Is he worth it?

[S1mpl3]

Hi guys,

I need advice from a third party with no personal interest in the issue.

I recently started acting out on my gay side (bisexual). I must say I kinda went overboard the first year. I was on Grindr, Manjam and Craigslist so the sex was constant. I got attached to a few people but wasn't expecting anything off it like a relationship or even any commitment. I was just having fun.

Ultimately, I got tired and since I was not interested in moving any further than just sex, I decided to cool off with being gay for a while to decide what I really want.

After I made this decision, I met this guy. We didn't meet in the way I usually meet guys. We met for a business lunch. I didn't know he was gay until he started hitting on me. I thought he was nice, good-looking, articulate. I must admit I kind of already had a guy-crush on him before we met because he's so young and already very accomplished.

When he started hitting on me, I didn't respond immediately because he's very flirtatious, hits on everyone. Already we had problems with his communication, I had been told even before we had this meeting that he was very busy so I tried not to let it bother me. Sometimes, I would call him and he would just pick up, other times I would ring for ages and he wouldn't answer and not call back. I've also seen him do this to other people when were together. I would make plans with him on the spot and he would be all for it.

On the seventh date, we kissed. Then he had to leave the country. The first two weeks or so, I would message him and he would answer with 'I miss you' and stuff. The communication got less and less frequent. The love talks are almost non-existent now and we talk like acquaintances when we do get to talk. He's stopped liking my posts on Facebook and Instagram. I've asked him if anything is wrong, he sounded surprised that I would even ask.

Is all this a sign? Should I be bothered? I must admit, I really like this guy. He told me communication was a problem he had with his ex as well. Truth though is I don't think he is 100% honest. They were lies he told when we first met but I figured these were lies that he would reveal when he got more comfortable with me but he's decided to stick to them. Should I move on?

[Borg69]

Not knowing him or His side, he does sound very complicated and maybe a bit elusive. The flirting with everyone would bother me. With all his traveling how do you know he doesn't have someone in every port he stops at?

[S1mpl3]

I suspect he does. Because he's quite popular, he tends to drag attention and he likes attention. I've actually gotten some attention since he's been gone but as far as I'm concerned, I'm in a relationship so I have not done anything about it. But is he worth all this?

[JimmyEcho]

O.K. Yeah he sounded surprised because he's not putting as much into this as you are.
He's probably enjoying life and is really into you, but has a very busy complicated schedule.
YEAH, He could be a player, I wouldn't dough that. He probably really likes you, but doesn't dwell into it as much as you do.
Take it how you want. Get clingy with him, and he'll be gone. play it cool and he'll be none the wiser.
It all boils down to how you feel about this relationship---If it doesn't bother you Great,--If it does bother you, get out now.

[Virge]

I try not to give advice on things like this about a guy who's not here to tell his side of the story. I can tell you some things though based on what you've said?

7th date and just getting around to kissing??? Consider the two of you are in your 20's and I assume healthy... there's some that magic missing if you went that long and just got around to kissing.

Facebook, Instagram and all social media are the worst thing to happen for gays dating on the way to a relationship since burning at the stake was used.

[S1mpl3]

O.K. Yeah he sounded surprised because he's not putting as much into this as you are.
He's probably enjoying life and is really into you, but has a very busy complicated schedule.
YEAH, He could be a player, I wouldn't dough that. He probably really likes you, but doesn't dwell into it as much as you do.
Take it how you want. Get clingy with him, and he'll be gone. play it cool and he'll be none the wiser.
It all boils down to how you feel about this relationship---If it doesn't bother you Great,--If it does bother you, get out now.

Here's the thing, I think he could be an awesome friend, maybe a horrible boyfriend. I don't want this to end badly that we can't even be friends anymore. I have suspected that I am the only one here who thinks we're in a relationship but I don't wanna have the conversation with him because I feel he'll run away and then even friendship may be impossible. I know, I'm a nutcase.

[S1mpl3]

I try not to give advice on things like this about a guy who's not here to tell his side of the story. I can tell you some things though based on what you've said?

7th date and just getting around to kissing??? Consider the two of you are in your 20's and I assume healthy... there's some that magic missing if you went that long and just got around to kissing.

Facebook, Instagram and all social media are the worst thing to happen for gays dating on the way to a relationship since burning at the stake was used.

That was when I admitted that I liked him as well.

[JimmyEcho]

Here's the thing, I think he could be an awesome friend, maybe a horrible boyfriend. I don't want this to end badly that we can't even be friends anymore. I have suspected that I am the only one here who thinks we're in a relationship but I don't wanna have the conversation with him because I feel he'll run away and then even friendship may be impossible. I know, I'm a nutcase.

Your not a nut case. Just a Guy with a crush and that's o.k.
It's so hard to deal with these feelings without scaring him off. But I'm sorry man, you have to get things under control. I know it's hard, but maybe this is a good learning experience. I'm sure most of us here at Gay Speak went through the same situation at one time. We know the pain.
Good Luck.

[S1mpl3]

Your not a nut case. Just a Guy with a crush and that's o.k.
It's so hard to deal with these feelings without scaring him off. But I'm sorry man, you have to get things under control. I know it's hard, but maybe this is a good learning experience. I'm sure most of us here at Gay Speak went through the same situation at one time. We know the pain.
Good Luck.

Things are getting clearer now. Apparently, he met a girl and is in love with said girl. I can't say I am completely happy but I am somewhat happy for him. Now the moving on part...

[Anocxu]

Slash his tires!!
All.of them!...

That's one way to send a message. .. ' I am moving on and you are stuck " ... Sucker!!!