Leave of Absence

[Udabar]

Ok, Well I just wanted to let everyone know why I was gone from the site for so long. Some of you who know me might be interested in what I have been up to, all you others who dont know me just might find this interesting to read. Everyone is free to leave comments that might be able to help me on the road I have travelled and to which road I should be taking next. So here goes the long story...

Well, when I first started to stop visiting this site, I had gotten a new job back home when I was living with my parent. I was so wrapped up in the job I had gotten due to I loved the job and I was moving up the ladder so quick I could lose site of what I was doing. I had meet some new friends and I was going out with them all the time to drink and just to have a good time which I havent done in a long time. I love the new job and I love my new friends.

Shortly after I was there, roughly around 5 months I had went to Gay Pride weekend here in Dallas and I had meet this guy and we hit it off really well. I then started to play WoW with him everytime I got off work and talked to him on the phone. At this point I hadent been on the site in about 2 months. Evently I made the decision I was to move to Dallas and be closer to him and start a whole new life. In the mean time before I moved I was visiting him every weekend and having a great time with him. Later I was to realize he wasnt what he was cracked up to be.. But more details on that soon.

I then moved in with him on Novemeber 16, 2007. It was a little cramped in his one bedroom apartment and the parking in the apartment complex was difficult but after being with him for a while, he wanted to get a house. I was a little weary about the whole thing, but when I finally got the courage to dsay something to him about moving into a house with him, he told me, "I have always wanted to own a house and your no going to drag me down now." At that point I knew it would last long, if he will act like that about him getting house and spending a lot of money or being in an apartment for anohter year to save some money, I didnt want to see what he would be like over other stuff. I pushed on and he got the house he was eyeing and we moved in April 1, 2008. During the time of us moving and before, we would bicker about little pety stuff and he didnt think anything was wrong.

Well we moved into the house and everything was going good. We were happy for the time being and we had a pool. The house was beautiful. I told him before we got it though that my name would not be on the house anywhere in case it didnt work out. He understood and all was fine. While in the house things started to go down hill quick. We started to bicker more and more and at one point I told him I was goin to go hang out with my friends and just chill and have a good time and he asked me if I was goin with out him. I told him yes and he said that we shoul always do stuff together. I just looked at him and then called my friends and cancelled. I never cancel on my friends and I didnt want him to go due to whenever he is out with me and my friends he just sits there like a lump on a log and asks when were leaving. Oh but if he wanted to go out with his friends he never told me anything he would just go and then come home and get back on WoW. If I did go with him to hang out with his friends he would ignore me or get mad when his friends are paying more attention to me due to I like to have more fun than he did.

Well things took a turn for the worst when one day I got a call one of our friends while I was at work telling me to come over and that they had called my boyfriend and invited him but he didnt want to go because he was playing WoW. I told them sure and once I got off I headed over there. Well we were all over there having a great time in the pool and drinking and then guess who called my cell. I was on the other side of the pool so I asked my fag hag to answer it and tell him to get his ass over there to have a good time and get off that damn computer of his. He then demanded she put me on so I swam over and got on the phone and he started yelling at me and then when I started to talk he said whatever and hung up on me. I at that moment decided I will not stand for this shit anymore. I decided to stay there till we were all either to drunk to talk or to tired to stand. Once the sun started to come up I headed home. I knew what to expect when I got home but I said fuck it. He treated me like shit, I dont care anymore. Once I got home he was in bed so I went into the spare bedroom and layed on the bed to crash out and was thinking we would deal with it later that day. Shortly after I layed down he came bardging into the room screaming. I just sat there staring at him, once I saw the opening I took it. I opened my mouth and out came, "Fuck off ass hole I am trying to sleep. We will deal with your ignorance later." Well he wasent happy. I wont get into anymore details on that.

About a week later I made the decision to move out and started packing my shit. I got half my shit moved into my friends apartment and when I tried to get the rest of it he became an ass hole and dint want to give me any of my shit. We went though a lot of arguing and finally after having the cops out at the house I got my shit. He bought me a cat for my birthday and I took the cat when I left due to I told him I would and he said what ever. Well I he told me he wanted the cat for the rest of my shit. Well I didnt want to make a big deal over a fucking cat so I said fine. I gave him the cat and I have 6 friends over there with me incase anything happened. They all helped me move my shit and he was gon from my life.

