Cuddly Wrote:This kind of question makes me feel awful! No - I probably wouldn't. I don't think it's physically possible to change a female body into a male body possessing the traits that I find oh so attractive.
This is normally the kind of thread I just avoid, because I feel like honest answers are unpopular and it's a theoretical situation I doubt I'll ever deal with in real life in any event. I feel the same way you do, though for different reasons. I believe that women (be they women who identify as women, or women who identify as men) can have male "energy" to them. But I've never had a moment of feeling like I could have confused any woman I have ever met or interacted with with an actual biological male-- and I don't mean the physical aspects, because there are certainly some very male or masculine-featured/-looking women on the planet, and some very good (physically) post-op ex-females. I'm referring to probably a LOT of small inexplicables and things that are largely not even all that conscious either on the part of the person projecting them or on my part perceiving them.
Honestly, it's impossible to lay out a list because I don't think a lot of it are external traits or discrete things. It's a combination of things some of which are not tangible and which I do not believe someone can either re-train themselves or be re-trained about after living as another gender in their formative years (even if that was not of their own choice). "Presence" might be a way of what I'm trying to say, what kind of identity do you project off of yourself not just from your body or your voice or your personality, but from your psyche as well-- and without even trying. It's completely not tied at all to "how do you verbally identify."
For many people maybe the correct physical form (or enough of its features) and the correct self-conception would meet "my restriction for what I want to date is I'm into men/males." For me it would have to actually be to the point of "I literally forget that this person was ever anything but male." I'd have to be able to then sit down at a table and hang out in their presence for an hour and completely perceive the person across from me as a male rather than as someone attempting to make the external match an internal perception of feeling or identifying as male. And it has almost nothing to do with the presence of the penis or facial/body hair or physical shape-- I don't see most biological male's penises or body hair or naked physical forms, but still perceive them as male.
It's also possible I simply haven't experienced enough interaction with enough different formerly female males to have a better cross section of the what's out there. But my perception thus far has always been of someone trying very hard to make the internal, the psychological, the physical and the spiritual dimensions of "male" all come into alignment-- never so far of someone who has actually completely succeeded at doing it.
I feel guilty because that feels somehow closed off. I'm actually very inspired by how brave many transgender or gender-changing/correcting individuals are and how overwhelming the challenges of that experience must be, and how few people can really understand it. But I think when it comes to dating, seeking out life partners, investing (and accepting investment) in people emotionally and romantically, you should be honest about where your bridges go and which bridges are "a bridge too far" because you're just setting yourself and someone else up to be unhappy in the long run otherwise. For me at least based on my experiences and my own self-perception of what I desire, it's a bridge I don't think I could cross. But I also would not say that would "never change" based on different perceptions and meeting different individuals in the future.
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