Hero complex urges......
People who develop an attraction to others based on the need to "fix" them. Or "fix" their lives. Or "fix" their situation. They feel the need to be the other person's hero and resolve all their problems for them.
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I'm the one that has the worst emotional state, and that, more times out of ten, would be the one getting "resuced" or "fixed" so it Might be that to some extent, and I admit, I am attracted to guys that need "Fixed" but I've always liked him even before the problem with his wife, and I have no urge to fix his Schitzophrenia and Multiple personality Disorder, he litterally would go cray and or kill himself if they where fixed, he says so himself, they've been with him so long, he'd be terribly, undescribably lonely without them
and I can't fix his inability to walk, no one can, and I don't think I'd want to try if I could, because I tend to make things worse
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part of the reason I lam attracted to him may be that he has some of the same interests as I do, and some of the same (A lot of the same, actually) Fetishes I do, He is also really smart, kind (Even when we are fighting, he tends to be kind) and sweet
not to meantion he is helping me in my attempt to move to the country I wish to move to
I owe him my life a couple times over, too, he has talked me out of suicide more than a few times (though I have done the same for him)
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I reiterate. Neither of you sound emotionally or mentally stable enough to be considering a relationship. Just my opinion, of course. But with the suicidal urges you've been having, it would be beneficial (maybe to -both- of you) for you to look into getting some counseling.
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Ok, well, I'm confused about all of this as you've presented it. I'm not even sure what you want from us?
You present yourself and this other fellow as being emotionally unbalanced.
My advice is to work on yourself before trying to 'fix' or build a relationship with anyone else.
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I myself get worse problems when I talk to councellors, and he's been a lot better this ladt month, only having meantioned death in that he could die with a surgery he's having (the fear of losing him is part of the reason I started this post, I've been needing to ask this question a long time, but I've always held back, fear was the motivator here) and he Has seen concelors, but that didn't help him too much, but he has kept his job (A bartender or a helper at a bar, but I don't ask about work since he hates his boss) so I figure he doesn't have to bad a problem with the other things, His depression issues are stemming from the dath of his wife (19 and married, I mean, they'd been dating for a few years, but still, they had more nerve than I did, or I'd be livving happily married.. well.. possibly) and the fact he has few friends, and fewer still that actually have much time to visit him
My depression problems probably just run in the family.... and If I had my anxiety medicine I'd be doing better
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and half of my emotional problems are Abandonment issues and fear of messing up, a great fear of screwing up... which is why I tend to try to hard, and then end up getting depressed and such
oh, I have other problems, but most of them are self hatred issues... which he has too, come to think of it
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Regardless of the reasons.... whether they run in the family or are abandonment issues, etc. Whatever they are.
You need to work on yourself before considering fixing anything with someone else or starting a relationship. My opinion stands, yeah? You need to get yourself in some counseling. Not just to identify the issues (which you are clearly working overtime on by yourself) but to learn how to both deal with those issues as well as learn the coping skills needed to overcome them (or balance them out, at the very least).
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I know how to cope with a lot of them (The meds I had helped a lot of the ones that where really bad, like a fear of getting close to people, which I've basically conqure, but I dont have money to see my doctor, so I can't get refils)
Right now, the Abbandonment issues are the one thing i reall have no coping mechanism for
If anyone has an Idea, I'd be appreciative
Also, stop saying fix *thin lipped, almost smiling, glare* I don't want to fix this guy, and most of the guys that show interest are not broken (unless thsis last guy to flirt with me, who had a girlfriend and still wanted to get with me, and has his profile as saying gay male in monogomous gay relationship, counts as screwed up... and he isn't one I want to give my time to fixing)
the depression is mostly from being stuck with my mom, step dad, and sister, all whom I detest as being near as much as I love them, as well s previously meantioned Abandonment issues
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Anonymous Wrote:Right now, the Abandonment issues are the one thing i reall have no coping mechanism for
If anyone has an Idea, I'd be appreciative
the depression is mostly from being stuck with my mom, step dad, and sister, all whom I detest as being near as much as I love them, as well s previously mentioned Abandonment issues
Again (and for the last time in this thread, promise). COUNSELOR. THERAPIST. These can help even -without- meds involved in the equation. Sometimes -more- than meds ever could.
Most communities have mental health outreach programs which are either free or based on a pro-rated scale based on one's income. Seriously. You want help with these issues? This is your best bet.
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