I need help deciding what to do w/my life

[Camfer]

It's possible that you could have a BF and not come out quite yet. It just makes it harder to find a guy. I think you should come out because you are (or appear to be) confident in who you are, and not to find a BF, which seems to be your reasoning. Although actually, once you have a BF it's a lot easier to come out, because then you have something interesting to say! You can say, "I'm dating ________." But I guess saying, "I think I want a BF" works pretty well too.

Some people make the baby step as coming out as bi first. That's another option. This whole idea that there are three compartments for human sexuality, gay, bi, and straight, feels awfully limiting and simplified. Live your life, love whomever you want, and let others think what they will.

As for rejection, yeah, it can happen. But you have your family and you will not be completely friendless, no way. In fact, by not telling your friends you are robbing them of the chance to support you for who you are.

As to how to come out, the 2 basic strategies are (A) to tell your best friend first who you know will be okay with it and work down the list from there; or (B) tell the biggest gossip you know. There's a huge collection of young people coming out in vids on youtube. I've never been able to make it all the way through one. They're kinda boring. But you could have fun with that and it would surely make the rounds at your school. You'd get a good laugh out of it when you watch it again in a few years.

[Kenny221]

We have GSA in my school, but it would be pretty obvious if i joined it lol. I don't want to come out that way. Plus it's kind of a joke at my school...

I'm the president of GSA at my school, and I'm the only LGBTQ person in the club. lol awks. But take your time man, I didn't come out until like grade.11, and it was pretty awesome still. Honestly, having your mom and sister know about it, you're already half out the closet because those are really what matters.

Personally, when I came out, all my friends were supportive other then my family, which is kinda sad but my friends were really what got me going. I joined GSA, became the president, wrote about my experiences of coming out to my teacher(and it got published in a word contest) and everything was fantastic.


What I'm trying to say is that, depending where you are, coming out doesn't make much of a difference, esp with this generation. I find that this generation, we're a little more tolerant , and we're a little more accepting then the last. Test the waters first, ask your friends how they think about gay people.

[Kha]

you don't have to do that.
and I think coming out is overrated.
Just come out when you're ready and when you think it's really necessary.

I see myself been there, this phase is just like that, so complicated, listen to your heart , do what you want and stay strong, everything will be alright, trust me.
These times are hard, but they will pass

[cftxp]

Here's the thing. Sometimes you have to push it with some of the people in your life, even your family. When I decided that I would come out, I was 19 and at a time of my life when I felt really alone (but not because of that per se). When I told everyone on Facebook (which was basically coming out for me since the majority of the people I "friended" were real friends from school) I was given a good amount of encouragement but as soon as my parents found out they were trying to scold me for it. After a bunch of outbursts (of which I was the loudest) I ended up winning, in a sense, and I basically feel much more comfortable.

But of course, my situation may have been different than your's. I have a lot of anxiety pent up within me and so it took me way longer to go through this process than it would otherwise and I still have sort of the same mindset that I did before when I was still officially in the closet since sometimes, people have heteronormative assumptions about me and for some reason, I forget to correct them.

In my view, coming out is a pretty great thing to do and it's really important to get to a point where you can, but it will be difficult, you may even lose some support from your friends and family, but at the end, it's all about integrity and making sure that you live in the truth. That doesn't mean that you need to come out at this moment, but much of the anxiety that you feel probably is about what you don't know will happen, when there's only one way to find out.

Hope you can sort out those feelings ASAP, but remember that you always have us right here for some more help! Best of luck to you.