Peoples reactions to M/M couples in writing and Media portrayal of gays etc.

[Yume]

Hello everyone, this is one of my first controversial threads I'm writing about and I am a bit nervous to be writing here about something that I actually feel and believe in haha, please don't criticize too much >,< and... I'll begin as to why I'm posting this thread.

Well... Something that has been bothering me for a while is how the public reacts to M/M couples in writing and even in the outside world, I know this might sound like a broad and repetitive issue, but let me explain even further on this. The public, in most cases does not care so much about F/F, yuri (love between girls) and is more comfortable with yuri writing and even on productions of shows, movies and some more adult anime/cartoons, I mean there are some people that I know of that are against it and hate it, but not as much hate from M/M related productions. Also of course, the public doesn't care at all about F/M productions. But, M/M yaoi (love between two men) productions seemed to be given a lot of hate and criticism... To be honest this kind of bothered me, because that also means that writers and people who produce some kind of media are less motivated and much less likely to write about M/M couples. For example, I am very fond of an anime/game series known as Corpse Party; it has a lot of F/F romance elements in there, and I don't mind, I actually think it adds to me liking it, so long as they don't take their clothes off. However, when they added some M/M elements in there, people were commenting negatively on it and were even angry and disappointed that it was in there, while the F/F romance elements as well as the M/F romance elements only gave it higher praise. Not only in anime, but in reality productions as well. Even in my own writing when I associate M/M romance in it the people I show it to seem to hate it even more, and even make comments like "Ewww" or "Oh no..." (but I do warn people if it does contain graphic nudity which it does sometimes but this isn't even about the sexual part, but just about the fact that two men are together) while if I write about two girls or a boy and a girl then the public likes it. It kind of gets me annoyed, how do you feel about this?

Also, I another thing that annoys me is how the media portrays gay men as always being flamboyant, into fashion, makeup, hair, singers like Madonna, have friends that are mostly girls Etc. It is NOT an accurate portrayal of the gay community because it really depends on the person and gay people are diverse as well. Not only there, there are many straight men that fit the stereotype that the media portrays as "gay/homosexual" and many straight men even cross-dress. It just makes me sad, and even angry that people portray gays like this almost all the time. I might not be super masculine myself, I even look slightly feminine in appearance, but I don't really care about fashion, I mean I know what looks good and what doesn't look good as far as fashion goes, but I don't spend any of my free time analyzing it, and I do not wear makeup and I really don't care for makeup, I care for my skin and see a dermatologist which is why I have mostly clear skin and whatnot, but again it's not a hobby of mine, I think you understand my point by now, but I'm curious to know your thoughts on this. Tell me what you think ^^

Sorry if you have already might have heard this issue mentioned before, but I have not really seen much on it. Can you all tell me how you feel about this?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

You're 17, I'm 48... So yeah I have seen this about 3 decades longer than you....


If it helps... this isn't a new trend... Feel better? :biggrin:



Its the gender thing, its the same reason why video games have big busted women, and usually male protagonists where women are cast in narrow roles as per gender (Such as Links Girlfriend always needing to be saved).


As for the gay image... The sterotypes have a root in reality. (un)Fortunately we have a truely out and loud and proud clearly gay part of our population who makes everyone stay aware that gays exist. The Un part there is that since everyone sees them and never sees the 'straight acting' gay folk there is this idea that all gays are out, about, fem - noticeable.

Masculinity and emasculation is a problem for most males. The idea that gay men get it up the rear scares the masculinity part of many males. Forget for the moment that currently 64% of gay men don't want to have anything to do with anal. mind this is not a number I pull out of my arse - I have read it before on several sites and periodicals. The straight perception is every gay man wants his arse pounded.

Its the fear of losing ones masculinity, the idea that if you give it up to another man that you are emasculated that makes men intolerant of homosexuality.

