Does open relationship really work?

[TwisttheLeaf]

Open relationships happen just as often in straight relationships as gay ones.

Neither are all relationships based on the development of love. Sometimes it's companionship, or economic, or deep friendship with sex that -looks- like a relationship. There's all different kinds of relationships out there, and some work better as an open relationship than others.

Nothing wrong with expressing curiosity, yeah? I think the perceived judgement came with how this is phrased. "Affairs may happen in relationship,but open relationship is too weird."

[Iceblink]

Nothing wrong with expressing curiosity, yeah? I think the perceived judgement came with how this is phrased. "Affairs may happen in relationship,but open relationship is too weird."

Okay, I admit I may have overreacted and apologize to Keith if I offended him.

I just sometimes get a little tired of this subject because it one of the most frequent topics in lgbt sites and, like the frequent "feminine guys" threads, seems to provide a forum to unfairly criticize others that do not deserve it.

[BlueStar]

My parents have been in an open straight relationship for about 3 years now, nothing wrong nor anyone has a problem with it. Issues? All relationships have, even if lately my parents are being too lazy to get stressed on theirs, or get jealous on each other. But as to why they started it after 20 years of marriage (monogamy), well this was something I couldn't understand, didn't want to discuss nor cared about. Every couple has reasons...

As for now I'm satisfied with my fresh monogamous relationship, me and my partner heavily depend emotionally on each other.

[Bluelight]

For some it does.

[AdamAndWill]

Will: As Twist said, there are just as many straight open relationships as gay ones. We are friends with 2 straight couples who are in open relationships, and it seems to work for them.

And, as Bowyn said, it depends on the couple.

Adam and I are not in a place right now where it would work for us, or where either of us would want it. But relationships evolve and change over time. The only "relationship rule" we have is that Failure Is Not An Option --- so we pretty much don't rule anything out absolutely.

Who knows?

[Steve]

Great post Will. Determination to succeed is more than half the battle I think.

[Pix]

I am sorry if i said something rude, i did not mean to belittle open relationship. Just i am curious and I do not understand how it works.

If you'd really like to know more about how it works then I highly recommend this book (I know at least one library has it, or did anyway):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ethical_Slut

All in all, it depends on temperament. I know one (straight) guy who'd always feel trapped so he went to a polyamorous model of relationships (not to be confused with "open relationship") and it worked, though of course he had to share as well (the way he described it was he was a "friends with benefit" with certain women who were in another relationship that wasn't fully satisfying to them emotionally and/or sexually but refusing to leave it for some reason or another). It had its flaws, but not as many as a monogamous one did for him. In contrast, I know of a woman just like him but she insists on monogamy, but she always gets bored/feels trapped and cheats as monogamy isn't for her. Likewise, some can find economic benefits in some types of polyamorous relationships as well, and economics reasons tend to be as compelling as romantic and sexual ones.

As for me I always wanted to try it but none of my partners did (not even the serial cheater) so it's not an experience of mine.

[dynamodean]

A few different things:

1) An open relationship is not for everyone, that goes for straight, gay, bi, what have you. If either or both partners are the jealous type, then an open relationship is obviously not for them. You need to have built a strong and trusting bond to make it work. Any second guessing or doubting and you're just swimming against the strong current of failure.

2) Not all open relationships are created equal. While some open relationships constitute a free ride (pun intended) to everything and including butt sex...some couples may find it doable (pun intended again) to only allow their partners to give handies to "outsiders"...or maybe only wining, dining, and watching a movie while cuddling up. There are no set rules and every couple can tailor and adjust their boundaries and limitations.

3) The meaning of the word "relationship" is even subjective and different. A couple can be hardly more than fuck buddies...and technically that is a relationship of sorts. They're probably the most likely to be okay with open relationships. Some couples can deal with open relationships just fine because they're not ready (or were looking for) to fall in love or be emotionally attached to their partner.

Open relationships can work because in certain instances, they are just what the doctor ordered. Obviously it's not for everyone.

[Varyn]

As Iceblink pointed out my issue as well, my boyfriend and I did try an open relationship but it made our relationship more stressful because of underlying circumstances. There was miscommunications, we felt that maybe we didn't have a clear compromise on guidelines. Some couples can make it work and others can't, of you're curious about it either try it and discuss it with whoever your with, and make sure you're both 100% comfortable with the boundaries you set for the open relationship and that you remind each other that you both matter to each other more than just occasional sex and you're not looking for a way to cheat and just covering it up.

[Anocxu]

95% of open relationships fail..