Initiating conversation

[fjp999]

I think you are doing fine from the above examples! If you are very lucky you will meet THE guy who you have everything common with, can talk for hours, laugh the night away...

But, it takes practice, starts out real slow and if it doesnt work out... come back another time...

Some of my main interest that I usually bring up in conversations are movies or tv shows... that is usually a pretty good place to start and if you have the same taste there then start talking about other things... always works for me.

good luck

[marshlander]

Well done Andy_123 Keep talking. If nothing else you'll create a lot of people who think what a friendly man you are.

As for becoming a pub regular, it means just that, not necessarily propping up the bar every night. I rarely get into my local more than a couple of times a month and often less than that. It's just that I have been fairly consistant over the past few years and have obviously been recognised as boring enough for the barman to offer me "the usual" when I do go in.

[Shadow]

I think it's like most things that centre around good communication skills - it's largely about the atmosphere YOU create ... so if you come across as nervous or that you've something you're trying to hide or what have you, then people will be naturally prone to be more suspicious of you ...

... if you come across as terminally shy, that gives off a certain vulnerable-cum-cute vibe that people will pick up on ...

... if you go too far the other way and get all loud and in-their-face, then that gives off a "I'm so far up my own @rse you wouldn't believe" kinda vibe, so what you wanna strive for is something in the middle - somebody that's happy with THEMSELVES, and happy to talk to other people, but not in an overly pushy way ...

I have often wondered how I would feel if somebody used this line on me, 'coz I think it's hilarious personally ... I think I lifted it off Andy - definitely somebody on this site ... here we go.

You go up to somebody you don't know and start like this :-

You :- "Excuse me, can you tell me how much a polar bear weighs ?"
Them :- "Not a clue" (or words to that extent)
You :- "Me either, but it breaks the ice ... Soooooooooooooooo ... (converse)".

I just think I'd be laughing so hard I couldn't HELP but chat to them after that mile:.

... dunno if that actually helps, but I thought it might make you smile :biggrin:.

I think you're doing fine by the sound of things kiddo xx. I'd chat to ya .

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[marshlander]

... if you come across as terminally shy, that gives off a certain vulnerable-cum-cute vibe that people will pick up on ...

Trouble is most people don't distinguish between terminally shy and aloof. In my experience they generally assume the latter and ignore you anyway.

I like the polar bear line mile: Not sure I would be able to use it though!

[BiPenny]

... if you go too far the other way and get all loud and in-their-face, then that gives off a "I'm so far up my own @rse you wouldn't believe" kinda vibe, so what you wanna strive for is something in the middle - somebody that's happy with THEMSELVES, and happy to talk to other people, but not in an overly pushy way ...

I hope I'm not bordering on this - however I've made a decent amount of friends from my way so I think I'm doing ok!!:confused:

[wouldlikemuscle]

I hope I'm not bordering on this - however I've made a decent amount of friends from my way so I think I'm doing ok!!:confused:

Your not up your own arse but deffo loud and in yer face :biggrin: and yeah.. it DOES work for you... it attracts all kinds! lol

I soo missed half the convo you were having with the butch bird in the smoking area on Friday! Damn my inferior hearing!!

[spotysocks]

Excellent tips from BiPenny and Shadow.

I think what matters is to find a balance between what Shadow describes above ,however what i believe must be is Penny's way is very approachable and you either have it or not. Penny dont change a thing, outgoing personality is charisma too.
Andy_123 i think you did very well taking initiative to talk to people even if you find you dont have much in common it is a start so keep it up.

Would be of great help to have a list of possible senarios and how to initiate conversation with strangers and clues how to keep it going.

[marshlander]

... Would be of great help to have a list of possible senarios and how to initiate conversation with strangers and clues how to keep it going.

That's just asking for trouble

[Shadow]

A way of keeping a conversation going is to switch from it just being a GENERAL style of conversation to a more personal one ... ask them some questions - nothing too invasive - just general stuff mile: - you'll soon pick up on whether they like or don't like being asked ...

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[spotysocks]

That's just asking for trouble

nah not for me lol maybe for the one who ll answer ?...

A way of keeping a conversation going is to switch from it just being a GENERAL style of conversation to a more personal one ... ask them some questions - nothing too invasive - just general stuff mile: - you'll soon pick up on whether they like or don't like being asked ...

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

Can you give examples of questions Shadow? Would start from something random although for a shy person or not used to intiate conversation being that is not is i think. However my idea of more personal questions would be :where are you from? how long have you been here ? How you find living here? Ask them to tell about where they come from if applies. What do they do for a living ect but in a pace that keeps the conversation flowing. However this could be a bit nosey isnt it? Plus people can be really bored with these questions!