Women don't suffer from a similar issue - women are already 'emasculated' and the idea of having sex with another woman doesn't carry with it some lost of womanhood - its just more emotional closeness and its ok.

For males (straight) three somes sound like a great idea, where better can one find such but with two women who are in serious need of a penis (the opposite of emasculate would be ????? well this is where that one comes to play).

I hate to break it to you, but men are really funny when it comes to their penis. The relationship between man and penis leads to men readily being destroyed by simply pointing between his legs and laughing. No seriously, one can make a man have ED, and total impotence just by pointing and laughing.

Why is this? IDK which came first the chicken or the egg? Did society and tradition slowly make up rules about masculinity and the penis, or did the penis and masculinity form society to be so 'hard up' about the matter of masculinity and penis?

Which ever, the reality is that the homosexual man presents an uncomfortable symbol of lost manhood which most men cannot cope with. Lesbians are just ways to prove ones masculinity, or at least try to via conquest.

[Cuddly]

I've found that heterosexual guys who have never met and talked to a regular gay guy, tends to be homophobic up until the point that he meets a gay guy. When faced with the fact that we're exactly like "them", they accept the diversity and actually become pro-gay. Most of my friends and my brother are excellent examples. They know me and they stand up for my rights, I'm just a normal guy, why shouldn't I be treated normally?
I also don't like seeing lesbian or straight sex. I even loudly exclaim EWWW at "those scenes". That doesn't make mr lesbophobic or heteroscared - making up words.

[meridannight]

unfortunately, everything Bowyn Aerrow said is true. he summed the underlying psychology and causes up pretty well.

masculinity does not tolerate a gray area in the common perception. you are either masculine or not masculine. it's like a digital value, an either-or. being gay is not the only thing that sets a man's masculinity under a question mark. guys crying, showing emotion, being vulnerable – all that is frowned upon and seen as a feminine behavior by some. i've even heard some people go so far as to claim wanting to kiss is a female behavior and men simply ''tolerate'' it to get laid, and that men don't really want to kiss. what a bunch of bullshit, especially the last one. but what're you gonna do?

this is sad, because i don't think liking men is a feminine thing at all, or something that should lower the masculinity of a male. if anything, the way i see it, liking men is a masculine thing on a male. it's men being with other men, hello? how the hell can that be a feminine thing? there's certainly nothing feminine going on between the sheets when i am with another man. it's all male parts and maleness there. at least i don't get it. it's like claiming two positives add up to a negative.

actually, it is the hallmark of true masculinity to pull off all those ''feminine'' things like showing emotion, etc, and still be a man when doing it. men have done it and successfully so. and, in fact, a lot of people agree with this.

[Yume]

Thank you everyone for your responses, and I thought that I was good at analyzing the psyche of people haha, but this has made me feel kind of better to be honest about how people react the way they react to my writing and even understand somewhat from where they come from...

I have to give a HUGE thank you to Bowyn Aerrow too merdannight also... and well Cuddly too X3

and yes Cuddly sometimes I react the same way to hetro and lesbian sex scenes X3

Okay, thank you and I'm sorry if this seemed like a stupid question to some people...

Thanks again ^^

[CuriousPhoenix]

I don't know if this will relate to your post but there is one series of books that has a sub plot about M/M love, The Black Dagger Brotherhood Series by J.R. Ward. The first half of the series deals with a lot of straight sex but then the author brings in a love story about two men, and they receive their own book to tell their love story last year. It was really good. It is one of the few books that I have seen Male on Male love and sex. The series is really good.

[CuriousPhoenix]

I have read a series of books called, The Black Dagger Brotherhood by J.R. Ward. They are a series of paranormal romances novels. It is a really good series. Well in the latter half of the series, the writer brings in sub plot about two men loving each other. These two men love story was finally given a book of its own to wrap up on last year. The book shows graphically love between two men and deals with the stereotypes about gay men, and how society frowns on them. It is a very good series, I recommend it for all.