I am a bit confused on what I should do

[ETOTE]

ok, wow.

Where to start.....questions:

1. The tissue in his brain that is causing him to lose the voices in his head from his mental disorder, is this tissue like a lesion? or a tumor? Is this tissue in his brain life-threatening? if he does not have this removed, will he die?

2. is the sole reason he is having this surgery so he can get the voices back?

3. why will he be gone for 4-6 months after the surgery?

4. if he does not want to get better from his mental disorders as you have stated and you are unwilling to sort out your priorities and seek the professional help you need from a competent mental health professional, what help are you looking for from us? what help are you looking for period?

Do you really understand what schizophrenia is, what those voices are and where they come from? If you do know and if he fully understands and knows, then this discussion is beyond disturbing and rather quite terrifying since it is extremely bizarre and frightening for someone who is diagnosed as schizophrenic to willingly want the voices to come back merely to combat loneliness, knowing full well what those voices are and where they come from.

What is it that you want to do and why are you confused about it?

At this point, the only thing I can suggest is for you both to seek professional help now.

[Humeinator2]

Etote, his voices are the only reason he hadn't commited suicide, and THAT is why he want's them back, and some veteran fund, not sure exactly what he called it, is being used for it, and that is the Government paying, so it MUST be life threatening
and again, HE has had, many times throughout his life, professional help, and I would be getting it, if I had money, and a way to go anywhere that would have someone to talk to, but I would have to walk, and I am not going to walk HOURS to the nearest city that would have someone I could see free, just to have my parents kick me out for secrets, and I am NOT telling them I have problems, because they'll either think I'm lieing, or they will try to get me to tell them my problems first
of which the only one I don't have under control (other than Aspergers, but had I the money, I'd have my meds, and then it would be controled) is my hatred at them causeing me great depression, and then my abandonment issues to some extent

[meridannight]

4. if he does not want to get better from his mental disorders as you have stated and you are unwilling to sort out your priorities and seek the professional help you need from a competent mental health professional, what help are you looking for from us? what help are you looking for period?

Do you really understand what schizophrenia is, what those voices are and where they come from? If you do know and if he fully understands and knows, then this discussion is beyond disturbing and rather quite terrifying since it is extremely bizarre and frightening for someone who is diagnosed as schizophrenic to willingly want the voices to come back merely to combat loneliness, knowing full well what those voices are and where they come from.

i don't think schizophrenics really understand the voices/hallucinations they have. that's why it's called a mental disorder.

and the exact reason doesn't really matter why he decided to have the surgery (if he even is capable of making a sane decision). the medical professionals obviously saw a huge health risk, otherwise they wouldn't be cutting his brain open. depending on the area where the problematic tissue (yeah, i'm guessing a lesion/tumor as well) is, removing it should more or less restore the area to how it was before. so he might be back the way he was, which, yeah, isn't a good thing, but it's better than having a brain tumor for example. the doctors probably informed him that as the result of the surgery the voices/hallucinations might come back, and that is a very likely outcome if the procedure is a success without any major complications, and so that's what he's hoping for. which goes to show he is not fully mentally sane. but it's not like there is a better option. schizophrenia isn't curable. it's only manageable.

i originally read the first post as if he wanted to remove the voices, and i thought he sounded really healthy. unfortunately i read that wrong. i agree with you that it is disturbing to want the voices back, but it's not like a person with a mental disorder will understand that. it is a bit more disturbing that the OP wants his friend to have the voices back though....

[Humeinator2]

hee knows fully fucking well what this is abouit, and if it wasn't for the fact that the him as everyone knows him is only that way BECAUSE of the voices, and the fact he is still alive, after being in the Canadian airforce for two years AND seeing action, is because of his friends there, and those voices, he has friends and family which talk to them (as I've said, he has MPD that goes hand in hand with the schitzophrenia) and when they are in control, they are just as human and normal as any human, and he is completly SANE, and has proven it to doctors and family and friends (his wife told me one time that she has to THANK those voices for helping shape such a good man).
not everyone with a disored is exactly the same, and you ALL seem to think that ALL schitzophrenics are insane or unable to do things, I am sure his schitzophrenia is not one of the Extream cases from what I've seen, and he knows more about the disorder than SOME psychiatrists and doctors I know.
now, can you NOT question his sanity?

