Just a hookup for me, something more for him

[dudewithabeard]

So I'm usually not into hook-ups, but some time ago I went to the gay club and there I met this guy. He's actually not my type at all, I like brunets and he's blonde, but somehow I liked him very much. We both liked each other and so we went to his place and had very nice and hot sex.

Next morning I got up to leave and he asked for my phone number. I asked why does it need it and he said he'd like to meet me again, to have a cup of coffee together or something. He seemed like a nice guy and I thought that maybe some kind of friendship might grow out of it. I gave him my number and the next day we had lunch together and some more times. We talked and got know each other closer and then he asked if I have a boyfriend. I said I don't and he said he'd like very much to be my man. He claimed he's been looking for somebody to spend his life with for a long time. I was flattered that he has appreciated me and seen a potential boyfriend in me, however I said I'm not interested. I'm not a relationship person, never had them, I need lots of freedom and private life. I don't want to share my life with anyone and yes, you might also say that I'm immature and careless person. But I'm satisfied with my life.

I offered him to be friends, but he says it's not enough. Then I said that we probably shouldn't see each other again, because he apparently wants something I cannot give him, but he said I wants to see me and he likes a me a lot and wants to be my partner. I like him too, but I don't want to be together with him. That's too much for me. He's a very nice person, but I don't want a boyfriend. I also offered him to meet for just sex, he doesn't want that, he wants complete relationship. He says I'm important for him. I don't want to hurt him, but how to refuse him in a way he understands nothing will be between us?

Not into hook-ups and not a relationship person? Then how do you describe yourself?

and are you the same person who started the thread about being a hypocrite?

[Bluelight]

Not to be mean, but maybe just cut him off since you already explained the circumstances to him. Sometimes that's the only way to get through to people like that, and he might be pretty hurt by that, but he would have been even more hurt if things initially went the way he wanted them to. Also, if he's being persistent after you explained everything, then he only has himself to blame. No one has to be a martyr, everyone gets what they have coming to them in the end. How else would they learn?

[Anonymous]

He's 26, I'm 29.

I told him everything I've written here. I was blunt, I'm always blunt with everyone. I told him also that sex was good, but that's it, I don't need a boyfriend by my side. And he said he doesn't believe I'm happy that way.

Well, I believe he was looking in gay club becauce that's where you can meet most gay men.

[Anonymous]

I'm not into hookups, just this time I wanted someone to have sex with, so I have it a try.

And no, I'm not the same person who made thread about hypocrite.

[dudewithabeard]

I'm not into hookups, just this time I wanted someone to have sex with, so I have it a try.

And no, I'm not the same person who made thread about hypocrite.

The reason I ask is that the number comments made by each anonymous is the same number and keeps going up at the same time. And if you are not, then that's an amazing coincidence.

[Anonymous]

The reason I ask is that the number comments made by each anonymous is the same number and keeps going up at the same time. And if you are not, then that's an amazing coincidence.

this is a test and I'm not the OP.

[Uneunsae]

No matter who posts an "anonymous", the posts go toward the same anonymous account.

[Anonymous]

This is Uneunsae posting to demonstrate.

[TwisttheLeaf]

If you were truly as blunt as you say, then it's ultimatum time. Example: "Take what I'm offering (only sex) or walk away, because I'm not going to give you what you want (a relationship)."

[dudewithabeard]

No matter who posts an "anonymous", the posts go toward the same anonymous account.

Oh. Didn't know that. That's a good policy therefore you can never really even guess who is doing it. My bad.