Bad treatment from people within the gay community

[excalibur77]

I'm not sure if any of you have experienced and/or witnessed this sort of thing, but I'd like to hear your thoughts anyway.

What do you guys think of gay people judging other gay people? On YouTube, I've seen some videos of gay men claiming that there's "no such thing as a masculine gay man, because all of us like penis, and if you're a bottom, then trust me girl, you're a queen." I'm paraphrasing, but that's the gist of some of the arguments I've heard. Masculinity is something to describe the way someone carries themselves, isn't it? So how is it related to liking penis? And why are these people affirming the notion that if you receive, you're "the woman"? Even lesbians don't like it when you ask them "who is the man and who is the woman." Gay people are a diverse group of people, as far as I'm aware.

Also, on the topic of bisexuality, I've seen a lot of gay people insist that "there's no such thing because they're only kidding themselves." It's a head-scratcher, because "LGBT" stands for "Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans", yet some of the very people who belong in that same community refuse to believe that there IS such a thing as a bisexual person? Additionally, some of the very people who are fighting for acceptance are refusing to accept others' bisexuality? I really don't understand this.

Finally, what about those gay people who pressure other closeted gays (or just suspected of being gay without proof) into coming out of the closet in the form of teasing, "shading," and whatnot? This usually happens when the out gay people are in a group. I saw this happen in high school: Some gay guys were teasing this one kid who had a minor case of legit mental retardation, that he's supposedly gay. They made him cry and everything. I personally don't think he was. But what's with the thinking? What made them do what they did? In the US, most gay kids would get bullied, but in my country, the out gay kids actually had more power (at least in my experience).

[Wade]

I think gay people inherently have two moments of shocking realization in their lives: The first is the moment when you realize you're gay, the second is the moment you realize that other gay people are just as likely to be stupid fucking assholes as anyone else. All three scenarios you mentioned are made all the worse, and more baffling, because they're coming from people who should have the most capability for empathy concerning those particular topics.... I don't get it either.

[MikeW]

Study psychology and learn about defense mechanisms. Just because people are gay doesn't mean they aren't defensive about it, which often includes becoming offensive (and not accepting) of others. It sucks but it seems to be part of the gay 'scene'. Don't feel you have to conform to those attitudes (and that is what they are, "attitudes"). You don't.

[East]

Gay people will discriminate against other gay people sometimes worse than any straight person will.

Oppressed groups in society will oppress each other....it is a sociological phenomenon....

I could elaborate at length but I don't have time at the moment...

[Borg69]

Unfortunately it's still a "dog eat dog" world out there, and all the bonobo's are trying to figure out their place in the pecking order, and where they stand in the food chain. It's also unfortunate that in trying to find out where they are, they often step on others to try and get a (self perceived) higher stance.

It's a sad fact that for many, the only way to build themselves up is by putting others down.

[excalibur77]

This being a form of defense mechanism is understandable if the culprits are young, which I guess makes sense in the 3rd case in my original post.

If they're in their 20's and up though (which is the age of the YouTubers I talked about), one would think that they've matured enough having been exposed to this kind of nonacceptance that they'd know better than to subject others to the very thing they hate.

This just occurred to me. Maybe this "bisexuals are kidding themselves" and "there's no such thing as a masculine gay man" talk has a bit of bitterness behind it. It could be because some masculine or bisexual men say "no femmes" in their dating profiles. It's a preference, though, so there's no reason to be bitter about it.

[meridannight]

This being a form of defense mechanism is understandable if the culprits are young, which I guess makes sense in the 3rd case in my original post.

If they're in their 20's and up though (which is the age of the YouTubers I talked about), one would think that they've matured enough having been exposed to this kind of nonacceptance that they'd know better than to subject others to the very thing they hate.

some people don't even grow up by their 50s. it's all individual and depends on the susceptibility to education, the cultural atmosphere, the peer influence, etc and it also depends on what kind of exposure one has had with homosexuality and on a person's worldly experience in general.

also, some people tend to overidentify with some qualities sometimes. religious fanaticism is the same type of attitude, where you go by the book about certain things and think that's the way everyone should live. something feels so right to you that you want to impose it on everybody essentially. which in itself is wrong.

i think everyone should be free to live their life the way they want it, there is no universal ''right'' or ''wrong''. you can dislike some people and some ways of life, sure, but that's as far as it goes, your own personal taste. anyone who's had a significantly sophisticated life experience usually agrees with this. it's people who grow up and live in an environment with limited exposure to other cultures and ways of life where fanatical trends are most prominent.

[Cuddly]

There's alot of trash on the internet (and in real life, I suppose )

[Miles]

Opinions are like assholes and too many people are just walking opinions

[ETOTE]

Unfortunately it's still a "dog eat dog" world out there, and all the bonobo's are trying to figure out their place in the pecking order...

Hey now, don't be dissing my kind.

For the record, it's bonobos, not bonobo's.
Bonobo's would be in reference to ownership belonging to that individual.

example:
"The bonobo's arm is long."

When referring to them as a group, there is no need for an apostrophe.

example:
"We are all pansexual bonobos."

Unless it's referring to ownership belonging to the group, then it would be bonobos'.

example:
The bonobos' young are cute.