[Humeinator2]

and as to my comment on people with disorders not all being the same, I am a person with Aspergers, and am higher functioning than a lot of them, and thus, I have a LOT less trouble with some things than someone with lower functioning aspergers
if you give me something to do with aspergers, like the typical Autisim thing of getting extreamly obssessed with one thing, and I can more than likely say it is not nearly as bad in me as some others
though I obviously get obssessed with things, but my obsessions change often....
I might have ADHD or ADD now that I think of it...
I need to get checked again

[Humeinator2]

I may have seemed assholish in those last posts, but I take SERIOUS offence when people say things that make me feel like they assume all people with dissabilities, disorders, etc. are the same, people seem to atomatically think I'm going to be violent when I'm mad just because I have auspergers
I'm not, actually, I'm more violent when I'm playing, unless you say something incredibly stupid around me, then prepare for a Gibs slap :/
they also tend to think I learn slowly or something because of aspergers.
No, I don't learn slowly, I simply lack the ability to put what I learn to use in some rare instances

[meridannight]

hee knows fully fucking well what this is abouit, and if it wasn't for the fact that the him as everyone knows him is only that way BECAUSE of the voices, and the fact he is still alive, after being in the Canadian airforce for two years AND seeing action, is because of his friends there, and those voices, he has friends and family which talk to them (as I've said, he has MPD that goes hand in hand with the schitzophrenia) and when they are in control, they are just as human and normal as any human, and he is completly SANE, and has proven it to doctors and family and friends (his wife told me one time that she has to THANK those voices for helping shape such a good man).
not everyone with a disored is exactly the same, and you ALL seem to think that ALL schitzophrenics are insane or unable to do things, I am sure his schitzophrenia is not one of the Extream cases from what I've seen, and he knows more about the disorder than SOME psychiatrists and doctors I know.
now, can you NOT question his sanity?

i know my post was harsh. and i did not mean to imply he was insane. i am aware different individuals cope differently with the same disease. and he might be better than most guys with the same illness.

however, that doesn't make it sane. i stand by my point on that. the personalities, voices, those things might be human in their character, the way you put it, but actually wanting the voices, wanting the multiple personalities in and of itself, it's not sane. i am saying this as a guy who has never formed an emotional connection to another person with said diseases. true, i don't know it all, but i am finding it explicitly difficult to qualify such desires and such motivation in life as belonging to a fully mentally sane person. take an average person from the street who is healthy and ask them if they'd like to be schizophrenic. the sane answer is ''no''.

PS. i do not mean to be upsetting. i understand you are going through a difficult time due to your friend's health and hopefully things will work out for him and you.

[ETOTE]

So now you are diagnosing yourself as possibly having ADHD rather than Asperber's?
Have you actually been to a doctor who has actually diagnosed you with anything or are you just reading stuff on the internet and self diagnosing?

To give you some perspective on where I am coming from so you understand I am not just talking out of my ass and you can quit being stubborn and arrogant about all this and quit trying to use a disability as an excuse for why you can't do something....

As I have mentioned on this board and specifically to you before, my brother in law has Asperber's.
He has his own business, is an awesome husband to my sister and a great father to my 4 year old niece. He loves his family, takes care of them, he is a gifted musician and skilled craftsman and is an active member in his community doing volunteer work, helps the neighbors out. He is a good old fashioned boy scout type who is self sacrificing and would give you the shirt off his back and quite literally has many times. What you will not find him doing is wallowing in self pity using his Asperger's as an excuse to not accomplish something.

I was diagnosed with PTSD as a result of suffering from years of extreme molestation, physical, emotional, verbal, sexual and Satanic ritual abuse at the hands of my psychotic, fucked up parents. After my parents divorced and my father was charged with child abuse, rape and molestation, I became suicidal, self destructive and was eventually arrested for armed robbery. The only thing saving me from juvenile detention and eventually being transferred to prison once I became of age was a good friend of the family who just happened to be a psychotherapist. He lied to the judge under oath in court to keep me out of lock up. I was under suicide watch, put on probation with court mandated weekly therapy sessions until I turned 18. I spent 15 years (7 of which were court ordered) doing intense psychotherapy, dealing with all the crap I went through as a kid, facing and reliving horrific, painful traumatic memories. I was also diagnosed with ADHD. My nephew was also diagnosed with ADHD.

