More out of Life

[AeolianRage]

So I've done some internal reflection. I've never been in a relationship and now I'm going to stop trying to make it happen. I want to get as much out of this life as I can.

I'm working on my Masters but I don't want that to be the only thing I get out of life. Love isn't going to happen. The possibility of children is zero. However, I want to get as much out if life as I can.

I was just hoping to get some ideas to fill my personal time.

Thanks.

[TwisttheLeaf]

You need to do a bit of experimenting. Getting more of of your life, and finding what makes you happy takes time. Eradicating those things that -don't- make you happy also takes time, and can take some thinking outside the box and implementing unorthodox solutions. BUT, it can be worth it.

For example.... one of the things I hated MOST in life was allowing others to have absolute power and authority over me. Working a full time job that I -depend on- for my livelihood, my home, happiness, etc? This puts all of those things that depend on that job in another's hands aside from my own. If I then dislike this person, distrust this person... how is that healthy for my life or my stress levels?

I resolved this issue by working a number of part-time jobs instead. When I lose a job, which occasionally happens, I have others to help sustain me while I find another one.

I have a good education, excellent references. There is -no doubt- that even in this economy I could find a very good, well paying job with a salary. But I'm -happier- owning my life as I do, rather than allowing another to have that power over me.

As far as filling your time goes. You need to find things you enjoy. And not just sedentary things, but things that also keep you active and give you exposure to others. Nurture friendships, pick up a couple hobbies that inspire your curiosity to learn, etc. Decide to become an expert at something obscure and unusual. Whatever will float your boat man.

[Steve]

I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say. I am ...not... going to say it.

Oh f*ck it.

AR you may find love and you might have children. You don't have them now. But you might eventually have both of those things if you work hard enough in your life to achieve those goals. I wouldn't have said it except you sort of sounded a little fatalistic about your future. The one thing I'm sure about in life is that it rarely turns out like you planned.

So, ideas for what you could do? In your profile you list no interests. Why is that? Nothing interests you? I can't believe you don't have a favorite thing to do, watch, or place to be. Those are starting points in discovering what you might want to do.

Do you like animals? There are plenty of rewarding ways to get involved in animal rescue, the humane society, even walking dogs.

Do you like music? Singing? Sign up for guitar lessons. Join one of the many community choirs that have sprung up since the advent of Glee. Choirs are a great place to meet people because you're meeting several times a week with a large, diverse group of people.

Interested in politics? Joan Crawford knows that there are a plethora of ways to get involved in a belief you can lobby for or against.

What about (not to sound stereotypical) theatre? Even if you don't want to be onstage there are many behind the scene jobs a production needs to be successful. Community theatre is a great place to meet people.

Find what you enjoy doing and then find a way to help facilitate that enjoyment.

[ETOTE]

Do you have any hobbies?
Do you play a sport or are you physically active?

Doing just those two things can drastically change your outlook and vastly improve your mindset to be more positive and optimistic.

[Borg69]

You're trying too hard. Life and relationships are fluid and spontaneous - not something you can manipulate and micromanage. It's odds and chances... a numbers game. There also aren't any short cuts. Go meet, and get to know 5 0 people. Be open, and listen. Think about what you can give to a relationship instead of worrying about what you'll get out of it. Be willing to get hurt, and rejected.

Stay optimistic.

[AeolianRage]

Be willing to get hurt, and rejected.

Stay optimistic.

Borg, there in lies a big part of the problem. I've been hurt enough and I really don't want to be hurt again.

My big plan is to finish school so that I can help others. I just want to find some new activities that I can enjoy and use to fill time. My goal is that once I'm licensed, I can focus on my physical appearance and use these other activities to balance out the stress.

[ETOTE]

^why wait for the license?

one thing that I've found that works for me, as I've had many periods in my life where I was faced with incredible stress, pressure and time constraints both in HS, college and life, the job; is to make time for myself with something physical that can improve your health, relieve stress and ease your busy mind. Even if I had to get up at 3-4am to do it. Usually it would just be a jog, some stretching, meditation, even a really good edging session can work out that stress and tension, help focus your mind. You are better able to handle the hurdles life will throw at you, roll with the punches and handle difficulties with a more clear, calm head.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Do more? Be more? More meaningful life? More...

Sorry you can't get more from life.

let me explain.

You like everyone else starts of each day with approximately 24 hours ( I personally get 25, but that is due to my half elf heritage :tongue.

You are already spending your time. If its hoping from Cat-picture site to cat picture site that that is what you are doing. Understand even 'wasting' your time looking at cat pictures is doing something for you, its fulfilling in its own way. So clearly you need it.

Understand that if you want to get more from life that ain't going to happen, you will have to decide to give up Cat Pictures and do something else with that time.

So what in your life are you willing to give up in order to do this 'more' thing?

That is the real question you need to ask yourself.

[Iceblink]

So I've done some internal reflection. I've never been in a relationship and now I'm going to stop trying to make it happen. I want to get as much out of this life as I can.

I'm working on my Masters but I don't want that to be the only thing I get out of life. Love isn't going to happen. The possibility of children is zero. However, I want to get as much out if life as I can.

I was just hoping to get some ideas to fill my personal time.

Thanks.

Some could look at this as a newfound optimistic outlook on life, but that is not all what it is because it is wrapped in negativity and defeat. You haven't made that many posts here, but from the few you have, negativity seems to be a characteristic that hangs over you. It is one thing to have it here because we don't have that much personal stake in it and can easily choose to ignore it if we wish, but for the people you are around in real life, it is something that sooner or later becomes too tiring. Also, don't block out the possibility of finding love. Always be open to it, just don't look so hard for it as it comes off looking desperate. Nearly every one of us here that are in committed relationships had a long road of rejection and hurt before we got there. You say you've never been in a relationship, but then you later say you've been hurt enough. Let me tell you something, until you've actually been in a relationship, invested a considerable amount of the time in your life to it, had an idea it was going somewhere and to then have something happen to have it all crashing down, you really do not know what hurt is in the love and romance department. Most people today experience at least one or two of those and maybe more before finding the right person. You're 26 and act as if it is all over in hopes of finding anyone. Same-sex relationships are much more difficult to find in this world, but for those heterosexuals that have it so much easier to find someone and so much more choice, the average age of first marriage has reached nearly 30, so as a gay man, you're on average probably not even close yet.

It is difficult for others to tell you what you can do to fill your time because we do not really know your interests. Think of what interests you and google it for your area. But whatever you find and as you meet people in these endeavors, leave that pessimism behind. Just say, "I want to start living life," not "I want to start living life because I'm so damn unlucky and miserable when it comes to love."

[50Plus]

^^^^^^^^^^^^
What IceBlink said.

From what I read, I would suggest that the first thing to get out of life, is to get the negativity out of your life. Likely a lot of life is going to not happen.

First step - open your flippin eyes. You have more going for you than 75% of the world's population.

Second step - is up to you. See sources of positive reinforcement. They exist. They are everywhere. You don't even need to look hard for them. But you do need to adjust the attitude in order to see them.

What can you do with your personal time? Um, what can't you do?

big step - either leave GS totally and go meet real people. Right now every post you are ready are merely characters on the screen. Are there real people behind any of this or is it just Andy-bots?

Check out some other sites for insight:
Leo Babusta's Zen Habits is awesome (http://zenhabits.net/
So are Joshua and Ryan - aka the Minimalists (http://www.theminimalists.com/
And for something a tad different, check out Chris (http://chrisguillebeau.com/)


And to reinforce any of the above, IT IS YOUR LIFE - THERE IS NOTHING THAT YOU CANNOT DO. Now be a good grasshopper and go do it.