This marriage is taking a serious toll on me

[Borg69]

This doesn't sound plausible to me, so I'm going to wish you luck and bow out.

[happyschizoid]

The situation you are describing is one I would make all effort to get away from. Even though I do not come from a really close family we are always there for each other in a crisis.

I would certainly contact family and old friends looking for a way out. Your sanity is at stake.

Good luck

[TwisttheLeaf]

If you have no faith he is going to pay for your surgery anyway, then it's time for you to get hold of your family (and an attorney you can trust) and garner their help in leaving your husband.

[Iceblink]

Sometimes an online forum can be useful to get some general help and direction with a problem or personal issue. From your two posts here, yours seems much too complicated to get much useful advice or help from strangers online except for this, seek professional help, both psychological and legal.