I hate myself for hoping "hate that i love you"

[Bluelight]

And you're only 21 :eek:

Hehe well not millions, but a lot in the past ten years lol

[axejet]

Today when i woke up, i got ready, took a shower and didnt even strike a conversation, he asked for cigarettes i have him some... And i left and had lunch without him... We usually do but not today... I feel bad... But this is what i have to do...

[East]

Today when i woke up, i got ready, took a shower and didnt even strike a conversation, he asked for cigarettes i have him some... And i left and had lunch without him... We usually do but not today... I feel bad... But this is what i have to do...

I will help you a bit here...

It might be a little (or a LOT ) melodramatic BUT it did the job for me once...maybe you can listen to it and it will help you as well....won't hurt to try..eh?

PS...It goes good with a bottle of wine and a box of tissue...just let it rip

[Anocxu]

I will help you a bit here...

A bottle of wine and a box of tissue...just let it rip

He's right...!!!
Farting does make you feel so much better! !

[axejet]

Im in my bed right now i had my earphones on from the moment in stepped into our room... Im not sure if he said anything... All i heard was him offering me food and i thanked him and that was it... Hes on his phone right now, watching something i think... And im on my ipad watching my show... I dunno if hes gonna notice that im being cold to him... But oh well, i feel like this is what i need... Hope i move on fast... Goodnight guys.. Till tom...

[axejet]

Im weak today... I woke up thinking everything was okay with me, i set up my guitar and im about to go to a park and play some, then he texted me, wants to meet up and have lunch with him... With some instinct i just said yes... But deep inside of me thinking i should have said no... But were already here... Eating... The weird part is, im fine being here with him... Im not dying today... Which is good... Well, hopefully this is a start of me moving on... Im still cold with him though, i do not smile... Which is not me... But oh well, hope everything ends well... Have a good day guys....

[Borg69]

It's not really fair to him that you're being cold, mean, unsmiling... to him.

He's being, and been a friend to you. It's not his fault you fell in love with him. He doesn't know why you're being distant (& Rude!) with him. You're punishing him for a crime he doesn't know he's committed.

Sometimes life isn't fair... it's sad that you have such great feelings toward someone who cannot return them in the same way... Neither of you chose to be in that situation, but you're being unfair to him in retribution for something that wasn't his fault and taking it out on him... intentionally.

Perhaps you like him sucking up to you asking what's wrong and trying to break you out of your funk, but it's kind of a head game on him he doesn't deserve.

[axejet]

Thanks borg, ive realized that after our lunch i just became casual with him... Im acting all cool but not overly caring and sweet like how i was... I guess im just putting myself into place... Im not his boyfriend, i shouldnt be taking care of him too much... Ill just be casual with him, how a regular friend is towards a friend...