Unsure of LGBTQ meet ups?

[skWolf]

So, I'm currently in a situation where I really not out to anyone, in fact, I don't even know myself exactly what I am at this point, but there are opportunities coming up soon for LGBTQ people to meet up at my school, just to get to know each other since school is just starting, so it's sort of like a beginning of the year meet and greet event.

I have always wanted to meet and make some good gay/bi friends, but am apprehensive about going to these meetings in danger of bumping into someone I know, and also be assumed gay simply by association or attending these events.

It's difficult even now for me to write about this here, and I guess one of the reasons I am so paranoid about this, is because potentially there WILL be acquaintances that are gay who know me, and there is a very high chance that they will be at these events, and I'm just worried about how this might spread rumors about me and the fall out from this. It's tough cause I'm not ready for anyone else to know that I'm in a questioning phase... but at the same time, I don't have anyone else I can talk to about this.

I know this isn't even really a question, but I just need some advice, or someone to talk to/discuss this, and whether I should even go or not, or what is holding me back, and whether I should even care about what others think. It's easy to say, don't care about what others think, but it's much easier said than done, sorry for the long post, but any thoughts, comments, advice, or support would be greatly appreciated!

[Lycanthropist]

If you bump in to someone you know at one of these events, what are they doing there. You really don't owe anyone an explanation. If you have to offer anything, just say you're having a bit of a difficult time meeting people, and you're trying to exhaust all avenues.

Keep in mind that no matter what you do or become in life, people are going to talk about you. It doesn't matter if they actually know you or not, they will talk.

Good luck however you decide.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Unless confidentiality of those who join in is guaranteed (and maybe even if it is guaranteed) you're going to risk outing yourself. Unfortunately, that's the downfall and inconvenience of being in the closet.

So before you decide to go, you need to decide if you're going to be alright with being outed. I'm not saying it -will- happen, but the likelihood is very high.

[Wade]

Should you care what others think... of course not. But, easier said than done, I understand.

Your situation is really quite interesting. I wouldn't want to tell you to go, only for you to go and then see someone you were hoping not to see and have it all end up ruining your life. On the other hand, if you did go and didn't happen to see anyone you're afraid of seeing, I guarantee you'd have a great time.

I just went to a LGBTQ meet and greet thing on my own campus yesterday. It was a lot of fun. I didn't meet anyone that I'm going to maintain contact with, but it's very liberating to be in a big room full of people who are out, accepting and comfortable with themselves. It's like living underwater your whole life, not knowing you need air to survive, then all of sudden you burst out of the surface and take a big lungful of oxygen and think "Holy shit, this whole time I've been suffocating and I didn't even know it!"

Does that make sense? Perhaps, if you want to begin feeling more comfortable with your orientation, you should first see a counselor on your campus if that sort of thing is offered. You can see what it's like to tell someone you're gay (you'll also realize that it's really not as big a deal as you think it is... but you'll figure that out sooner or later).

You wrote this because you want to go... then just fuckin' go. You're gonna die one day, no sense in depriving yourself of some happiness.

[Gideon]

It's a tough decision, man. You just have to decide if the appeal of meeting these people and having that opportunity is worth the risk of being outed as at -least- open minded if not curious. And you don't have to admit to anything. As was already stated..you don't owe anyone an explanation.

And don't let anyone tell you that it shouldn't matter what anyone thinks....if people didn't care what others thought? Forums like this wouldn't exist, yeah? We might not -want- to care, but we all...or at least -most- care, at least a little bit.

Whatever you decide..be proud of who you are and don't let -anyone- take that away from you.

[Wade]

And don't let anyone tell you that it shouldn't matter what anyone thinks...

I feel affronted and am now in the awkward position of challenging you to duel lest my manhood be brought into question.

[Gideon]

I feel affronted and am now in the awkward position of challenging you to duel lest my manhood be brought into question.

*Lifts a brow and gives it a little waggle* Long as it's not a duel to the death, man....Twist will KILL me if he wakes up and finds out I done got myself dead over your manhood of all things

*Chuckles*

[TwisttheLeaf]

*Eyes Gideon and makes sure his stick is still put away.* No duels for you.

[Gideon]

Your stick, man.

*Points to the "Twist's stick" moniker*

[Virge]

I feel affronted and am now in the awkward position of challenging you to duel lest my manhood be brought into question.

Wade your manhood has never been a subject of question.
Jokes, Ridicule and urban mythology, yes. Definitely, yes.