Can you be friends, or close friends, with someone when you haven't met?

[Rojo1990]

Okay so me and a friend were discussing the other day and he says you can only be real true friends with someone you have met and seen in person.

He says your friendship is not real unless you meet otherwise you won't be seeing or hearing their "real" voice even if you skype or whatnot.

I, however, don't agree with this at all. I have friends offline and online and I consider them to all be very real, true, close friends. Three of my online friends, Cali, Maik and Adi I have known for well over 10 years. and I consider all 3 of them very good close friends of mine.

So what do you all think? Do you have to meet someone in person to consider them as a real friend? Or will you be happy with only knowing them online?

[Jason74]

I think if you consider them a friend then that is all that matters and if you have never met them in person then so what, perhaps some day you will. Though I do think when it comes to social media like facebook when someone has like over a thousand friends that is kind of crazy because I am sure they are not true friends with all of them. I had my count up to like 359 friends on facebook and then decided to do some house cleaning and narrowed it down to like 150 people and have averaged that for a long time. Like 30 of them are family members, few ex boyfriends and people I have met doing seasonal work and a few that I haven't met in person and only know of and what not but they have become very cool and supportive people. Just my two cents

[Wardo94]

Everyone's different. The encounters and journeys one has with another individual, differs from one another. So you don't have to physically meet someone in order to "establish" that you're best friends or close. And everyone has a different definition of best friend and what not, so whoever you truly think is your best/close friend, is your best/close friend at the moment. So nobody else can validate that for you, but yourself and the other person who you're friend's with.

[Virge]

I'm like you Rojo -- I have friends online who are as close to me or closer than some "friends" in real life. There's more than a handful of them I want to visit this summer once my guy gets here. By visit I don't mean go and stay a couple of days with them but just hit the cities they live in and contact them to come have a bite or some drinks and hit the road again. There's a bunch of the guys here in GS that are on that list.

[wayward]

I have become friends with a talented artist two years ago that I have never met in person. He lives on the opposite side of the country myself, but we've become mutually supportive in ways beyond what most people hope for.

[ShiftyNJ]

I absolutely think you can. In some circumstances, the fact that the person is removed from your day-to-day life can invite candor and perspective that would not otherwise be possible.

IDK if any of you were part of LiveJournal when it was a thing, but I was immersed in a great group of people on there for the better part of a decade, and we got each other through all kinds of stuff. The nature of it meant you knew each other very well, and the trust level was high. I have met a number of those folks in person over the years and in most cases it immediately felt very comfortable. In some cases we could finish each other's sentences because we knew each other that well. I'm still in touch with most of them, many via Facebook, but it is not as "good" as the journaling community.

[East]

I think that it is up to each of us to define what friendship means versus letting other people do it for us. I do think online friendships are real and can be casual...meaningful...intense...deep...anything really.

I consider many people "friends" that I have met online and some I have known for many years now. I am quite fond of a lot of people I know online.

I have often heard the criticism that people online can say anything they want and it may or may not be true and my thought about that...the same thing happens face to face. LOL. I know...I worked in a bar and heard a lot of "stuff"....

[Borg69]

The internet is kind of magical in that you can make a sort of connection on the deepest cognitive level with people emotionally without actually being geographically in their presence. There are several members here whom I consider FRIENDS, whom I've never met face to face. Does geography make my feelings towards them any less real? I don't think so. I exist. They exist. WE just don't exist in the same geographical location.

I don't have to go to Mars to know it's there, and it's real. Having never seen it doesn't change my opinion of it. Feelings aren't tangible, but they exist. Validate them. Especially if they're towards people whom exist whom may not be immediately tangible to you at the moment.

[BlueStar]

From what I know, sometimes online friendships are even better than face-to-face, for I can speak about emotions that I can't tell in person. I've always dreamed of a real full best-friendship, with physical contact and everything, but my online friends (GS included) are actually giving me great help with my journey.

[meridannight]

So what do you all think? Do you have to meet someone in person to consider them as a real friend? Or will you be happy with only knowing them online?

yes, you do have to meet someone to be friends. online interactions are empty and meaningless. real physical contact and face-to-face interaction is paramount, and without it there is no substance. ergo no friendship, no relationship.