Have you noticed lately? Rant alert!

[CarGuy65]

Has anyone else noticed lately that some of our fresh members are getting treated poorly? Let me expand a little. Let's say a member new to this forum post a question that has been asked many times in the past gets a rude "not again you dumbass" type of response from one or more of our established members. Then you never see their post count go up. It seems to me that they may possibly get offended and just go away thinking they are not in the right place.
I have noticed that the few members that do this to the "newbies" are not thinking before they reply.
Now I really respect these members that do this but some of the replies are just plain mean! If they are new to this forum and ask a question that has been asked before, should we not give them the respect as we would expect for ourselves? Another thought is that when I first joined, I did not know how to navigate this site to look up the answers I was seeking before I posted my question. Hell I still have not mastered this site and I am the first to admit that I am technologically challenged! Some newbies may be the same way.
All I am saying is give the newbies the benefit of the doubt. If they ask a question like "does he love me, am I boring?, am I really gay? , will I ever meet someone?, or is my dick too small?' Don't be mean! Just figure they are new and they just want some guidance. We need to be as helpful as we can and not scare them away! I hope the meanies will read this and think long and hard (no pun intended) before giving a mean reply.
. And.....so what if they post anonymously with a bag on their head! No need to call them names. Just be nice and not so mean! Has anyone else noticed this or am I the only one? Thanks for listening.

[trywait]

Has anyone else noticed lately that some of our fresh members are getting treated poorly? Let me expand a little. Let's say a member new to this forum post a question that has been asked many times in the past gets a rude "not again you dumbass" type of response from one or more of our established members. Then you never see their post count go up. It seems to me that they may possibly get offended and just go away thinking they are not in the right place.
I have noticed that the few members that do this to the "newbies" are not thinking before they reply.
Now I really respect these members that do this but some of the replies are just plain mean! If they are new to this forum and ask a question that has been asked before, should we not give them the respect as we would expect for ourselves? Another thought is that when I first joined, I did not know how to navigate this site to look up the answers I was seeking before I posted my question. Hell I still have not mastered this site and I am the first to admit that I am technologically challenged! Some newbies may be the same way.
All I am saying is give the newbies the benefit of the doubt. If they ask a question like "does he love me, am I boring?, am I really gay? , will I ever meet someone?, or is my dick too small?' Don't be mean! Just figure they are new and they just want some guidance. We need to be as helpful as we can and not scare them away! I hope the meanies will read this and think long and hard (no pun intended) before giving a mean reply.
. And.....so what if they post anonymously with a bag on their head! No need to call them names. Just be nice and not so mean! Has anyone else noticed this or am I the only one? Thanks for listening.

just give the benefit of doubt

[cunningluvr]

Searching for related posts can be very helpful before posting your own, unless you're terminally unique like I am and no matter how many times a question has been answered, if I ask it it's just a little different from all the rest.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Sometimes, people don't know how to search, or even realize the option is open to them. Sometimes, they really want to present -their- story and -their- experiences rather than just going off advice given to someone else's.

*Shrugging.*

I think it's important to treat people with respect and, as trywait said, give each the benefit of the doubt when it comes to them coming in and asking questions. You never know how being sarcastic or snarky is going to come off to others and effect them. It very well could be the last straw that breaks the camel's back, yeah?

I don't want to be that last straw.

[Camfer]

Perhaps the answer is that if some newbie sackface makes a pathetic thread and you are unable to be constructive about it, you simply ignore the thread. Chances are that there's one among us who's willing to respond in a helpful and kind manner to newbie sackface pathetic threads.

But I expect that the GSers who respond in a more colorful manner to newbie sackface pathetic threads feel they are being very helpful in their more colorful way. Sometimes brutal honesty breaks through to people.

I once saw a bumper sticker: "I'll try to be nicer, if you'll try to be smarter."

[Virge]

I feel this may be directed at me and I'm not upset about it of it is. I'm not going to get defensive about it and am glad CarGuy brought it up.

