Relentless Girl Stalker

[Malec]

[SIZE="3"]Okay so I need some advice from other gay men about this. At some point in like the beginning of February, a couple of girls started working where I work. I work at a school so when they started in their classroom, all the education staff, including me, decided to take turns and introduce ourselves. So trying to be nice I told them hi.
Well one of the ladies, I'll call her Ariel, decided to come to me for some help in settling in to the new position. My classroom is next to her's so I was going to help out. Well after a few hours, she added me on Facebook. I wasn't going to add her because well I don't really know the woman. But my aunt, who works with me, said to be nice, so I accepted. Worst mistake ever.
Well, she pretty much started stalking me. I can't go onto Facebook without her messaging me. As soon as I get on, BAM! I have a message from her in seconds. At first she was trying to flirt with me. It was obvious. So I would drop hints that I was gay and not interested. Than she told me she wished she had a boyfriend so I took that opportunity to say me too. But I can't find a guy, thinking I was obvious. She asked if I liked guys and I told her Yes!
It didn't stop her. months down the road she is still trying to get with me. I've told her I only like guys. Literally, I told her I like the penis. That vagina's weird me out lol. She can't take a hint. I even started being rude to her and short with her in hopes it'd get her to back off. I ask my aunt and cousins, who are girls what to do in these situations but their advice isn't helping. Have any of you men had this happen to you. I can't like cut her off completely because I work with her and that's not changing any time soon. So any similar stories or advice?[/SIZE]

[jimcrackcorn]

You should be able to block her from seeing you on Facebook by using the Facebook Privacy Settings.

As far as I know, there's not much you can do about her at work unless she starts harassing you,,, at which point you can lodge a complaint with the school.

Most stalkers are unstable, so be very careful when dealing with her. Don't give her any opportunities to get closer to you or know anything personal about yourself. The more she knows about you, the more she can push herself into your life.

Others on this forum may have better insight on this matter than I do. Hopefully they will come along shortly.

Good luck,
Jim

[HumbleTangerine]

I don't really get it. If you're fine being rude to her, then why can't you simply tell her that the way she's acting is bothering you and that you're not interested in her at all? She's not picking up on your hints, so you need to be more direct. This doesn't mean you have to shut her out completely.

I guess, if this doesn't work either you could talk to your boss, because I assume the situation must affect the workplace in some way too.

[ChadCoxRox]

Be a good friend and confront her strategically. Make sure it's private but safe. Nobody can hear without being near, but people are around so she can't just make false claims or engage/retreat without witness. Places like the mall or the library could work. Then be a good friend and tell her flat out you are deliberately confronting her because you want to be a good friend and get to the bottom of her bullshit so that you can either continue to be friends or stop the MaDnEsS! Direct and brave...builds character for you, offers help to her and ALL mankind! Let's you practice skills that will serve you a lifetime!

[JimmyEcho]

I think Humble Tangerine Has got it right.
Direct, STOP BOTHERING ME.

[Wolfpack]

I agree with some of the others, put your foot down with her, and be direct tell her to leave you alone.

[artyboy]

Block here simple and then tell her to f**** OFF, sorry I'm very straight forward with things like this, then if she carries on report her to the police and explain everything to them. I would cover my back and report her now if I was you. Sorry it might be me being British but I don't have time for stalkers or any other weirdo to that matter.

[Borg69]

Tell her it's unprofessional to date coworkers. It may even be against company policy.

... but I would also tell her "I like you as a friend, but that's it. I do not have romantic feelings for you."

[artyboy]

Tell her it's unprofessional to date coworkers. It may even be against company policy.

... but I would also tell her "I like you as a friend, but that's it. I do not have romantic feelings for you."

I think hes done that by the sounds of it and its not working though, she just carrying on. I say talk to the police if she doesn't stop, I would report the problems you are having with the person done, as she could turn nasty and start reporting you for stuff you haven't done.

[Iceblink]

As far as I know, there's not much you can do about her at work unless she starts harassing you,,, at which point you can lodge a complaint with the school.

Actually, I think in many countries and in many states, as well as in many workplaces, this could be considered to have already reached the level of harassment. When someone has finally made it clear they are not interested, that is when it is suppose to stop and anything further is harassment. I think when it is a woman doing this to a man, we often do not look at in the same terms as we do when it is a man behaving like this towards a woman, but the gender of the person doing this does not matter, it is still harassment.