Never fell in love with a guy before

[AngryPoem]

... man I feel like I'm in the same situation as you. I just keep it or try to keep it at a friend level. It seems like you guys are really close, maybe you can tell him what you just posted, its harder than it sounds. Welcome to the forums

We are really not that close but we have this connection that I can't explain. It's really weird because he doesn't like to make friends. He said that he trust no one and all of a sudden he does the things that I wrote.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

very quiet and I just saw from his eyes that he went trough alot.

And there it is.

Folks who have gone through a lot tend to have a different slant on life. We also tend to deny ourselves a good deal more than average people. We do not allow ourselves to do simple things like fall in love, share our lives, share our woes....

Whilst he may love you, he mayn't be able to express it fully and deeply. You will have to reach a little deeper in yourself to find understanding that this is a can't sort of thing, not an unwillingness - an inability.

So he gets annoyed at the hugs... Understand that there was a time when he most likely needed one and no one gave him one - now he is loath to admit he wants one. Immediate reaction is to feign annoyance, when deep inside is gratitude. Its self defense, not true annoyance - but fear that when he seeks the hugs he won't get them (again?).

Without knowing the exact nature of what he went through, no one can predict how he will act/react to given situations.

However. From what you wrote it seems like he does care, he does have feelings. Yet, due to whatever is there that he carries inside of him, he most likely will not respond quite as you may imagine or hope.

Still, he is trying. I suggest less texting and more conversation - face to face where you can catch the fleeting facial expressions and read his body language. This way you can get to know the real person, not the mask that texting can easily become.

Trust me, one can write hella lies and everyone believes, its difficult to lie face to face, when your whole body tells its truths.

[AngryPoem]

And there it is.

Folks who have gone through a lot tend to have a different slant on life. We also tend to deny ourselves a good deal more than average people. We do not allow ourselves to do simple things like fall in love, share our lives, share our woes....

Whilst he may love you, he mayn't be able to express it fully and deeply. You will have to reach a little deeper in yourself to find understanding that this is a can't sort of thing, not an unwillingness - an inability.

So he gets annoyed at the hugs... Understand that there was a time when he most likely needed one and no one gave him one - now he is loath to admit he wants one. Immediate reaction is to feign annoyance, when deep inside is gratitude. Its self defense, not true annoyance - but fear that when he seeks the hugs he won't get them (again?).

Without knowing the exact nature of what he went through, no one can predict how he will act/react to given situations.

However. From what you wrote it seems like he does care, he does have feelings. Yet, due to whatever is there that he carries inside of him, he most likely will not respond quite as you may imagine or hope.

Still, he is trying. I suggest less texting and more conversation - face to face where you can catch the fleeting facial expressions and read his body language. This way you can get to know the real person, not the mask that texting can easily become.

Trust me, one can write hella lies and everyone believes, its difficult to lie face to face, when your whole body tells its truths.

That's actually really true what you wrote and I thank you. He doesn't really like to express his feelings. When he show some emotion he quickly turns cold again. It's like he doesn't want to be weak again. I always try to break into his world where he can tell anything (his fears, his past,...) but he won't let me. One time he did and it was a very fast conversation. He told me that he grew up without emotions because he got in big problems. But why does he care about me then? Why does he always send me? This is really making me confused...

[matty7]

sound like you have fallen for this guy - is it love ? your description is as good as anyone else's definition of love as far as I can see - as for his emotions as been sometimes cold or distant , not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve for all to see, doesn't mean he isn't mad about you too - he just shows it differently and that's sweet too - good luck anyway

[ETOTE]

Just enjoy your time with him.
Do things together. Sounds like you two could use a little comic relief.
Maybe take him to a movie...a comedy and just have a good laugh together, make time with him fun.
The more you do that, the more he will associate fun and relaxation with you, will give him some wiggle room to loosen up around you, increasing his comfort level with you.

One thing to consider since I can somewhat identify with your friend, once he has reached that certain comfort level with you to let his guard down, he will probably be very intensely passionate...something to look forward to.

[Humeinator2]

Listen to Etote, He's smart, as are all of them here
but in this case, I mean he's smart as in he has knowledge of it, like Bowyn and others
I however, am not very knowledgable enough to help much
I'm not good with showing my emotions correctly myself
Is why I may seem rude on here (I appologise all of you, and you know who you are)