My uncle was diagnosed with schizophrenia and my mother was diagnosed with MPD. Another term term for it now is DID (dissociative identity disorder). It is also referred to as MPS (multiple personality syndrome). My mother has over 100 personalities and I had to live with, witness and endure true terror at the hands of some her insane personalities who quite literally claimed to be demonic entities. MPD and schizophrenia do not go hand in hand. Schizophrenia is a chemical imbalance in the brain that you are born with. MPD is a personality disorder used as a coping mechanism that develops as a result of experiencing severe emotional trauma.

Again, the reason in giving you all this background is to show you that I am not talking out of my ass, that I do have plenty of experience in dealing will all these issues that you are dealing with, I know a thing or two about psychological issues, suicide, mental disorders and the very real, positive results from proper, intense therapy with a competent psychotherapist (note they are different than a psychiatrist and psychologist).

You can use whatever excuse you want, but the fact still remains, if you truly want help like you say you do, then both you and your friend need to be in genuine, intense therapy. Also, any therapy you do will only be as effective as you make it. You have to be willing to actively participate to allow any positive change to occur and to facilitate emotional healing. It is very intense and incredibly difficult, it is not a walk in the park. It takes a strong effort on your part to want to deal with your issues, it takes commitment and often takes years to work through.

It is very sad about your friend and him facing high risk brain surgery that could change him if it doesn't kill him. However, aside from being there through Skype, text or phone, there is not much else you can do for him right now other than pray and keep him in your thoughts.

What you need to do RIGHT NOW is sort out YOUR life and priorities.
You are an adult, who needs a better paying job, a driver's license, a car and a good therapist.

Even though you don't like your family, your family is wanting and willing to help you and since you are not willing to help yourself, you may want to let your family help you, please accept the help you get, wherever you get it.

If you cannot do any of these things and instead, insist on giving excuses, wallowing in your own self pity and huge emotional and psychological mess, there is nothing anyone can say that will give you any kind of peace of mind regarding any issues until you take steps to get REAL help. As I've mentioned before, it is one big hamster wheel.

Do you enjoy being a hamster? I hear the food sucks.

[Humeinator2]

I thought I made it clear hHE HAS GOTTEN HELP MANY TIMES, I on the other hand, hae no good excuses, though I assure you, my family would have me in a padded room, or would shrug it off as me being delusional or lieing to myself, I did that a lot as a kid, to cope with my family.
I have gotten help before too, when I was little,
And I was diagnosed with so many things BEFORE a COMPETENT doctor.whatever the technical word for them is diagnosed me with aspergers and major social anxiety
I say I may have ADHD because I tend to have the attention span of a goldfish, and some hyperactivity problems, though those are really rare anymore
unless I get to talk about my favorite subjects
Like Anime and food
anyway, the one between me nad my friend that needs the MOST help is me
should the opportunity knock at my door, I WILL get help
so far, no knocks
plus my parents are not going to use the 1 day my dad gets off after he works for nine as a prison gaurd to take me to a shrink that we can't afford, or a free one.

[ETOTE]

I thought I made it clear hHE HAS GOTTEN HELP MANY TIMES,.

Yes you keep saying that. You also keep saying that he doesn't want the help because he doesn't want to change.

What's the point in seeing a therapist if you don't want help and don't want to change?
You can sit there and talk all day every day to a therapist but unless you actively participate in working with that therapist through the crap, nothing will happen and it will not work.

It has nothing to do with "I tried therapy and it didn't work", but it has everything to do with making a concerted effort on your part so the therapy is effective and will work.

And this the last time I'm going to say this to you.
YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE not to make an effort.

I grew up poor, my family were homeless at one point.
I found ways to ensure I continued getting the help I needed, otherwise I would have been dead a long time ago.

I also do not take any medication for anything, never have and I never will.
I am absolutely against psychotropic meds for many reasons I will not get into here.

I will do what I can to help you if you want, as far as giving you resources, contacts, guidance and direction to get your shit together, get your priorities sorted and get yourself out of that small town bubble you are living in and eventually away from your family if they are as crazy as you say. None of it will matter however if you are not willing to put forth the effort to effect the needed change in your life. You live TX, 4 hours from Dallas, you're not living in a cave. You seem to be quite comfortable living in your little rut.