Apologies to all GS

[Virge]

When I was leaving this morning my room mate was logging in on GS and had messages he had been given warnings about things he'd said. After I read them I was beyond being furious with him about it. I told him when he joined GS anything he did would reflect on me and he needed to remember that. Right now I feel he should be banned from here for what he said --- to a NEW MEMBER of all people.

I will make no excuses for his behaviour because it was totally inexcusable. While I understand what set him off with that OP there's no reason to even go into that.

Any apology he makes to me or anyone else for it can't be accepted because he knew better and it would be the same as asking permission after a crime.

I'm posting this so all of you can comment anonymously and vent your guts out about this.

I've given it four hours of thought. Unless I get some compelling reasons from members in GS, StingRay will not be back. I can't imagine there are compelling reasons that I've tried to find this morning and found none.

I give my apologies for his behaviour and hope all of you will accept it, not for him but for me.

[MikeW]

Well, I appreciate what you're saying, meme, but I don't feel the same way about it. I mean, yeah, he may owe the OP an apology. Where I come from is people need to be at least somewhat free to express what is going on in their minds. We also need to take personal responsibility for our mistakes. On one hand, I'd hate for GS to become an abusive forum (like others I belong to). But, on the other hand, I wouldn't want this place to be so "nicey nicey" that we don't feel like we can speak our minds freely, either.

We all make mistakes. I sure as hell have. How can we learn from them if we aren't allowed to make them?

[Buzzer]

Ray gives a valuable straight male perspective on a lot of things. (Do we have any other active ones right now?) It'd be a shame if he didn't come back.

[AdamAndWill]

Will: I posted my thoughts on the thread and reported the posts - Ray PMed me to say he had received an infraction, and this is what he also said: "...And I deserve it. I dont know what got into me to even act that way. Virge just about gave me a beat down for it and I feel awful about what I said. It was all wrong of me to do that...".

I asked Ray to post what he said to me on the thread, and I think you should give him the opportunity to do so. None of us are perfect, we all fuck up royally sometimes. I've had things really push my buttons for all the wrong reasons, I know how it feels.

And Virge, I can't imagine that anyone is angry with you.

[East]

Sometimes there are things that should be /need to be said to actually help someone. Online I try to watch what I say because I know that people would get angry if I said what I really think.

I think he was right actually...it does take two. When my ex was on the bar f*ckign my co-worker in front of a crowd before I came to work and everyone wanted to rush to my defense and make me a victim..after the rage wore off...I made a very sane decision to own my part in the mess. I was BRUTALLY HONEST with myself because I know the value of that and it is what propelled me into another place in my life. I wasn't Snow F*cking White but it is tempting to play the part.

I tell you...people LOVE victims. They get mad if you don't want to BE a victim. If I needed it...I would have rather heard what Ray had to say because it would have been the thing that would have helped me. The truth sucks sometimes.....but it is what it is....

So...obviously...I don't have a problem with him or what he said but I understand why some people might.

I would like him (and you) to stay

[Uneunsae]

My personal opinion is that every community has a specific feel, atmosphere, social style, etc only because the members of that community encourage certain behaviours and discourage others. I wish for us to be a community of kind people who are, of course, allowed to express what is going on in our minds, but in a respectful and intelligent dialogue, NOT in the form of directly attacking others. Many people choose to come to GS because this type of attack has not been allowed by the members here. That's what makes GS unique.

I'm not going to dictate what others should do and I won't say what Sting should or shouldn't do, because I don't *own* this community, but the above are the things in mind when I consider being part of a specific community.

[MikeW]

..None of us are perfect, we all fuck up royally sometimes. I've had things really push my buttons for all the wrong reasons, I know how it feels. . . .

This.

Trust me, I know how to not only flame but BROIL people on a spit. I've done it.

I even know how to slowly needle 'f**ktards' until they unravel in a way that will get them banned, even on the most permissive forums. LOL!!

[Miles]

What did I miss? :confused:

[CarGuy65]

While I do think his post was extremely harsh (if it is in fact the one I am thinking of), but I think people are entitled to speak their mind like Mike W said.
Memechose, please do not ban him. Like Buzzer mentioned, a straight mans perspective is to me a welcome addition to this forum.
And...........both of your guys' humor is at times very refreshing and the fact that you are roomies adds more to it. I always look forward to the post from both of you!
Please do not ban the Sting!!

[LJay]

Memechose, StingRay and all the rest of GS:

I don't like my friends (and I hope that the two of you, in particular, are friends ) to be perfect. I like them to be interesting, colorful, capable of fucking up and willing to admit it when it happens. While I can understand your feeling responsible, Memechose, I have no illusions that things written under Sting Ray's name are your thoughts. Give each other a break, and I hope some hugs, and be the great guys that I know you are. Really!

We need open, friendly and honest straight guys around this place. It would be diminished without Ray and his perspective.

As I understand it, free speech allows one to have the privilege of putting one's foot in one's mouth. the image is so neat that I hope free speech sticks around.

Please. Keep on being our Valentines.

PS--Feet can also be used to kick friends in the ass when they need it. That is an important part of friendship. It does not mean that they need be kicked off the block.