confused

[foxtrot14]

ok so im 18 and im a guy and i just graduated high school. I have two great parents and they tried thier best to raise me right. im just like anyother guy you would see i talk to girls and ive went out with a few but never had feelings for them and so we usually broke up after awhile. but anyways just from looking at me you would never think that i might could be gay. i watch straight porn and have this thing for milf porn and latinos but i always get turned on by the guy and the women in the porno, but i also have this thing for gay porn also. ive crushed a couple of times on these guys ive went to school with. but last summer i went to basic training and as expected i showered with other guys but inever got a hard on i did sometimes take a glance at thier packages and then i would look away. nd for the past few months ive come to the conclusion that i might be gay. i recenlty joined a gay dating site and got a little bit curious when this other dude my age messaged me..... but i cant come out and tell my family because my family is a straight conservative family and they wouldnt take it so well......but any advice would be great.

[Adam]

Until you have a much clearer sense of your sexual identity, I wouldn't even worry about coming out to friends and family. At this point, it sounds like you might fall somewhere near bi on the sexual spectrum, but only you can determine that.
You first need to decide if you want to explore your attraction to guys. If so, maybe you could talk more with the guys on the dating site, see how it feels to flirt a bit, and if you eventually feel comfortable enough, meet one of the guys for coffee and to hang out a bit and see where it goes.
Take it slow and only do what you're comfortable with. And the fact that you didn't have feelings for the girls you dated doesn't mean you're gay --- it may just mean that they weren't the right girls.
You don't need to rush into sex with anyone - male or female. Take your time and figure out what works for you.

[MikeW]

I agree with Adam. Sexual preference can be complicated for some people. I knew I was 'gay' (in the days before the term was used the way it is now) from the time I was a little boy. Other guys don't figure it out till much later in life. Some fall somewhere in between and are genuinely bisexual to one degree or another. Feel free to become a part of this (and perhaps others, google: "gay forums") forum communities. Don't be too shy about posting whatever is on your mind. "Gay" encompasses a lot of variations, too. You may learn a lot about yourself just by talking with other guys who identify as 'gay' or 'bi'. Welcome to gayspeak!

[Wolfpack]

Hi and welcome to gs

You do not have to label you sexuality, take as much time as you need to learn and explore your feelings, coming to terms with one's sexuality is never easy but you WILL manage it eventually. As for when if and how to tell other people this must be your decision and yours alone.

[Iceblink]

This is the time for curiosity and explore, even if for the time being that means only in your fantasies, to find who you are sexually. I am assuming from your age and described situation that you are financially dependent on your parents, so be very cautious of doing anything that might put that in jeopardy. Also, since you are new to the online dating thing, be vary careful, whether it is a gay site or straight site, about who is really behind those online profiles. It can be a great way to meet people, but you have to be cautious, especially at your age.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Welcome to GS, man.

It sounds to me like, as Adam and Mike said, you fall somewhere on the bisexual spectrum. With being bi, there's really no easy answer. In order to know where you fall and become comfortable with that spot on the spectrum, you need to learn and explore.

I agree with the others that taking things slow and exploring is probably a good idea -before- you try 'coming out' to friends and family. You'll feel much more confident in your choices and preferences, which will help in your confidence in coming out to others, if you get a little exploration and experience first.

[saif1232]

As previous posts say, you shouldnt worry about coming out to anyone until you are sure about your sexuality, and I believe you are bi as you have mentioned that you watch the man and woman in pornos, although there is a possibility you are just in denial and are gay, to make sure, try watching lesbian porn, or just a female solo, that should help determine what your sexuality is, ALSO! Your personality doesnt determine your sexuality, so it doesnt matter whether you are "straight acting" or not

[CellarDweller]

Welcome to the forum!

As for your sexuality, take some time to get a feeling of who you are, some self-exploration, and then things may become clearer.