When is it a good time for...

[Rob]

I'm still a virgin but I'm really looking forward to experiencing sex for the first time. When do you think I should tell I'm a virgin to a man I'm interested in? It sounds like the kind of thing that puts people off or something.

[TwisttheLeaf]

There's all different kinds of reactions to finding out one's partner is a virgin. Sometimes, it scares people off. Sometimes, it brings them closer. Some see it as a trophy, others as an honored gift.

It really depends on what your partner sees it as, yeah? Maybe you could try broaching the topic of virginity in a casual off-hand way and see what he thinks? Get a little information on his perspective before dropping the bomb, yeah?

[Iceblink]

The appropriate time to bring it up to him would be when it comes up naturally in conversation such as when you two have decided you are going to have sex or when you two are having those deeper life conversations that occur if you two have made it together past those early dating conversations of discovering if you're right for each other. It is not necessary to share too intimate of details of your life in that casual, initial dating period. Save those details for people you have decided matter or the person you have definitely decided to have sex with. When it does happen, it doesn't have to be the basis and focus of the conversation, but just part of a larger conversation about his and yours sexuality.

[jasonkirk]

I'm still a virgin but I'm really looking forward to experiencing sex for the first time. When do you think I should tell I'm a virgin to a man I'm interested in? It sounds like the kind of thing that puts people off or something.

good luck i hope you find happiness in your life

[jogu656]

When i was a virgin few years back, yes i was a late bloomer as well haha....anyway i told guys right away, i didn't want to be pressured into something or lead a guy into believing something that wasn't true, depends on how you view your virginity, to me it was an accomplishment to be a 25 year old virgin until the right guy came in, the fact i wasn't sleeping around made me more appealing to some and worth falling in love with, so just depends on how you approach it, i never start anything serious with secrets or omissions better out in the open, relationship surprises aren't always a good thing

[East]

I think bringing it up directly is the best approach and let people react however it is they want to react.

My reaction would be avoidance of anything other than friendship but I would caution on the guy who is too eager to only date virgins as well...do not take their excitement as a good thing...

Either way...it is better to put it on the table to gauge the honest responses until you find the guy where it is a non issue versus the run away guy or the been waiting for a virgin guy

[Borg69]

Just out of curiosity... why have you waited this long?

[Rob]

Just out of curiosity... why have you waited this long?

A number of reasons.

Long story short:

1) I've never wanted to look for sex until I was 100% sure of being gay. I know that sounds nonsense but it's true.

2) I was about to come out to family and friends when I was 20 but everything collapsed when my sister came out too (she's gay too). You'd think I should have been relieved by that but I'll explain later.

3) #2 was a major setback because I felt I would be doing wrong to my family if I'd come out too. I'm from a very homophobic area and I feared it might have caused abuse to me and my family.

4) There's been cases of physical abuse and aggression against homosexuals around here and I was TERRIFIED that it could happen to me.

5) Also for #4, there are no gay bars, clubs, spots in my town or in the surroundings, I didn't know gay boys or men back then so I had no idea how to "enter the dating pool".

That's almost it. It was a combination of factors and I do regret not having been brave enough earlier, even because I'd love to have sex finally. I hope my stay in NYC will help me with that.

[jimcrackcorn]

Not meaning to scare you, but be careful & safe while enjoying New York City.

New HIV diagnoses are concentrated primarily in large U.S. metropolitan areas (81% in 2011), with New York, Los Angeles, and Miami topping the list.