Finding someone.

[AeolianRage]

Alright guys, I need advice. I am 26 and would really like to find a boyfriend before I'm 30. I've been out for 8 years now. I live in Tampa which has a decent sized gay community. However, I feel like everyone is fishing in the ocean and I'm in a well.

I've tried going to gay bars - not a great experience, don't have the look for the gag clubs, and tried online. Am I missing something? I refuse to believe that I'm so unattractive that everyone is repulsed by me.

I've heard how young I am and that it'll happen when it happens. If young teens can find someone to date why can't I. I'm not looking for a 10, or Mr. Right or Prince Charming.

[CellarDweller]

Try to find an activity you like with 'gay' in it, and you may find someone who enjoys what you enjoy.

I did a google search on "Gay Bowling" and found a league that bowls about 10 minutes from me. I've dated two of the guys on the league.

It could be anything.... gay hiking, gay softball, gay anything.

[Jake]

I'm not looking for a 10, or Mr. Right or Prince Charming.

Good you're not looking for them because they do not exist. As CellarD said, get more involved in the gay community, nowadays people looking for love in a gay bar might as well put an I"M DESPERATE SIGN on their front head and walk naked among them.

Go around more with other gays, do activities with them and be patient I could take 2 months or less or 4 years and more, but in between, you'll have new friends, a lot of fun and you'll even forget that you'll actually turn 30 years old

[50Plus]

could take 2 months or less or 4 years and more, but in between, you'll have new friends, a lot of fun and you'll even forget that you'll actually turn 30 years old

Start with meeting new people and having more fun. Romance has a strange way of racing up and biting you on the left kneecap when you least expect it to.

But I do hear your struggles. I face them too, but realize that I am part of my problem.

[Iceblink]

Gays always seem to limit themselves to bars and online for looking for love. Some are successful that way, and straight people use those same things, but there is a reason why straight people are much more successful at it than we are- they live their lives out. Yeah I know they didn't come out of the closet, but they also do not hide who they are from friends, coworkers, acquaintances. For example, if a hot guy delivers the water cooler bottle to the office, a straight woman doesn't worry about making a comment when he leaves for fear it will out her as a heterosexual.

So while having a social life and being involved in activities can help a lot, living openly and honestly increases your chances of meeting someone simply by living your regular day to day life. So go out and be social in many different ways, but don't let yourself miss out on the possibility that there might be a friend, neighbor, coworker, or someone else you see regularly in your life that just might know that person they think would be perfect for you. Most straight people end up meeting that someone special in his life not in the places he went out looking for a date, but just by chance the person that happened to cross his path somewhere in life.