So what are your drills when trying to hook up with a guy,online or in real life?
What is your criteria/check list and how do you get it out from a guy without making it feel like an interview?
How do you make sure he is into giving you a good time as much as you him?
Anything you want to add on,feel free~ 
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
I've never really tried to hook up with anyone. I'm one of those stupid, passive persons who'd rather just wait for their man-interest to approach them.
Once we get a chance to spend time together I tend to ask a lot of questions. I like to cover the basics as much as possible in the beginning to reveal if there are any obvious deal-breakers (if the guy is a nazi, extremely religious, douchey, stupid etc). When you meet for the first time, questions are pretty expected so it doesn't really come off as interview-y unless you exaggerate the amount too much. Now, I rarely get to move beyond a first date. Either I blow it by asking something too straight-forwardly or making a joke that's not appreciated, but usually the guy says something that puts me off completely.
•
LOL...well...when I wasn't partnered I was a slut...I "hooked up" with somewhere around 750 guys.... +/- 100 or so...
My checklist
He cannot comment on my appearance or there will be no hookup. I don't want to be "cute" or "hot" ...but if he liked my ass or legs or something like that and made a quick comment that was OK...but make it quick
I like to sweat...or we didn't have sex
Don't even think about looking at china patterns:O
He has to be able to make things what they are. Sex is sex...no apologies or excuses. It doesn't have to "mean anything".
He has to like anal sex...bottom or top
If he naturally understands dominance/submission without the costumes that is a plus...I also like a nice balance of at least 40/60 or 60/40 dominant/submissive and/or male/female energy. 51/49 or 49/51 is heaven....really good sex...all nighters 
He cannot be ashamed of or guilty about having sex...a real turn off
I have to connect on some level with him as a person.
He cannot have ever been involved with any of my friends nor can he currently be in a relationship with another man that I am aware of.
No virgins....
That was my slut profile in a nutshell 
•
I tend to go with the flow of what my body needs/desires. If my hormones are racing and masturbation just isn't enough, I have a reasonably sized group of friends with benefits that I can trust. I met those friends in a variety of ways, from school, from work, from adam4adam, from other friends. It also helps that those FWBs have a variety of sexual differences (as in what they like, top, bottom, versatile, kink), so my moods can be met.
It feels more organic and that's good for me, but there are plenty of websites for such things.
•
I look for friendly, courteous guys who know how to respect other person's views and space. Willingness to explore and learn new things is a big plus.
Prejudice is an instant turn off.
•
•
LucasVonSeattle Wrote:I tend to go with the flow of what my body needs/desires. If my hormones are racing and masturbation just isn't enough, I have a reasonably sized group of friends with benefits that I can trust. I met those friends in a variety of ways, from school, from work, from adam4adam, from other friends. It also helps that those FWBs have a variety of sexual differences (as in what they like, top, bottom, versatile, kink), so my moods can be met.
It feels more organic and that's good for me, but there are plenty of websites for such things.
That sounds fantastic,if you don't mind elaborating on how do you build this circle of FWBs,that would be very helpful. 
deepu69 Wrote:I look for friendly, courteous guys who know how to respect other person's views and space. Willingness to explore and learn new things is a big plus.
Prejudice is an instant turn off.
That is a great quality to look for,but in hook up scene,how do you identify if the guy has these qualities in a short time?
•
He cannot comment on my appearance or there will be no hookup. I don't want to be "cute" or "hot" ...but if he liked my ass or legs or something like that and made a quick comment that was OK...but make it quick
That's interesting,I like to be complimented,that would make me all flowery inside,lol
I have a weird relationship with my appearance. I had plenty of guys tell me they liked my looks but I have never really had a clue what I look like because however I feel at any given moment is how I think I look and it changes. I spend maybe a minute after shaving in the mirror and when someone tells me I am good looking I think it is odd....I don't see the difference between telling me I am good looking or telling me I am ugly. Both things are subjective and have nothing to do with me anyway and I feel weird when someone says it (and they said it to me all the time as I worked in a gay bar)...I can't say "thank you"...I would feel like a dork and it is very awkward. Sometimes I would tell them that I would let my parents know they liked their genes???????
Bottom line...If someone focused on my looks I didn't think I would have very good sex with them...and I don't like to talk about it one way or the other. It makes me uncomfortable and not at all horny....Even worse was the dreaded "We would look good together"...ACK. Total boner killer....
Don't even think about looking at china patterns
Err,what is this 'china patterns' again?
That is just an expression for guys who don't understand that sex is sex and want to jump into a relationship with any guy they have sex with...or decide it means something more than it does...
If he naturally understands dominance/submission without the costumes that is a plus...I also like a nice balance of at least 40/60 or 60/40 dominant/submissive and/or male/female energy. 51/49 or 49/51 is heaven....really good sex...all nighters
And how do you know he understands that before engaging in sex with him?
Well...I think the seduction is maybe the sexiest part sometimes...kinda like a dance...and you can feel the sexual chemistry between you. I always know right away if I am sexually compatible with a guy
I have to connect on some level with him as a person.
I feel like I don't have to,it doesn't really matter if it's a one time thing,unless it's gonna be a regular thing.
That's good...you should always be true to yourself and know who you are as much as possible for optimal potential...
"Connecting" for me could be completely unspoken communication...
That was my slut profile in a nutshell
As expected from slut master~
LOL...compared to a lot of my friends at the time...I was kinda conservative and alot less of a slut than most of them. That was pre-AIDS...things were MUCH DIFFERENT
•
OK so I have absolutely no experience in this area, I've been with my BF since I was 19 and haven't had a lot of dating experience except for teenage madness and insanity.
But I read one of the things that East said --- "...I have to connect on some level with him as a person..." and it struck me as a total no-brainer.
If I'm going to meet a total stranger, have sex and go home, I might as well just jerk off.
I would need at least some minimal interaction - talking, flirting --- IDK maybe I'm unaware and boring and inexperienced but it seems dreary and pointless.
IDK - like I say, not much experience to draw on --- but damn, I would want something more.
•
Adam Wrote:OK so I have absolutely no experience in this area, I've been with my BF since I was 19 and haven't had a lot of dating experience except for teenage madness and insanity.
But I read one of the things that East said --- "...I have to connect on some level with him as a person..." and it struck me as a total no-brainer.
If I'm going to meet a total stranger, have sex and go home, I might as well just jerk off.
I would need at least some minimal interaction - talking, flirting --- IDK maybe I'm unaware and boring and inexperienced but it seems dreary and pointless.
IDK - like I say, not much experience to draw on --- but damn, I would want something more.
That's actually a very good insight. It does seem boring when you get down to the act without at least connecting with something as simple as flirting.
•
|
