Why are a lot of gays shallow?

[dudewithabeard]

Grinder is for hook-ups not relationships..

I have gotten more dates off of grindr than hook-ups. And my last hook-up was in 2012.

[princealbertofb]

I have gotten more dates off of grindr than hook-ups. And my last hook-up was in 2012.

It could also be an age thing... Dude. The older you get, the less you're interested in just hooking up for a one-nighter, no?

[artyboy]

Im 27 and Im bored of it lol!

[artyboy]

I wont explain totally how I'm feeling as I know it will upset a few people.

But I did say some gay people, I never said all gay people.

The sort of gay guys I'm on about are the ones that think they are god's gift and don't care about the rest. The sort that give the LGBT community a mad name and even put off some people from coming out as they are scared that other people will think that's how they are meant to act.

I feel I'm not welcome at most LGBT events and what ever because I don't look or act right, that is the sort of shallowness I'm talking about. Like I said I could go into it more but I wont.

[Bluelight]

All they have is their image, that's why. Some gay guys think of their sexuality as a competition; they think that they're better than certain other gay guys just because they fit more comfortably into the stereotypical gay lifestyle, and the most insecure ones flaunt it like it's their day job. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten passive-aggressive tips on how to be gay, as if I asked for their "assistance" in the first place.

[artyboy]

I don't let my sexuality define who I am, just like my disability, if people cant accepted that then they need to learn to. I don't understand this human phobia of the unknown?

[Har19]

Grinder is for hook-ups not relationships.

The majority of LGBT have issues - psychological issues. Not because they are LGBT but because of how they are treated for being LGBT.

Even those who have not been personally bashed get it secondhand.

For instance, when someone looks at a car and says 'that car is gay' - they ain't saying that the car has sexual preferences, they are saying that car is gay, which translates to gay = bad.

You are dealing with a group of people who have adopted survivor skills. Yeah sure those skills ain't pretty, but they work. Shallowness or perceived shallowness protects them, protects them from having to open themselves up to more harm - perhaps not the harm of bigotry, but harm nonetheless.

LGBT also tend to have serious relationship 'issues' not because we are LGBT, but by how LGBT relationships are perceived.

We live in a society which tells us daily that LGBT love ain't real love. perhaps not to your face, but every time we are faced with not being able to marry, we are being told exactly that.

All of that negativity we receive gets processed and turned around and comes back out.

Some of us become the jaded old queen, others decide that whilst at the bar we might as well drink until black-out... or cut, or use drugs, or run highly risky sex-capades or take our suppressed anger out on someone we can perceive as less than us in order to make ourself feel better.

That is where the shallowness comes in. And the plastic 'gotta be perfect' aspect - its all about trying to be better, to overcome all of that negativity and place self above others because so many others have place themselves above us.

*beautifully said there!

[artyboy]

LGBT is its own worst enemy at times.

Tell you the truth I think its time to try and be part of human race than stereotyping its self apart from the rest of the humans. I thought LGBT was about equality which it feels at times its not doing at all.

[matty7]

artyboy - I read your last post many times, but yes maybe it makes sense in some places - not all though , the uk is very accepting these days with laws to back it up ( lol )

[artyboy]

artyboy - I read your last post many times, but yes maybe it makes sense in some places - not all though , the uk is very accepting these days with laws to back it up ( lol )

SO you really cant see at the point I'm getting at?