Bluelight Wrote:What's wrong with giving in to lust? That is, as long as you're being safe about it. But you did mention that you'd rather lose your virginity to someone special... well, to be honest, you might have to wait a while, unless you get lucky. Anyone living in this world of superficiality and social media would be lucky to find love at any given time, especially if they're gay.
There may be a bit of truth in what you say, but then there's also such a thing as being picky, and knowing how to wait long enough to get to know the situation in which you'll lose said virginity.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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Camfer Wrote:Le sigh. Why do gay people have to think in such heteronormative terms? Honestly, I wished that every single one of my boyfriends had more sexual experience before I met them. Good sex is a skill set that is learned. With all the communications technology available to you today, if you're single you could be learning so much if you wanted to learn it!
Your point exactly is... ? With all the communication technology that's available to us today, getting into physical contact with people has supposedly never been easier, but it's also made it scarier and more isolating. It's so easy just to stay in front of one's screen and never have to be physically in the same space as someone... Whole generations of people (kids?) have fallen in love with virtual respondents... who will never materialise.
NO, I think there is every reason to find it difficult to connect with the right person to have a physical relationship with. You just have to stop being scared of meeting with people in real life.
Some of us are lucky to have lives that involve being around people, meeting people, but such is not everyone's case. The Internet is a wonderful thing, but it has brought on quite a few cases of isolated people.
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50Plus Wrote:Except for receiving a blow job in an adult movie booth, my first experience with another man was with a transvestite escort which I chose on purpose.
The experience? Less than satisfying. (Although feeling another man's cock grow in my mouth is a memory I will never forget.) The reason it was so unfulfilling is that the individual was stoned on coke or painkillers so was not that much in to it. I got a hand job and nothing else.
I also believe that what I really wanted was more than sex. I wanted that feeling of being romantic with someone. Unfortunately it is so easy to confuse sex with romance - and I was 40 at the time.
So the question I have for the OP, is whether you want the romance or the sex? Explore that question and it will help you answer your question on hypocrisy. Good luck.
jb Very good question put by jb. Thanks for posting this.
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Quote:Originally Posted by 50Plus
So the question I have for the OP, is whether you want the romance or the sex? Explore that question and it will help you answer your question on hypocrisy. Good luck.
It's a tough question. I want romance,but it's hard to find,and sex is always easier. I might need to experiment what I really want. Thanks for sharing your experience. 
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Well it is simple as to say " Its easier to be a hypocrite when you are all anonymous deep inside."
Well think again about the insight of what I've said.
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I'm a firm believer that humanity as a whole has a hint of secret hypocrisy inside them. Each and every one of us. It's just that for some it takes longer than others to figure out what those little inklings are. And for some, they never do... or don't give a damn.
That said, I agree with the question about what you're actually after. I've found personally, that when I wanted sex. Wanted something I couldn't do -for myself- with a fist or a toy or whatever? That I wasn't really after the sex. I was after a connection. Human contact. A feeling of needing to be wanted and desired.
An escort -may- be able to temporarily give you these things... but it will be a hit-or-miss. And, to be honest? If that's what you're longing for, there's a chance if you went with an escort, you may emotionally 'imprint' on them and end up wishing they were more than just an escort. Longing after them, etc.
Re: STDs. Get your shots (hepatitis) and do things safe. Always, be safe.
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@Har19 Thanks for the insight,but it's too deep that my head hurts thinking of it,LOL. :tongue::biggrin:
@ twisttheleaf It's really hard to determine exactly what I want for now as oppose to what I want in the long term. Of course,safe sex always. 
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Hmm, morals are usually either a front for discrimination or a way of making yourself believe something that somebody else told you is good.
When I was young, single and virgin-ish, I used to think the same way. With me, the problem was that I was not only afraid to engage in random sex, but I was terrified of dating as well. I also thought that I didn't get any action, because I wasn't attractive. Only years later I realized that it was because I wasn't offering myself. I simply waited for someone to find me and fall in love with me, but things rarely happen that way. I slowly gave those ideas up and gained so much more. All those limitations were only in my head. If you don't want hook-ups, try to find a date, at least. Hook-ups aren't so bad, really. I met my current boyfriend during a hookup we have been together in a monogamous relationship for four years now.
Now, there ARE predators out there that simply want to use and then discard you, but there is no shortage of people who feel similar to you and need more from sex than friction. The way I filtered out the nice guys was by asking if they like cuddling and sensual sex.
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Anonymous Wrote:I keep telling people how I'm against hooking up,but I can't help but keep getting pulled into one. I'm in my early 20s,still a virgin,virgin to the point of never kiss,never been on a date,nop,nothing. So I almost hired an escort tonight,a very good looking one,cause I figure out my first time might as well be with a hot guys. Not that I could get one in normal circumstances cause I'm not exactly fit. But thanks god I didn't go through. Well,I can't afford it anyway,I'm still studying. Another thing that I did was changing my profile on dating apps with NSA/Hook up ticked on 'looking for' option. Every time I feel horny to the point a porn just won't do it,I do this. I never follow through though,cause as in the title,I feel like a hypocrite. Also,I'm afraid of STDs mostly,and I'd always prefer a sex with someone I love than a random strangers,but the itch won't go away. I feel a bit disgusted with myself cause I've always try to be on high moral ground (not that those who do NSA are immoral),but I keep getting lured down. I'm just afraid that one day I might follow through cause of my lust. I know that at my age the hormone is raging,but I just don't want it to take over myself and then I do something that I'll regret. Sorry for the rant,just need to let it go. :frown:
Hypocrisy is not a good trait. And never pay for sex.
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Quote:Originally posted by Eromir
Now, there ARE predators out there that simply want to use and then discard you, but there is no shortage of people who feel similar to you and need more from sex than friction. The way I filtered out the nice guys was by asking if they like cuddling and sensual sex.
That's a good tips,thank you~! May I know what kind of sensual sex do you mean here btw?
Quote:Originally posted by dudewithabeard
Hypocrisy is not a good trait. And never pay for sex.
Of course. I'm not even wealthy enough to pay for one,and I'd rather go traveling or buy some new gadgets,LOL. 
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