Sad, but need to get it off my chest

[GuyOverThere]

I've been dating this wonderful guy just recently. He seemed perfect in so many ways, and we hung out together quite a bit. We hug and kiss often, and he told me how much he liked me...

Unfortunately I had to call it off last night, as I was sick to the back teeth of him talking about nothing but his ex partner. We've had a big fall out, as he doesn't quite understand that stalking your ex's check ins on Facebook and talking about him all the time is a little hurtful.

I'm not the jealous type, but his ex is the only thing he ever talks about. I wanted to get close to him, to understand him, to be a part of his life one day...

He blocked me on WhatsApp last night. He's a lovely person, but it's selfish to date others when you're not completely over someone else. I miss him terribly already, but I guess this is for the best.

That is all. Thanks for reading!

[Virge]

I more or less agreed with and understood everything from you perspective down to the line about it being selfish to date others when you're not completely over someone else.

That's not correct from any angle.
Think about dating people just because they need someone to date and you'll get the idea of unselfish dating.

From what you told about him he's got a long way to go before he can have a healthy relationship with anyone. Don't be upset he blocked you. You hit him upside his face with hard cold reality and it hurt. In the long run you probably helped him -- unselfishly --- by throwing any possible relationship you could've had with him under the bus to make him face reality... But at that moment you weren't doing it to be unselfish. were you?

[JimmyEcho]

Your not his crying towel, Or his therapist.
You had to break it off and you did.
Good for you.

[CellarDweller]

I'm sorry to hear about this, but you did the right thing. He's clearly not over his ex, and you would never be able to compete against that.

[OkayOkay]

You did the right thing.

[50Plus]

Am a life long bachelor, so what do I know, but I agree with you breaking it off. One has to make oneself the priority sometimes.

Not sure why you would be upset that he blocked you. Remember that you were not happy with him always checking out his ex on social media. It does go both ways.

[Wolfpack]

You did the best for yourself and for him. You may hurt bad now, but in time you will be glad you did not try and force the relationship with him when he was not ready.

[ChadCoxRox]

Don't you deserve more and better anyway?

[GuyOverThere]

Well this guy unblocked me earlier and we had a talk about how I'm uncomfortable with being a rebound, or second best, and that perhaps I should look elsewhere. He immediately tried to make himself look like the victim and accused me of being nasty.

I'm not going to lie, I feel incredibly upset today and just don't know what to believe. If only he'd see it from where I'm standing.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

FWIW I think you did the right thing in taking a step back. The fact that he's now unblocked you and reaching out makes me think that he realises what an ass he's been, and perhaps what he has to loose with you. However him playing the "victim" card, is a classic ploy to make you feel like the bad guy in all this.

I think you should keep your distance for a couple of days, maybe you should block him and see how hurtful that can be.

You don't mention how long its been since his breakup, and importantly how long he was with the guy. Its not always easy, or quick, to get over an ex, especially if the relationship has been running for a couple of years. Its possible that he didn't really realise what he was doing. Ive been there, so I kind of know how it works (both as the new guy, and as the dumped guy)

Good Luck,

ObW
X