How can I stop feeling this way about my straight friend?

[Jimmy]

Thanks guys. This is the advice that I needed. I agree that I need to get out more and hang out with other gay guys. I'm a decent lad! There's bound to be someone out there for me 😜

My feelings started for him a couple of years ago when we and few friends met up at a pub one night. This drunken arsehole came up to us and started spewing all this BS about how gay people are disgusting and they're going to hell. Nathan actually shouted this little shit down! I think that was the moment when I knew that he'd be ok with me being gay. He didn't have to say anything to this guy because there wasn't any gay people there to offend (well apart from closet case me haha) but that's the type of person he is. He will always be my friend no matter what. I'm not going to do anything to ruin that. I know I'm seeing him through rose tinted glasses! He isn't perfect, but he's damn close. It's a damn shame about that pesky heterosexuality!

You guys have helped me a lot, thank you! Keeping things like this to myself is eating away at me. I know that my friends and family would be supportive of me, but it's hard to come out because I've kept this to myself for such a long time. This secret is apart of who I am....does that make sense?

[StingRay]

I been avoiding this thread and making comments here from just reading the title. Then some nosey pushy gay guy got me to come back and read this again to give a straight guys angle on this.

I believe the gay guy in these friendship situations with straight guys are the ones who mess things up most the times. It's not in the scope of being a straight guy to be able to be comfortable with another guy telling him hes in love with him or trying to get physically closer than a straight guy would. At least thats true in the beginning. Jimmy says hes known this guy 2 years and hasnt made it past this phase so hes still in the beginning.

Once the gay guy makes some sort of move or says something that makes the straight guy uncomfortable most of them back off and be nice about it without getting huffed about it. Then the worst thing the gay guy can do is something like "whyyyyyy are youuuuu rejecting meeeeee." The only people straight men are used to acting that way are women and the only reason they tolerate women who do that to them is theres pussy in the deal.

I say you should cut back on the emoting and man up with him. You can make a strong friendship out of this if you can accept that this crush thing youre feeling is leading to nothing that wont destroy any chance of friendship between you and him.

But I can tell you building strong friendships are possible between gay and straight men if you can get past the crush thing youre feeling that leads to nothing good.

[LJay]

Ray, sounds like you are saying that guys don't mind hanging out with guys and that being straight is a lot like being gay in that respect except for the women and sex part. Hmm. Wonder if this is why I have had straight friends most of my life...

[StingRay]

Ray, sounds like you are saying that guys don't mind hanging out with guys and that being straight is a lot like being gay in that respect except for the women and sex part. Hmm. Wonder if this is why I have had straight friends most of my life...

I get along better with gay guys usually that with straight guys. LOL! I aint dumb! I like women and I don't like getting tied down with one just because she wants to tie me down. I found out way back the best way to fix that is to screw other guys girlfriends on the down low so they cant be coming around pestering me all the time. Now I'm getting old I try to avoid that type stuff as much as I can. I have 5 days before my next to last before turning the big ugly three ~ oh. Now I'm hanging out with gay guys a bunch more meeting their collections of women and they're all smart, real pretty and not all into drama.

I'm seeing one and only one now Im liking alot but have it figgered out shes playing me along exactly the way Jay played Virge. Shes telling me she just wants to be NSA FWB but thats just her words. Her actions are telling me otherwise and I dont mind it with her. Like Jay did Virge, shes making me prove myself to her before we get too serious and all Im doing is being myself and keeping it honest with her. We haven't been "out" on a date yet cause I like cooking for her and her son and they eat like Im serving up the best theyve ever eaten. I babysit him (he's 12) while she does things. It gives me an excuse to have fun with him and hes liking me a lot which is all new to me. He's definitely gay!! LOL!!!! He's gaga crushing all over Virgie-pie!

[LJay]

Getting old?

You may me recall something once said to my father by one of his female friends. His name was also Ray.

"Oh, horse balls, Ray!"

[Virge]

As Ray's gay room mate & best friend.. here's some advice.

Straight guys make solid friends if you can keep from chasing them off by getting crushy on them. Once they get comfortable about being friends it makes for some great conversations you'll never get with gay guys. They start asking questions trying to understand all the crap they've learned from straight guys about gay stuff that's all lies and you can tell they believe what you're telling them.

Straight guys get very protective towards gay men they're friends with. If they take you around their straight friends and one of them pops off with some homophobe attitude they take offense and they settle it before you have to.

Straight guys really trust gay guys for advice on relationships with women more than other straight men. You really get to see how vulnerable and "sweet" they are behind all the macho shit. Once you see that they become like brothers to you. I'm real protective of my straight buddies and always calling them when I hear one of them is having trouble with a girl.

You never have to worry about a straight friend making moves on the guy you like. If anything straight guys are going to let you know any nice guys they think are gay and try to introduce you to them if you're single.

[loveme]

I am in the same situation that you are in right now. but for me, my friend knows that i have feelings for him and he makes passes on me and lets me do the same to him and turns me away because he says he does not like me in that way.

[Mraaronlb]

How old are you Jimmy?

[Jimmy]

Old enough to know better lol

[Jimmy]

Good advice StingRay. Thanks pal.