I like to go to exhibitions etc even by myself and I don't feel lonely cause I feel very 'full of Art'.
When I was in London I was everyday on TimeOut and other websites to see the best events of the week. (also free events heheh)

2nd: Go clubbing. Or even a pub. In these kind of public places you can meet some people. And I'm more than sure you're not the only one in a similar situation.

3rd: Your friend. Go out with him/her. With someone you already know you should more relaxed to meet other people. You should also know some nice friend of your friend.

4th: Local groups. I don't know, cause I'm not into these, but libraries and places like these are a good way to make new friends and have a good time.

[Sharkspeare]

I don't know how this will go in Sweden---never been there---but practice just talking to people you don't know. Even if it's just to remark on the weather. It will help you become less reserved (over time, don't expect immediate behavior change) but then you will start to find it easier to break into conversation at a pub. Say, for instance, that you are sitting next to someone watching the same program on a television over the bar. You might remark about the show, or the sporting match, in a tone that suggests that you are interested in talking to the person. Good luck!

[LJay]

When are the crayfish festivals happening in Sweden. I have a friend here who is nuts about the crayfish and we were reading about the Swedish feasts. With that much food and that much aquavit, you are bound to make some friends.

Wish I could go to Sweden. It seems like a really neat place.

[VidasParalelas]

Whatever your hobbies are, try to find groups that allow you to engage in them while in a group setting. You will more than likely find more in common with people who share common interests.

[Iceblink]

2nd: Go clubbing. Or even a pub. In these kind of public places you can meet some people. And I'm more than sure you're not the only one in a similar situation.

I'm glad someone said this. Clubs and bars get a bad rap today, but it really is an easy way, as long as you put yourself out there and overcome shyness and anxiety, to meet people. I've met several people who became friends after meeting them at a club. There is a reason people gather at someplace like a club or pub and that is to be social.

[dudewithabeard]

meetup dot com seems to be a good source to find people who have similar interests. Not really sure how effective it would be where you are located but it is always worth a shot when you think you have none.

[TheGayGrotto]

I answered this question on my blog, but basically my strong suggestion was social media which I have found a lot of success with!

Please tell me how it goes!

[LJay]

Sillyboy has some good ideas. The thing is to get involved in doing something with people. Are there volunteer activities like Habitat for Humanity or Red Cross? A while back I met some guys while singing in a community chorus. Maybe there is a hiking or boating club. The idea is that if you are focused on the activity it takes the awkwardness out of social interaction. then maybe you go for a beer afterward or ask for help on something else that is going on.