Open relationships?

[Ceruleaan]

Hey all, just hoping to get some advice on open relationships. My boyfriend and I are considering such an arrangement and I want to have a better idea of what he and I are getting ourselves into.

I know that such setups work for some and not for others, and it may or may not work for us. I want to have as good a picture as I can going into this. Does anyone have any advice or thoughts to offer, or experience on the subject and what works and what doesn't?

Thanks everyone.

[Jake]

Hey all, just hoping to get some advice on open relationships. My boyfriend and I are considering such an arrangement and I want to have a better idea of what he and I are getting ourselves into.

I know that such setups work for some and not for others, and it may or may not work for us. I want to have as good a picture as I can going into this. Does anyone have any advice or thoughts to offer, or experience on the subject and what works and what doesn't?

Thanks everyone.

What works you'll have to decide it for yourself, what you need is to set the boundaries of what both of you agree to let in your open relationship. Are you going to allow your BF to have sex while you're not present, are you going to watch, there's a lot of things to settle before opening your couple's door. My BF and I had 2 years of open relationship, but honestly I didn't enjoyed it much, while Alex was hit by all the hottests because he's a darn twinkish supermodel (the real one not the skinny fuck type from BoyCrush and Helix Studios LOL), I had the average or of course all the others that didn't want Alex because they just wanted the black experience (that's when we set that we were only open to three ways). Pay very attention with open relationships, it can bring more issues than joy. But there's no harm trying. When I wasn't in couple, I always refused to date couples.

[princealbertofb]

So, Ceruleaan, what's the deal? Are you happy with this? Are you going into this new type of relationship with the same desire to have sexual liaisons elsewhere than in your couple?

Yes, it works for some, especially when one or the other doesn't have the same sort of sexual fantasies or the same sex drive. Do you actually know why you both don't want to become celibate again, or at least single?

It just seems to me that maybe you committed to each other too early, and didn't have time to sow your wild oats maybe, when you were teenagers? However, you'll have to have a long talk and define what each of you is comfortable with.

Needless to say, if you are still going to be anyone for one another, you'll have to protect yourselves, so that you don't bring any harm into your own relationship (I'm talking protection from STDs for starters __ no one likes having to deal with someone else's mess if they can avoid it), then there's the emotional impact: how much does each of you want to know about the other's sexual encounters? Is it still easy once you're in that type of relationship to have intimacy in the same meaningful way as before? Why or why not?

It's a game of adaptability. No doubt you can both wing it, but let's hope that you are both strong in your resolve to each other. Once you bring in new people, there might be some who get attached and who will erode at what you have. Such is life.

Is there a big age difference between your boyfriend and you? Does that bring some explanation to this new state of affairs?

[Ceruleaan]

I do want to have my own sexual encounters but I'm a bit worried issues may arise from us having different views of what sex means. For me I! Quite happy with the emotional side of the relationship, but a degree of sexual incompatibility makes !e think this could be good for us.

He tends to see sex as a more invested thing though and gets attached easily. For me I know I'll be able to treat sex with third parties as just that, but given his proclivity for attachment I'm afraid his liasons might threaten our relationship.

In terms of what I want, I want more regular more satisfying sex, and that's about it. For him I don't really have a good idea of what he's looking to get out of an open relationship, and he seems tight lipped or awkward about it - Im not sure if this is because he doesn't want to tell he's still finding the topic a but awkward.

Moving on, I was hoping people could suggest some starting ground rules that could help guide us in developing our own I guess...

Thanks again!

[Virge]

Hey all, just hoping to get some advice on open relationships. My boyfriend and I are considering such an arrangement and I want to have a better idea of what he and I are getting ourselves into.

I know that such setups work for some and not for others, and it may or may not work for us. I want to have as good a picture as I can going into this. Does anyone have any advice or thoughts to offer, or experience on the subject and what works and what doesn't?

Thanks everyone.

You want advice from someone who isn't all wound up in the monogamy is everything drama? here it is.... You are a stupid nerd tard for even even thinking you can get a glimpse of the big bag of cookies from a slut view with your legs held open like its all about a porn movie.

Just PM me and start a dialog.

[princealbertofb]

I suppose you would have to list a few things that you'd like to try and haven't tried before, and maybe ask him if he'd agree to let you do this... Why don't the two of you have more regular sex and more satisfying sex? That would be the first question I'd try to resolve.

[Jake]

Or do it together, then you can see how he reacts when someone else touches you. You'll be fix right there. I do get excited when Alex is getting sucked by someone else, but OH my god, don't kiss him, and don't even try to penetrate him even with a finger lol, those areas are MY playgrounds.

[Ceruleaan]

The issues with sex life are basically down to some incompatibility (surmountable IMO) and different sex drives. I want more sex to out it bluntly.

Our incompatibility lies in him being a pure top and me being vers (and like to do both). That I can deal with but the lack of frequency I can't. We have very different schedules. He works full time afternoons and evenings, and I'm in grad school, so when we seldom are both in the mood. On top of that has also just not that big into sex. Which is another reason for me to wonder how this whole thing will play out...

[Jake]

The issues with sex life are basically down to some incompatibility (surmountable IMO) and different sex drives. I want more sex to out it bluntly.

Our incompatibility lies in him being a pure top and me being vers (and like to do both). That I can deal with but the lack of frequency I can't. We have very different schedules. He works full time afternoons and evenings, and I'm in grad school, so when we seldom are both in the mood. On top of that has also just not that big into sex. Which is another reason for me to wonder how this whole thing will play out...

Sounds to me that he's a little older than you... 15 or 20 years older am I right?

[princealbertofb]

I can't be possessive of another person's body. My man's body is his own and he can do what he wants with it. However I am happy when he lets me share it. And I'm happy to let him share mine too. A sex life, just like a relationship, is something that demands work and thought.