Revenge...is it really that sweet?

[East]

Revenge may be sweet but it's also sweaty and I know that I don't like effort or sweat

LOLOL Miles:biggrin:...I think I agree with you. I sometimes joke about taking the path of least resistance...it is my favorite path to take if I can find it...

Revenge also seems really messy and complicated....too much work...EEK

[East]

Revenge is also bad because you can not possibly know every single aspect of every situation - what led it to happen, what will happen if you get your revenge, etc. For me, it's an attitude of humility towards life in general; knowing that I haven't a clue what all the pieces to the puzzle are.

People who are unkind or doing things they shouldn't always suffer anyways. Some people call this karma. Just let it do its thing.

Good points! I agree with you and I have these same thoughts often...very well stated!

[trialbyerror]

Heeeeelll yes

[East]

There have only been about five individuals to hit the jackpot with me in this regard. More often than not I'm forgiving, too forgiving, and allow too much to slide. I have long patience and all of that crap. So for an individual to get me in the mood to destroy them utterly and completely they have to be especially annoying.

And yes there is an over all satisfaction of annihilating ones enemy, especially in those instances where they went the extra mile or hundred miles to reap the whirl wind of wrath.

Vengeance and revenge over petty stuff isn't worth it. Setting about to destroy anyone over just anything is not worth it either. Its got to be special, its got to be earned, all of that extra time and attention.

I don't fly off the handle over just anything. #2 is a primary example, he didn't stop with just punching me, he decided to stalk me, to get me fired, to get me arrested to do all manner of not so nice stuff instead of just letting me go.

He sowed the seeds of his own destruction.

I walked away the winner. He walked away a little worse for wear, but I hear he never turned to beating the crap out of another partner again, or for that matter stalking a person.

He learned important lessons.

I think I can understand this...I had fantasies of doing something to one guy I was with and since I haven't walked in your shoes I am not gonna throw stones BUT...I have to ask...do you think ultimately that forgiveness might make you more of a "winner"?

[East]

well, If it isn't sweet for you, than your not doing it right
okay, in all seriousness though, I'm a big believer in "eye for an eye leaves everybody blind"

Yeah...me too. the eye for an eye thing doesn't work for me...

...an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind has frequently been my signature over the years on websites

[East]

revenge has never appealed to me, it strikes me as wasted effort and one likely to make life worse instead of better. That said i'm not entirely averse to the idea of vigilante justice in extreme cases but such would be for purely pragmatic reasons (with as much self-righteousness involved as putting down a rabid dog) rather than notions of "pay back" or even "justice."

forgiveness, to me, isn't about being morally superior or for the other person either (at least not necessarily), it's about not letting hate or bitterness consume me so that i destroy myself obsessing over things that i cannot change. I defend myself as needed, but i don't go out of my way to pay people back, and i'll typically just freeze someone toxic out rather than plot my revenge against them.

And just because i forgive doesn't mean i therefore forget and trust as if nothing happened (that has to be earned) or even allowed to remain a part of my life, it's just about letting go emotionally while retaining what happened in memory for future reference so i don't repeat certain mistakes. I also see a difference between "thoughtless" and "malicious." and i try to not sweat the little stuff as none of us are saints with a perfect record.

^^^this^^^ I agree on all counts and the freezing out someone toxic part is the same thing I do

[Uneunsae]

"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind." And, in the spirit of Gandhi... I have followed his example and in times when people expect you to react or get revenge, but you don't, they are shocked and their own wrongdoings lay exposed and even more prominent. Sometimes this is enough for them to leave me alone and go away.

One of my exes became a completely different person after I left him. Had I turned around and took revenge on him, treating him badly, doing all sorts of mean things to him, I can 100% guarantee it wouldn't of happened. To him, and outsiders, it would have justified his cruelty towards me.

He even admitted his faults in the end, long after we split up. He honestly made a lot of huge changes and is a new man. I would never be his partner again and I'm not his friend, but I respect his self-examination and change.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I think I can understand this...I had fantasies of doing something to one guy I was with and since I haven't walked in your shoes I am not gonna throw stones BUT...I have to ask...do you think ultimately that forgiveness might make you more of a "winner"?

In cases like this, no.

Many people do not deserve to be forgiven, because they do nothing to change the behaviors that they do nor make amends.

It wasn't like this was an accident on their side, these were willful acts of harm which I countered with swift, harsher punishment. This wasn't over petty stuff like stealing my Mp3 player. This was serious stuff, harmful stuff where giving them forgiveness was giving them permission to please hurt me more.

When forgiveness is seen as weakness, it doesn't make the forgiver a winner, its likely to get them killed.

[TimeSage]

I tend to get caught up in petty revenges over little things to prove I was the right one all along. It's really satsifying the rare times I'm proven right.

[AlfredM]

It's sweet when I play it in my mind,until I actually do it..