In College and Confused

[McKnight45]

Hey, I'm 21 years old, I identify as straight and as you can tell from my title, I'm a little confused.

So I'm at college and I'm exposed to many different sexualities. I have many gay/bi friends that I didn't have in high school, and I think it's awesome. Being around them so much caused me to really reflect on my I own sexuality.

I'm a virgin, and never really advanced much with women, but I still feel attracted to them. But when I think about men, I also get a sexual attraction. But I've really had little experience with either so it's hard to figure it out. I feel I'm at least a bisexual.

Now comes my problem. I feel like I don't want to come out because I feel that if I try being bi and end up not liking it, I won't be able to go back and women won't look at me the same way.

My other issue of coming out is that I really want the life style of having the traditional life style with a wife and kids. I mean no offense to same sex marriages with children, I just can't see myself in that situation a few years down the line.

Thanks in advance for any and all feedback.

[austin]

A bisexual lifestyle is hard to understand for most, you need to be honest with your partner .

This is what happened to me and my girl , when I felt I was attracted to guys it ended our 3 yr relationship. Took me awhile to come to the understanding even in my own head what to label myself.
Everyone has their own opinion , but what ever relationship im in either with a guy/girl I don't cheat on them. Even tho me and my gf have an open relationship I don't think I could really date anyone else. And that's what a lot of straight and homo men think bisexual is cheating.

Didn't help you much just my thoughts on my own relationship. Good luck what ever you decide and if you have a lot of gay/bi friends at school that's a start. A good support group of friends always help .

[TwisttheLeaf]

As someone bisexual that has been 'out' all of my life, I can assure you there are plenty of women out there that will still have you after you've experimented with men, if you decide to go that route. Women (in my experience) are MUCH more open minded about bisexuality than men are.

There is also no reason that the women in your future (should you decide that you -are- straight) would even know you'd experimented. It's not as if it would be tattooed on your forehead for the world to see that sometime in your past you were curious.

Life is a journey and an exploration. Part of that is the exploration of one's sexuality. Nothing wrong with that.

[deepu69]

Don't let any prejudice come in way of your self exploration. Find out what you really are by exploring the options that are available.
Once you are sure about your own sexuality, you may decide how open or closeted you need to be.
I know you may feel extremely confused at this stage of your life. However, do remember that one cannot chart one's life based on other people's expectations and likings.
Best of luck.

[Bluelight]

I think the best thing to do is talk to one of your gay or bi friends, preferably one who would be willing to experiment with you, and just explain everything to them. That way you can experiment with your sexuality and be "safe" in the sense that you don't have to come out as anything just yet.

[Borg69]

Hey, I'm 21 years old, I identify as straight and as you can tell from my title, I'm a little confused.

So I'm at college and I'm exposed to many different sexualities. I have many gay/bi friends that I didn't have in high school, and I think it's awesome. Being around them so much caused me to really reflect on my I own sexuality.

I'm a virgin, and never really advanced much with women, but I still feel attracted to them. But when I think about men, I also get a sexual attraction. But I've really had little experience with either so it's hard to figure it out. I feel I'm at least a bisexual.

At your age, especially being near virginal anything and everything is going to get you excited. That's biological programming telling you to BREED BREED BREED. Propagate the species!

Now comes my problem. I feel like I don't want to come out because I feel that if I try being bi and end up not liking it, I won't be able to go back and women won't look at me the same way.

I can promise you that any private experimenting isn't going to alert every woman on the planet that you touched/played with a penis. There are no "He's BI Amber Alerts and your face won't end up on a milk carton.

My other issue of coming out is that I really want the life style of having the traditional life style with a wife and kids. I mean no offense to same sex marriages with children, I just can't see myself in that situation a few years down the line.

This could be social programming. From birth we're told we're supposed to go to school, get a job, get married, and have kids - little house, picket fence, dog, and a cat... Whether we want to or not. When I first realized I was gay it took me months/years to realize I don't even LIKE kids!

Thanks in advance for any and all feedback.

The RED is my response...

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Seems to me you made up your mind here.

My other issue of coming out is that I really want the life style of having the traditional life style with a wife and kids. I mean no offense to same sex marriages with children, I just can't see myself in that situation a few years down the line.

If that is what you want then don't let anyone stop you from attaining that goal.

[Will101]

Well you should experiment with both before you decide anything.. And as a lot of users have said... If you do it secretly fine, no one will know it... It's not like everyone will know it... That's the best thing to do... To realize if you are only a "confused straight" or a "noticing your latent homosexuality" or maybe just a BI. You are the only one who can tell that. and about the kids ... You can still have them.. But not in the traditional crop. Cuz if you know you are gay and still make a fake life only to have a children and traditional wife. You will be miserable as fuck. Soo that's all I hope this helps! Peace out :*

[Cuddly]

You can't control your desires, so go with what feels right to you, without a care for what the rest of the world thinks.