Straight man dilemma

[lauj]

I've been in this situation before and I usually quit seeing my crush until everything gets back to "normal". I have never told any of my crushes how I feel about them but with this guy I have. He already knows I'm gay so when I told him, he said he didn't care but when I told him that I want to part ways for awhile just until I get over him, he didn't like it. He said he valued our friendship and we shouldn't grow apart because of it. At first I thought I was being used, maybe he just wanted me around so that I can buy him stuff. However, every time I spend money on him(buy him groceries/gas) or do things for him, he finds a way to pay me back; whether its money, groceries or a bottle. And he'll even be like "this is for the time you did this". I usually don't even let him pay me back but he'll sneak it in my car. On some of his bad nights he'll call me up and tell me what he is going through and how stressful he is, those nights we'll talk for hours. I feel really selfish for only thinking about my feelings, when this guy is struggling to find something to eat for lunch. But I can't overcome how I feel about him. I met an attractive gay man the other day and I had no interest for him, I could only think of that straight guy. I don't think he has a clue of what he is doing to me... I can't keep my mind off him. And since I got him a job at my workplace we see each other more now. It hurts me emotionally not having what I want. The other day I did 2 hours of his shift because he had to leave early. So on the phone he says "thanks for doing my 2 hours... i'll do you for 2 hours anytime" and he starts laughing. When he jokes like that it, it does something to me. I don't know how to describe it. So I'm wondering, should I leave him alone and let him struggle on his own or be there for him and just hold my feelings inside til his situation gets better? I want to be there for him like a good friend and I don't think he has anyone else.

[50Plus]

Suggestion: Take him up on his offer of two hours of banging you. Tell him that is what you really want.

[TwisttheLeaf]

I need to make sure I'm understanding this correctly. I got that he knows that you're gay.

But, he knows that you have a crush on him too?

If so, from everything I read here.... are you sure he's entirely straight and not at least sitting on the curiosity fence?

[polfsky]

Sorry that must be so miserable for you. I think he's not trying to use you The fact that he's trying to pay you back for everything shows that. It seems he values his friendship with you too.

I know how painful one-sided crush can be. I had crushes on two straight friends and those were really emotionally painful times for me. Now I'm over both of them.

Now I have another crush, which is also quite miserable. I want to tell him so badly that I'm attracted to him and can't keep my mind off of him everyday. I fear that by telling him, I'll drive him away and ruin our friendship.

[lauj]

our relationship is weird, tonight he wants to drink beers and I'm going to crash at his house... sometimes I do wonder if he is straight or not. But he has a kid and a girl who he has been with for 8 years. He is just really friendly and humble

[Uneunsae]

Getting over him is best for you both. And his girlfriend. If a good friend can't bear a little time apart from you, then something isn't right. Something seems so weird in this relationship.

[LJay]

You need to sit down with him and talk out the crush thing. Tell him how much it is bothering you. Ask him to be honest with you about how he sees it.

Oddly enough, if everything you say is the case, this guy might actually be a real friend who cares. If that is the case, don't fight it.

[Bluelight]

Aw, you know what? It sounds like he's just trying to show his support in his own way. That whole "2 hours" pun, he probably just doesn't realize how much you really like him.

Your feelings might go away on their own, that's always been the case for me whenever I felt my heart throb for a straight guy. Unfortunately, straight crushes are just part of being a gay man, it'll all be okay.

[polfsky]

I heard though that telling a straight guy that you have a crush on him can make it awkward. He won't know how to be normal around you any more.

[lauj]

I heard though that telling a straight guy that you have a crush on him can make it awkward. He won't know how to be normal around you any more.

I've heard that too, but what's really weird is that ever since I told him I liked him we grew a lot closer. I guess its not really weird but a blessing. Whatever happens I'm going to stick with him and try to just let these feelings fade away.