Not quite sexual guy, I guess..

[Cuddly]

"Aren't you attracted to your boyfriend? Don't you feel the desire to put your hands on him? Or your lips? Asexuality exists too."

I don't know what you mean by being attracted. I like him a lot, he's very cute and we're having great time together, but if you mean the necessity to touch him in all means, then probably no, I don't feel such desire. I mean, it feels great to hug and feel his warmth but when I think about something more, I'm not sure if I want it. Probably it's also because I'm inexperienced in sexual things, it scares me as it's so unfamiliar to me.

Maybe I'm just not ready to have sex? If I would be ready, I probably wouldn't have any doubt and all these questions.

We haven't talked about sex. He's not trying to force me, however when we're together he touches me a lot more than I touch him, but also nothing special, just cuddling, snuggling.

I hate doctors and everything that's connected with medicine. I've had a bad experience when I was a child.

I'm studying pharmacy (the creation of medicine and how it works) starting 3rd year in a week and I can understand why you would hate it or be afraid of it. It's a scary concept k? I had a psychological barrier that simply prevented me from swallowing pills, until I started studying it. Medicine is supposed to help and most often does, but the body is complicated and every body is different, meaning the medicine also works differently in each individual. It's complicated stuff.
- hating doctors is just mean!

What I mean is, don't you (ever) fantasise about grabbing his naked ass cheek? Or bite it? Or suck on his nipple? Or suck on something else? Or be sucked somewhere else by him? Or having him bite your ass cheek? Are those thoughts completely alien to you?
(Don't be shy, you're anonymous and frankly, even if you weren't, nobody would think twice about a discussion of sexuality or lack there of on a gay forum! We're here to help to the best of our abilities, but we need information to give our suggestions/views/help)

I'm more or less your polar opposite. I need constant distraction in order to keep a lid on my sexual drive. I am noticing a difference as I'm growing older though (meaning from when I was 18 to 25, I've noticed a huge change in how uncontrollable my desire is - the long-term monogamous husbear relationship probably helps alot!)
I definately needed to get off once a day, since I was 14 or so. Now.. not so much.

Every relationship is different, but personally I couldn't be in a passionless (aka sexless) relationship. I'm not 18 though and I'm not you. You need what you need and I wish you the best.

[Anonymous]

hating doctors is just mean!

I've been tortured in a hospital for a year, that's where my dislike for medicine come from.

What I mean is, don't you (ever) fantasise about grabbing his naked ass cheek? Or bite it? Or suck on his nipple? Or suck on something else? Or be sucked somewhere else by him? Or having him bite your ass cheek? Are those thoughts completely alien to you?

No no, even just reading this made me blush. I can't even imagine myself doing such things.

[AlfredM]

More reason to visit a therapist,work out your body image issue and fear of visiting a doctor. Then you could work out your low sexual drive and see if maybe you're in the asexuality spectrum or just need medical help.

[HughBlackmon23]

You can have intimacy in a relationship without having sex. Just think about it. Many people just have mindless, shallow hookups without remembering who or what the other people are about. It's okay if you are not that kind of a person. Don't be fooled by popular opinion. As long as the two of you openly communicate your wants and needs, then your relationship will run its natural course. I think it's wonderful that your significant other doesn't find you inadequate and accepts you for who you are. There are plenty of healthy ways to get to know someone. It sounds like sex isn't the be all end all for him and that he genuinely cares about you.

Now, if you have a problem with your inability to feel comfortable with having sex, then you may want to seek out some help or resources on the matter. However, that's up to you. Don't let anyone force you to do something you're not ready to do. It could also be in your nature to be on the asexual spectrum.

Then again, don't get wrapped up in labels. If things are great right now, just enjoy it.

[Anocxu]

You are 18....
Maybe more emotional than sexual.
I was the exact ...

Age 23 is when I started getting "Frisky"
My doctors labelled me perfectly healthy.
(Except I had abnormally sensitive hearing)

Please. . Understand.. there are bio chemicals that play a role in adolescent behavior. .. give yourself a little time..

[PatrickLondon]

I'm happy with him too, but this is not how relationships should work, right? We're supposed to have sex, right?

If and when you feel it's right for you, yes. If not, no. Nothing is compulsory, beyond mutual respect and consideration for each other's needs and wishes: and not taking it for granted that you know what they are or are not.

[swemarcus]

It's perfectly fine to feel the way you do. You are probably the same as I am, you fall in love with guys but sexually asexual.

Some people just have a lower sexdrive and don't need as much as most people do, you're sexdrive is not something that can be fixed via surgery, so you shouldn't worry.

search "asexuality the view" and there will be an interview that you can watch that describe asexuality pretty good

[ShiftyNJ]

Well, but these are not real relationships without sex, no? Then we're more like friends, then boyfriends.

What if a person in a relationship becomes disabled or ill and can't? Or depressed and can't? That doesn't mean they love each other less.

Granted your relationship is new(ish) but I do know that if you angst about it, it will be worse. Do you get turned on when he is near you and (mostly) undressed? If you are attracted to your guy and he is (obviously) attracted to you, relax and be as patient with yourself as he's being with you. If it is meant to happen, it will.