Friend's boyfriend is blackmailing me

[Adam]

You asked what will happen if you show this thread to your friend --- well, what will happen if you don't? The BF will go to him and tell his story and your friend will know nothing of your side. I think it comes down to 2 choices --- either give in to his BF or go talk to your friend.

[Iceblink]

If you can get an admission of wrongdoing in a text from this guy or some other evidence to back you up, do it.

Depending on where you live, there is also the possibility of recording a conversation. In a few places this is illegal and punishable. In others it is not legal but only in the sense that it means you cannot use it as evidence in a court case which should not be a problem here and in many places there are no laws against recording a conversation. It is worth a shot, just be sure you're not doing anything to get in trouble.

[Ryocchi]

record him the next time he calls, there's apps for that.

[CellarDweller]

just send him a text, ask him why he thinks he can threaten you and your friendship with your friend.

Get him agitated, and he'll reply, and you'll have proof.

[Lycanthropist]

You could also show your friend the call logs from your phone where his boyfriend has repeatedly called you, instead of you calling him, right? Am I right?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I have been in a similar situation from the viewpoint of your friend. Meaning I had an ex who did this sort of manipulative game playing.

Such people tend to be really masterful with the lying, and put on a really good act for the short term. Furthermore, love is blind, and we all have this idea that no one would dare do something like that - especially to 'me'. Thus your Friend most likely will take his side.

Denial will be the first stage, then bargaining (It wasn't him, it was you - its a bargaining thing), then anger. Eventually comes depression and acceptance.

Right out the gate will the denial. Get ready to be called a liar - few people are going to react to this sort of news in any other way.

Your best bet is to gather up evidence, phone records, texts, emails, whatever you have that demonstrates that the BF has been calling you, and not the other way around.

This is going to get ugly and be ugly for a while.

However, even if your friend flies off the handle and refuses to believe you, eventually his BF is going to reveal his true colors. Such manipulative sorts end up tipping their own hand sooner or later, more often than not sooner.

No doubt if your friend is capable of reasoning in this matter, you can build a case based on what you know. For instance, how likely is it that your friend would just volunteer your phone number out of the blue? I for one would be quite interested in how his bf got that number and on what grounds.

Also, all of this inviting you to hang with them... I would be very curious how they go about deciding that having a third wheel is a good idear - who proposes such an idea? on what grounds?

If your friend is able to actually look at the whole picture he most likely will be able to look back and see a pattern which makes a case for your accusation.

Yes, its hard to accept that your lover is a player, or this manipulative. So cut your buddy some slack when he first hears this news.

Good luck.

[supasyd]

I agree with showing him the thread. That's what i'd do, and if he has a go at you give him some time to cool off. He'll probably apologize and then he'll know what his boyfriend his up to. Do note though, If he is the kind of personality to be manipulated easily he might actually forgive his boyfriend for hitting on you.

[princealbertofb]

Sounds like this new boyfriend is a homewrecker or a friendship wrecker. Is he really interested in you? Or is he interested in scaring you away so he can have his man all to himself?

His motivations are unclear, unless he really wants to have a relationship with you, which you obviously don't want and feel uncomfortable about.

I would suggest staying away from both of them, so that the boyfriend doesn't get an opportunity to corner you, and so that, maybe, your friend will start wondering why you're being distant.

Maybe, as the others here have suggested, you should keep track of the calls you keep getting from this guy, maybe change your phone number or block him off. Because he's behaving like a stalker.

It is true that if your friend is totally besotted with his new boyfriend, he may not believe you if you explain what's happening. Have you got a common friend of yours, who is not implicated but who could possibly tell your friend what's happening?

I think it might be best if you just kept your distances for a while. Your childhood friend is bound to wonder why this is happening. Tell him you're letting him spend time with his boyfriend, as you know how important this is to him.

Have you got written proof (like text messages) that this new boy is trying to break your friendship up?

What sort of proof would the new boyfriend have that you've been stalking him when it's the other way round? Wouldn't your childhood friend be aware that something wrong was up if he saw some of the texts? How about suggesting that he have a discreet look on his new boyfriend's phone? Would he find incriminating material?

[TwisttheLeaf]

I agree with CCRox and many of the others.

You need to print this thread and take it to your friend, let him know what's going on.
Also, if you have ANY texts or voicemails that make it clear what's going on, you should provide those as well.

Proof of who is calling who is easy to provide via phone records. As long as you haven't been calling him, that right there should be enough to put you in the clear if need be. You might want to have those ready as well when you talk to your friend about what's going on, just in case you need them.

[Anonymous]

No, I don't have any messages or any text forms of his words. I guess he's smart enough to understand I could use.such things against him. Most often we're talking fce to face or phone.

What does he wants? He wants both of us. My friend for money and me for, I don't know, sex or something.