Dating/Relationships

[Hebiscus]

You're all right. I was told that Grindr was a good way of finding people from a friend, I didn't know he meant finding a quickie...thank you all for your responses!

[Virge]

A few weeks ago someone asked a similar question.

The bottom line is if you're depending on any form of social media to produce the best results for a relationship (especially long distance) you've got more working against you than for you right from the start. So much is missed through typed words that's not in face to face communication and that's just the start.

Try to meet a guy in real life and use all the wonderful technology to build from there.

I met my BF face to face even though we're 16 time zones apart. How have we made it work? #1. Getting out of facebook and all social media. #2. communicating via skype 3-4-5-6 times daily, going to see each other on a set schedule and #3. Keeping our own private blog where we both go to post notes and news for each other so we don't have to spend all our face time discussing silly little shit. When my alarm goes off in the morning I sit up and click the blog to see what he's written about. We actually have most of our meals together (just not the same ones because of the time difference) Most of our face to face time is fun stuff and us just being stupid relaxed selves, talking about US and no one else.

[meninlove]

Grindr is a HOOKUP app., not a DATING app. Try okcupid, but keep in mind there are jerks there too.

Gosh, even I know that, and I'm old, Canadian, out of touch, and in a monogamous relationship for 25 years and the only porn I've seen is the 1980 playgirl centerfold in the magazine, lol.

OP, try another site, like the OKCuopid thing or something called kettle of fish or something like that. Even better, get out there and make lots of friends in the flesh, not just online.

[Hebiscus]

A few weeks ago someone asked a similar question.

The bottom line is if you're depending on any form of social media to produce the best results for a relationship (especially long distance) you've got more working against you than for you right from the start. So much is missed through typed words that's not in face to face communication and that's just the start.

Try to meet a guy in real life and use all the wonderful technology to build from there.

I met my BF face to face even though we're 16 time zones apart. How have we made it work? #1. Getting out of facebook and all social media. #2. communicating via skype 3-4-5-6 times daily, going to see each other on a set schedule and #3. Keeping our own private blog where we both go to post notes and news for each other so we don't have to spend all our face time discussing silly little shit. When my alarm goes off in the morning I sit up and click the blog to see what he's written about. We actually have most of our meals together (just not the same ones because of the time difference) Most of our face to face time is fun stuff and us just being stupid relaxed selves, talking about US and no one else.

Thank you so much for your advice memechose. I guess it's just the fact that in this time period, everything is boiled down to technology as a means of communication. Being 18 and having never been in a relationship makes me a beta in this type of setting, seeing as how I'm not accustomed to the certain actions people make in order to get one step closer to a relationship. As of now however, I've deleted my Grindr, and hoping that once I enter college, I'll find someone special. Thanks again for your time!

[50Plus]

And yes, it is much easier to get laid than it is to get someone out for dinner.

Had my profile on several of the singles sites. Sure had a good ego boost on Squirt and Craigslist - I could have been having sex 24/7 for a month if I wanted to.

And how about the relationship sites? Very few possibilities, but that is simply because one becomes picky when the heart and not the dink make the decisions.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Grind'r isn't for dating.

In fact the majority of so called 'dating' sites have a heavy load of people looking for 'just sex'. OK cupid is free.... Do expect to get hit up by guys wanting to have just sex there as well. There are a few sincere guys...

You're 18. I didn't have my first lover until I was 24. Granted I wasn't really looking for a relationship around 18, I had already concluded I was a natural celibate and cut of more clerical cloth... So I didn't put any effort in meeting guys (I was so far in the closet I didn't even think gay was a possibility).

Put yourself out there and be patient. Don't give in to those who demand you have sex if you don't want to have sex.

The old fashion method still works, build a social network - no not facebook - a face to face social network.

You won't meet a good man if you ain't meeting men....

[Virge]

Thank you so much for your advice memechose. I guess it's just the fact that in this time period, everything is boiled down to technology as a means of communication. Being 18 and having never been in a relationship makes me a beta in this type of setting, seeing as how I'm not accustomed to the certain actions people make in order to get one step closer to a relationship. As of now however, I've deleted my Grindr, and hoping that once I enter college, I'll find someone special. Thanks again for your time!

You're welcome buddy!
Just 18? geez. Don't be getting in such a rush to get into a relationship until you're ready and not just wanting one. By ready I mean in all things from getting a great attitude, getting your life on track and ~~~~~~~~~ cutting out the drama.

It seems about twice a week I'm giving the same advice I got about relationships when I was 19. It took a while for it to set in my head before I put it in action....

"If you aren't the person YOU want to spend the rest of your life with then don't be disappointed if no one else wants to do it either. When you become the person you want to spend the rest of your life with there will be no shortage of people wanting to help you do it."

In other words, focus on improving yourself and your life more than finding a guy. When you and a THE guy find each other you'll both figure it out about the same time... so I'm told. I'm no expert on that cuz I'm stuck with the 2nd guy I messed around with and can't get rid of him now. (JK) The truth is I can't imagine not having him.