Do ex bf's "always come back"?

[Charon]

Two of mine were killed so that's out. A third is alive and well and living in Paris, the fourth is living in a small town in Missouri where he seems to be quite happy. Here's my point, I think that "boyfriends" is largely the provenance of the young, the starry eyed, the ones who believe they're in love. And one never knows, once in a great while, they may be. But...I'm always sad when I hear a pair of 16 year olds pledge their undying love and promise to be together forever. In my 70 year old head I immediately begin to wonder when "forever" arrives based on what I know of them. Let's say, don't get the silver monogrammed. Then there comes a point where having a " boyfriend" seems a bit sophomoric; A 50 year old man with a boyfriend? It does rather sound as if he'd dating a kid whose age is 18 plus 1 hour and 32 minutes. 16 in some states. I've wonderfully close friends some of whom I slept with-when I wasn't attached-and all of whom I enjoyed in variety of ways from reading a book and discussing it to the aforementioned, ahem, sex. But I didn't love them and they weren't "boyfriends" so now, when I see them, I'm delighted and so are they. They want me to meet their partners if their is one, tell me what's going on with them and want to know the same about me. I realize to the young (under 35) this will all seem weird but then....life in general seems weird to them if it doesn't come electronically delivered. The sad thing is...one day they may meet a man who's the real thing, the one they both want and need but they've had so many boyfriends that they fail to recognize this one has staying power, really cares for him....if he's lucky this nice guy won't become an ex for if he does, I can guarantee you, he'll never come back, you've already in your selfish, self-centered way hurt him to deeply. You may even go looking for him but...that candle has guttered out. Of course he'll be cordial, glad to see you but...that's all. I'll try and wrap this up by saying, it's great to have friends, lots of them, some to whom you're very close but don't play house or make an ass of yourself by proclaiming to the world that you and he are now "boyfriends".
And to the young man who intends to slug it out on Facebook, don't. What fun it will be to have everyone you know realize what an ass you are.

[Bookworm]

From my own experiences, it usually depends on how the relationship ended. I've had 2 amicable and mutually agreed breakups and I'm still technically on speaking terms with those guys, although not seen them in years. Others, not so amicable...

Everyone's experiences and situations are different, there's no script you can follow.

[novice]

.... Then there comes a point where having a " boyfriend" seems a bit sophomoric; A 50 year old man with a boyfriend? It does rather sound as if he'd dating a kid whose age is 18 plus 1 hour and 32 minutes. ...... The sad thing is...one day they may meet a man who's the real thing, the one they both want and need but they've had so many boyfriends that they fail to recognize this one has staying power, really cares for him....if he's lucky this nice guy won't become an ex for if he does, I can guarantee you, he'll never come back, you've already in your selfish, self-centered way hurt him to deeply. You may even go looking for him but...that candle has guttered out. Of course he'll be cordial, glad to see you but...that's all. ......

I use the term "bf" because it's short & to the point - I could use "partner." Idk what term my ex would use. I am "the nice guy who's the real thing, has staying power, really cares for him..." but as you say - I think he's "had so many boyfriends that he fails to recognize this one" & instead has chosen to return to his previous ex-partner with whom he'd already had a far shorter, more problematic (drama/fighting, etc.) relationship which he chose to end it was apparently too "difficult" to continue at the time. Perhaps it is an ego boost as he feels he's getting "old" that his ex would "beg him to come back to him"? My "value" seems under recognized by him (?). IDk why. I didn't pitch a fit when he ended "us" (though I was/am angry & damaged by it) - I probably didn't react harshly enough - trying to be mature about it was likely taken as a "weakness" in fact. I am "hurt too deeply" but would take him back if I got the chance. I hope he wises up SOON but I doubt it will EVER happen unfortunately.

I basically ended up "forced" by unforeseen circumstances not agreeing to be "friends" so now I have no contact with him any more (which now I am deeply regretting) - having one friend would be better than none. The difficulty of it (I think) would be more bearable than being completely alone.