I have no problem with "newbies" posting threads about anything. If my advice to them sounds less than fluffy politically correct that's because I'm trying to give them a look at the reality many of them are trying to avoid. Next time you look at a newbie's question try to look at the way it's presented. Way over half of them aren't looking for advice or help with a problem. They are looking for people to tell them they are right about something that even they know they're wrong about. I'm not going to try to sugar coat anything I say in those situations in order to give them a look at the truth and some rational /critical thinking.

And then there's the Sackface issue. The anonymous threads that are truly being both abused and over-used. Here's what we do and don't know about them.

They could be newbies. They could be current members of GS. They could be JUST ONE member. They could from sincere members. They could all be just trolls.

I think the "anonymous" option is a good thing but it is being way overused and abused. It's gotten worse in the past months. It allows for all members to bring up embarrassing and deeply personal issues but what about these anonymous threads????....

Arguing about letting a BF have a pussycat?
Making the first move?
Your best sexual experience?
Do you think boring guys, introverts are dateable and able to get boyfriends?

Trying to be fair before taking the stand I've taken about this I went back and looked at the anonymous threads that have been started since I joined GS. I've read them all. It's amazing how they alllllllllll seem to be written in the same two styles and how many of them have the OP by an anonymous poster but not one single comment by him. Many if not most of the subjects of them would call for a total redefinition of what is considered embarrassing or personal.

Here's page 4 of the sackface threads since I've been a member. I'd appreciate if you look them over and give me your opinion if I'm wrong about them. Just ask yourself if you'd be embarrassed to post the same information under your own GS screen name.
https://gayspeak.com/search.php?searchid...=25&page=4

The bottom line is that with so many abuses are made of the anonymous option to posting threads it becomes impossible to tell which are sincere.

After you've looked things over and if your opinions are that I'm wrong about this I'll take that for what it is and forever drop the subject.

[Virge]

Perhaps the answer is that if some newbie sackface makes a pathetic thread and you are unable to be constructive about it, you simply ignore the thread. Chances are that there's one among us who's willing to respond in a helpful and kind manner to newbie sackface pathetic threads.

But I expect that the GSers who respond in a more colorful manner to newbie sackface pathetic threads feel they are being very helpful in their more colorful way. Sometimes brutal honesty breaks through to people.

I once saw a bumper sticker: "I'll try to be nicer, if you'll try to be smarter."

I wasn't even going to get on that subject, Camfer but since you brought it up.........

There's always a conflict between being "friendly" and giving honest advice. I answered a question about that recently and will go look for a link to it. People who want to be "friendly" will often lie and give a bunch of feel-good yak rather than risk hurting someone's feelings rather than dish up a big dose of reality.

That's why I NEVER seek advice from people who are friends with me. They care too much about my feelings and worry about saying things that they think will hurt. When I ask for advice I want the raw honest facts and undecorated reality --- not fluffy talk!

As for your last line Camfer... it needs to be Virgilized.. hahahahahhahahaha!

[SIZE="7"][COLOR="Red"]It's easier for me to be nicer
when people act smarter![/COLOR][/SIZE]

[Camfer]

Having your post Virgilized is a great honor! I'd like to thank my producers and all my fans.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

. And.....so what if they post anonymously with a bag on their head! No need to call them names. Just be nice and not so mean! Has anyone else noticed this or am I the only one? Thanks for listening.

Well depends on how the wearing of the bag is used. As Virgil pointed out, the use of the bag is getting a bit... ummmm... annoying.

https://gayspeak.com/member.php?u=16527 Click statistics and start reading what Anonymous has been posting, follow a few of the more recent threads - there is a feeling that someone is pulling a leg or three - funning around.

Someone is posting stuff that really doesn't need to be done anonymously. So its defeating the whole purpose of that feature, and makes me suspect Trolling.


Its just getting harder and harder to read Anonymous posts without having that nagging feeling someone is playing around with the feature...

And if my posts to newbies seem off, I remind I use humor (bad humor I know) and sometimes that humor is missed.

Those posts I don't want to say anything nice to by most members I just don't post in.

Well I do - I rant scream, use a full sailors dictionary, but never hit submit reply.

:tongue:

[Virge]

I'm working right now to find other forums that have anonymous options for starting threads. I've never been a member of one before GS and I've been in a bunch of them.

....... just saying....