I moved in with a friend of mine who, at the time I didnt know, was a fucking slob. I cleaned his place like crazy and got all settled in, go my shit put in storage and then I met this new guy. He was almost like me. He loved everything I loved and we liked to do a lot of the same stuff. Well I was talking to him and living with my friend and then I could take my friend anymore. He was such a slob and I was over it. The guy I was talking to, his mom asked me if I wanted to move into her house with them and I took a week and thought it over. She said there will be no bills to pay and I said yes. I am now living there and me and this guy are staying in the same room. No sex unfortunaly. I love that they took me in and that I dont have to pay any bills but I am spending $90 USD a week on gas to get to and from work and I live and hour and a half away from anything. I am now talking to this other guy hat I just meet the other day and I am looking for my own place.

Well there is the story. Sorry for such short words but I am at work and about to go home in 4 mins so I had to cut a lot of it short. If you have any comments that might help me on getting my life straight please post them. Hell... Just post away.

[XRIMO]

Wow, thats terrible. Glad to hear that you are back on your feet. Yeah, I don't know if I have any real advice for you. My theory on life is to make sure I'm healthy, wealthy and wise before I jump into any situation.

Living on your own will most probably help since you won't have to worry about other people's emotions or messiness. That way you have time to think over things. I can't wait until I get an apartment on my own again. Anyway, just take some time and focus on making your life enjoyable.

My other suggestion is to have trustworthy friends or family whom can talk to and relax with.

Good luck, I'm sure it will turn around for you and things will get back on track! :biggrin:

[Udabar]

****UPDATE****

Well, I forgot some stuff and I was thinking about it on the way home.

While I was living at the house with my ex, I got in a car accident which set me behind so much. I had a car that was payed off and didnt have to pay anything on it. I was on my way to work one day just crusin down the road smoking my cigarette and all of a sudden someone slams into the front right side of my car. This dude in a Lexus gets out of his car and walks over saying, "OMG, Are you alright? I didnt see you coming." I was in such a state of shock I didnt know what to do or say. The first thing I said was, "Where is my cigarette?" The last thing I wanted to happen was my cigarette to catch the car on fire. I looked all over with no luck. So I went to open my car door to get out and the door was jammed. I had to climb out of my drivers side windows to get out of the car. I called 911 (emergency) and told them what happened and they sent a police officer over to the sceen. After a while of me freaking out and shaking like hell, I was walking around my car and I found my cigarette 10 feet from my car. So I pulled out another and lite it up. I got a settlement out of it for a new are of $6000 on top of that I am sueing the guy for lost wages because I couldnt go to work that day and I am also sueing him for mental break down.. And oh boy did I have one. That was the start of my life going down hill.

Now more about this dude and his family I am living with. I thought I liked him till we started living together, that will change things, I found out that he is really rasist and so is his whole family. I am no where near rasist and I hate... HATE HATE HATE HATE people who are. He is also superficial. He just got a gym membership so he can go work out. His reason for doing it isnt to just get into shape and make him feel better, he likes/wants to go so that he can stare at all the hot guys that work out there and also have people look at him. He want to get into shape so he will look better and be more attractive and sexy. I understand that some people got here just for those reasons, but that isnt why I say he is superficial. He says that he will not hang out with anyone that is ugly much less wont even talk to them. Come on now, not everyone in the world is or has to look good. There are a lot of people out there, sorry if your one of them, who are ugly, but they have such wonderful personalities. I dont care who you are, if you have a wonderful personallity I will talk to you. And then we come around to the point that he is also conseeded. OMG... He talks about how is ass is so wonderful and keeps talking about other guys asses and how he would do so much to them just because they are good looking and have a wonderful ass. Then he will turn to me and tell me that I dont have an ass and I need to do something about it. I cannot live here anymore and have someone judging me all the time. This shit is getting old and tiring really quick.

Well that was my update on more of the long story. I told you I had a lot going on.

[Udabar]

Wow, thats terrible. Glad to hear that you are back on your feet. Yeah, I don't know if I have any real advice for you. My theory on life is to make sure I'm healthy, wealthy and wise before I jump into any situation.

Living on your own will most probably help since you won't have to worry about other people's emotions or messiness. That way you have time to think over things. I can't wait until I get an apartment on my own again. Anyway, just take some time and focus on making your life enjoyable.

My other suggestion is to have trustworthy friends or family whom can talk to and relax with.

Good luck, I'm sure it will turn around for you and things will get back on track! :biggrin:

Thanks for the reply. Living on my own will be hard, but I will do it. No.. I am going to make it and it will be the best thing to ever happen to me.

