My BF Kissed someone else... ?

[Borg69]

IMO you're being a bit Draconian. The punishment doesn't fit the crime for such an inconsequential quick peck with someone whom I assume isn't a threat. If he was blowing him or something, or even tongue dancing groping and grinding I could see the outrage.

This deserves little more than a written verbal warning.

[Alex]

As you all know I was 19 when I met Jake, Jake was 29, I can tell you that I did mistakes, a lot, I cheated him - more than once, I kissed other guys, Blowjobs, Gang bang, you name it I did it. But let me tell you something else about all that. My body doesn't belongs to Jake and his body doesn't belongs to me either. I understand all about the feelings of ownership over a relationship but thereès a world of difference between having SEX and making love. Jake is a former porn performer and escort, If I would have whine each and every time I knew he was having sex with someone else Ièd be the most miserable husband... those time doesn't last. I know many of you will not understand our philosophy because you may have not yet devolved from the christian faith which have created the concept of fidelity. Naturally, a human being isn't faithful. But we can control it. Years went by and I lost interest in having sex with other people than my man because only him knows how to get me off quickly or lastly and thus very well.

I know this will shock a lot of you, but all I can say about that if you have a problem with your love one, Talk with them and set the boundaries. To the OPS, I strongly believe youère over reacting and YES Alcohol do makes you do things that you'd never do in normal states and if you're saying that you have drank you share and even blacked out and tell us that you never ever did any wrongs THAT IS A BIG FAT LIE, when I black out, I need someone else to tell me what I did that night, so please stop this fairy tale already and forgive your boyfriend. It was just a kiss.

[Alex]

In these situations, there's always the "it depends" out look on it, cause' you have to factor in a lot of stuff. People take cheating in different ways and other people give those that cheat second chances. And there's also the intensity of the cheating. To me, it sounds like it was a mistake, but he should have owned up to the music. I personally would have been more mad at the fact that he didn't tell me. Now, if they were both sober, and they just have full blown out sex, then that's a different story to me. What you did, wasn't wrong. He should have told you in the first place and take what was coming to him. Others would say what he did wasn't that bad. Like I said, everybody will interpret it differently. What matters, is what you believe is right, and what kind of respect you think you deserve. If you really don't want to give him a chance, that's fine. It happens and maybe things will patch up in the future. But what he did was wrong, and it is you who decides for yourself, if you want to risk having that happen again, and putting up with it.

You're 19 Wardo... while I understand your stance YOU TOO will change mind. You'll see, love, real love make you forgive even the worse

[CellarDweller]

breakup over one kiss? Nah, I'd be pissed and let him know it, but there wouldn't be a break up.

[jogu656]

I had this happened before, its very insulting and offensive and i too kicked him to the curve, its not about toleration its about dignity and self respect, if you "Love Me" why would you want to kiss someone else......in my opinion because there isnt anything between us anymore, so great for you, i read some of the responses and they might forgive some indiscretions but if im loyal why shouldnt you, if you are the only one i want to kiss, why should i be ok with you kissing someone else, you forgive one mistake and you'll soon realize you'll have to be forgiving him a lot, i may be over dramatic but its humiliating to witness such a shameless act and have them later act like nothings wrong, in my opinion thats ridiculous, ive been in many relationships were i was the only one they wanted to kiss the few that kissed someone else in my face well i had no mercy because before you know it you find yourself being asked to forgive an indiscretion and that is not gonna happen no matter how in love i am 8^D

[Keith]

Come on, man! It depends. Anyone could make mistakes. And BTW If Chris Evans Or Thor kisses you all of a sudden, will you push him away? I won`t, LOL
And Do not draw a conclusion too soon. He was not sleeping with some guy. If he did cheat u and u get the 100% true evidence, then you can do anything.

[Wardo94]

You're 19 Wardo... while I understand your stance YOU TOO will change mind. You'll see, love, real love make you forgive even the worse

I never said I wouldn't forgive them lol I'm just trying to be open minded and not just throw out my opinion as advice. It really does depend on the situation and the person. I'm sure if someone I loved did something worse than that, I would still forgive. I'm a pretty forgiving/understanding person. But I also do know people who wouldn't take shit from anybody, and can be hard people to receive forgiveness from. So it varies from situation to situation and that's the point I'm trying to make. Everything is very fluid. So towards the end of the day, what the OP did is fine, if it's deemed fine by what is heart believes in and what moral standards he stands by.

[AdamAndWill]

You're 19 Wardo... while I understand your stance YOU TOO will change mind. You'll see, love, real love make you forgive even the worse

(Adam) You're right, Alex. I'm not a religious person, but I love the Living New Testament version of I Peter 4:8 -- "Continue to hold great love for one another, for love excuses many faults".

[Alex]

I had this happened before, its very insulting and offensive and i too kicked him to the curve, its not about toleration its about dignity and self respect, if you "Love Me" why would you want to kiss someone else......in my opinion because there isnt anything between us anymore, so great for you, i read some of the responses and they might forgive some indiscretions but if im loyal why shouldnt you, if you are the only one i want to kiss, why should i be ok with you kissing someone else, you forgive one mistake and you'll soon realize you'll have to be forgiving him a lot, i may be over dramatic but its humiliating to witness such a shameless act and have them later act like nothings wrong, in my opinion thats ridiculous, ive been in many relationships were i was the only one they wanted to kiss the few that kissed someone else in my face well i had no mercy because before you know it you find yourself being asked to forgive an indiscretion and that is not gonna happen no matter how in love i am 8^D

You're heading for a world of pain, that has nothing to do with dignity, if you lost your dignity over a false kiss, you must be one hell of a drama queen. Loosen up, it doesn't always lead to fatality and if you lose interest over someone you claim to LOVE over so little, you might want to review your definition of love. What you're feeling for that person isn't love, it's a very possessive behavior, and Jealousy, envy aren't proof of love at all, they are controlling behavior.

[Cuddly]

IMO you're being a bit Draconian. The punishment doesn't fit the crime for such an inconsequential quick peck with someone whom I assume isn't a threat. If he was blowing him or something, or even tongue dancing groping and grinding I could see the outrage.

This deserves little more than a written verbal warning.

I agree. You sent him packing for just a kiss?.. Mistakes happen and during the few seconds the kiss lasts, you don't get many opportunities to stop it. A kiss I would forgive without much fuss. I would be hurt, but I'd forgive. It's a bit dodgy to kiss in the bathroom though...