In love?

[TwisttheLeaf]

On the one hand I want to see him all the time, hang out with him, do things with him, have fun, etc. On the other hand I feel like I want to break up with him. It's a really strong feeling, and I don't know why I feel that way.

Falling in love is scary as fuck. I was terrified and I tried to wiggle my way out of it in a number of different ways including dragging my feet and outright running.

It changes your life. It changes your perspectives. Hell, it changes -everything-.
It makes you vulnerable and opens you up to being hurt. Emotionally hurt on a crippling level.

Has anyone else every felt that way? Like you love the person and yet you want to break up with them at the same time? What should I do? Should I talk to him about how I am feeling, and how should I do it?

I have attempted to break up with Gideon..... oh... five times? Six times?

Gideon and I have a very happy, healthy relationship. In the first year of the relationship, it was my fear of love and being vulnerable that caused this to happen. I wanted to run. I was terrified of what I was feeling and the changes that were taking place in my life and emotions caused by the love developing and cementing between myself and Gideon.

I -also- have a very strong self-destruction tendency. A recurring NEED to self destruct. I have tried to break up with Gideon because "he deserves better". Because "he doesn't need to go through this shit" when I'm in emotional upheaval. Because "I don't deserve him" and because "He loves me more than I love him". There's a huge list.... of reasons why.

But in the end? The reason why is simple. I love him. The vulnerability that causes, even after being with him for six years, is sometimes overwhelming. Frightening.

It's still worth it, though.

So what should you do? You should talk to him about how you feel about him, and about how it makes you feel vulnerable and scared. And if you really -love- him, work trough those feelings with him and hold on tight.

[AdamAndWill]

(Adam) Sometimes, you just need to take a leap of faith. From what I hear you saying, it feels good. It feels right. Go with your gut.

When you love someone, you're handing them the power to hurt you. And, inevitably, sooner or later they will in one way or another. And you'll hurt them. But if you can build on that pain together, it makes you stronger as a couple.

There;' this old CW song by Garth Brooks called The Dance, and it's about how, looking back on a romance, he's glad he didn't know in advance how it would end, because then he might have avoided it altogether - and he says, I might have missed the pain, but I'd have missed the dance --- painful or not, it was worth it. And it is.

[jama1423]

I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who posted here….you helped me talk to my guy!

I just had a really special night with him, surprised him with flowers, told him how I felt, and he said he felt the same!

It was a really romantic night….and he was completely surprised by me!

Thank you for giving me the courage to say how I felt! <3!

[dynamodean]

I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who posted here….you helped me talk to my guy!

I just had a really special night with him, surprised him with flowers, told him how I felt, and he said he felt the same!

It was a really romantic night….and he was completely surprised by me!

Thank you for giving me the courage to say how I felt! <3!

Thank you for sharing this wonderful news! It was worth it.

[Anocxu]

Why are you dating if you are not prepared to fall in love...?