I would love to have trustworthy friends to be able to rely on and talk to, but I currently have about 4 friends and they are not trustworthy. I have recently lost most of my friends and I am not close to my mom to be able to talk to her and I only have one day to talk to her about anything and I hate talking on the phone. I would rather see people face to face when I talk to them. I do live close to my brother and talking to him is like talking to a brick wall. If it dont do it his way, then he doesnt want me talking to him about it.

[andy]

OMG didn't realise you'd been through so much crap! That ex of yours sounds like a real schizo... glad you managed to escape before it got any worse!

Great you're getting back to your old self again.

Chat soon,

Andy xox

[spotysocks]

Udabar!!

Seems good luck wasnt with you in the past months. When you started this relationship you told me on msn your bf is a little immature and then you added that you like it but tbh i start to smell something fishy at this point.
Hope you find your own appartment very soon. It is very kind of your friend and his mom to take you in and help you out but dont stay there for long.

[ashleo78]

First of all.. Welcome back. I wondered when you'd find your way over here.

Secondly. It's time to get your life back on track. I suppose unlike the others I knew about all of this from speaking to you on MSN. That guy has gone now, and as I said at the time, you're seriously better off without him around. Glad you taken the steps to get back to normality and glad you back on here.. Hope I'll see more of you again.

On a lighter note, come play Flyff with me, I haven't been on it for 12 months lol. xxn

[Shadow]

... wow !!

Just ... wow !!

For starters, I am sorry to hear that your relationship with this guy broke-down (the one that turned into the psycho WoW cat-kidnapping housebrokering freak). Relationships wax and wane, and we all have good and bad times, but it's always saddening when what was a good thing takes a turn for the worse, so you do have my sympathies babe ...

Secondly, what a LOUSY string of luck you've had with some of the other MUPPETS you've wound up having to deal with ... it sounds like out of the frying pan into the fire and then into the volcano to me !?!

.

I think that what you need to do is effectively rule-off from what's been I'm sure a very INTERESTING if dismal chapter in your life, and start afresh. You would benefit from having your own space, where you're in control of what happens, who comes and goes, and so on ...

... are you wanting to stay where you are ? Or move back to (sorry, which State was it you're from ?) ? Or ... ?

In the plus column, you do have us to back you up, and we're all (I feel at least) trustworthy peeples who will give you our honest feedback and input into what's going on ...

Welcome back xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[Udabar]

Well I do appreciate all of you and what you have said, BUT... I have some quotes I have to get too...

When you started this relationship you told me on msn your bf is a little immature and then you added that you like it but tbh i start to smell something fishy at this point.

You know how you can deal with something in small amounts and in small doses. Then when it gets to be over whelming and you feel like your ready to throw up so you run to the bathroom. Well in this case I did like it for a bit, because he wasent immature all the time, just certain times. Well once we got into the house it got worst. Way worst. I felt like I was living with a 5 year old that had a job. And you would think that if a 5 year old had a job they would be really mature. But thats not the case. They are still 5. So it just got way to out of hand and there was no bathroom I could run to to get rid of the feeling I was having. I think the only thing that would have solved my feeling was a roll of duck tape and a frying pan.

On a lighter note, come play Flyff with me, I haven't been on it for 12 months lol. xxn

Lol... I have been on and off Flyff lately. I have two friends that play it all the time, I am currently trying to get back on Rappelz but my life has been hecktic. When do you normally get on?

... are you wanting to stay where you are ? Or move back to (sorry, which State was it you're from ?) ? Or ... ?

In the plus column, you do have us to back you up, and we're all (I feel at least) trustworthy peeples who will give you our honest feedback and input into what's going on ...

Well first off I didnt leave the state unfortunatly. If I did I prolly would have just left the country and moved over there with you all so you have to deal with me in person.. LOL.. I am still living in Texas but I just moved 2 hours North of my hometown. Currently I do not want to stay here at my fiends parents house any longer. I think I will be getting my own place at the end of next month. I was supposed to stay here and save up some money and when I had some saved I wa to get my own place. But I cannot save any money due to I have to spend it all in gas to get anywhere.

Second, I know I can trust you all. That is why I can back. I missed being able to talk to you all. And i do cherish your honest opinions too. You know if I had a printer back in the day when I was on here I would have printed out a lot of these threads to keep. But I will just have to dig deep in the forum and I might be able to find then. If not then I will have to kill Andy. Hince why I dont have a lot of posts like I used to. I believe he has been deleting the old posts.

[The Virgin]

no matter what, we're happy to have you back....