Dating a guy that is Disabled

[artyboy]

I feel that people are always patronizing me, gets quite tiring at times. I feel like I'm being treated like a child at times too.

I just want to be treated like a normal person like I used to be.

[Cuddly]

I feel that people are always patronizing me, gets quite tiring at times. I feel like I'm being treated like a child at times too.

I just want to be treated like a normal person like I used to be.

Doesn't the "it's only a big deal if you make it so" saying apply to disabilities too?

[MRossW]

In 2006 my husband of 19 years suffered a spinal cord injury and became disabled at the age of 57. Nothing from the waste down works normally, including walking. Up to that point in my life, I'd felt awkward around people with disabilities. I'd be friendly and polite, but I didn't really know what the "rules" were.

When my husband became disabled, it was a remarkable journey for both of us. As the far more energetic and active of the two of us, this was devastating to him. He couldn't work, something he'd done continuously since he was 16; he couldn't finish any of his indoor or outdoor projects; and we couldn't spend leisurely Saturday afternoons walking around the city. He would make an effort, but would tire quite quickly. On the other hand, he dug deep to find out the things he could do. He found new strengths, like the ability to lift himself up the stairs backwards, step by step, on his butt. It was sad to watch, but also amazing and inspirational.

As for me, I was initially extremely angry because he hadn't seen a doctor when his symptoms first appeared, and his stubbornness and fear had now changed our lives forever. But that went away when I had to find new strengths of both body and character to deal with this situation. There were times when I actually had to pick him up and move him even though he and I both weighed about 180. There were a few clean-ups for missed runs to the bathroom or potty chair. And together we sometimes have to be pretty resourceful, like how to get him from the car up a flight of stairs to our main floor when his legs weren't working after the first operation. I'm also far more attentive for drug reactions and changes in his physical state, because there's still nothing I like more than to wake up next to him each morning and the distinct feel of his skin on my hand. And he's still a great kisser.

I don't want to be preachy or condescending or patronizing, so I'll just say it's given me a whole new, comfortable and cheerful perspective on meeting and talking to disabled individuals. I will never again worry about knowing the rules and be more concerned about knowing the person. Chances are it will be a win-win situation.

(And as someone with flare-ups of essential tremor and a fair degree of hearing loss, I hope others will do the same for me.)

[artyboy]

Right then how do I tell a guy that I'm disabled as you lot find it so uncomfortable, how do I do it in a nice way and not scare them off?

[bluefox4000]

I can only only speak for me.....but when i meet somebody and if we haven't seen each other yet......i tell em straight off. I be honest and they decide for themselves if they want to continue. that's how i've always worked it.

It's not good to leave that unrevealed.

Mick

[artyboy]

I can only only speak for me.....but when i meet somebody and if we haven't seen each other yet......i tell em straight off. I be honest and they decide for themselves if they want to continue. that's how i've always worked it.

It's not good to leave that unrevealed.

Mick

Yeah but that will scares everyone off as they will think that's all I think about.

What I usually do is talk to someone for a couple of days then slowly come on to the Subject, depends really on the person.

[Uneunsae]

I don't have the courage to get into a relationship and tell them about all my health problems.

[bluefox4000]

Yeah but that will scares everyone off as they will think that's all I think about.

What I usually do is talk to someone for a couple of days then slowly come on to the Subject, depends really on the person.

Oh that's good too. I just get nervous waiting is all. I just let em have it. Actually most of them were grateful for my honesty. Sure some decided not to pursue.....but that's the nature of it. lol

Mick

[artyboy]

I get to them a little then tell them usually the second day of chatting to them. I never leave it to the date though, god that would be like sleeping with another guy the same night (Ihave never done that oh no lol).

I don't leave it too long, the best time is at the point when you start talking about work.

[artyboy]

I don't have the courage to get into a relationship and tell them about all my health problems.

I find most guys don't mind well unless you turn up to the date without telling them.

You got to watch out for the weirdos that are sexually attracted to Disabled people they can be a little scary to deal with.

But you shouldn't be scared to tell people about your disability most dont care and the one that do are not worth the worry.