Boyfriend Won't Let Me Top

[Steve]

Listen quips16, your boyfriend seems to be a lying, selfish prick. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. You've been honest with him and he's lied to you from the beginning of your relationship. His excuses are pathetic in the extreme based upon your own observations. Accusing you of "cheating" with a sex toy is ridiculous.

Your boyfriend has issues. Unless you wish to make those issues your own - and you will if you stay with him - leave him. If you do stay with him it should be with the non negotiable caveat of therapy for him at a minimum. You may find it helpful as well.

My partner has stayed with me despite the fact that I have many mental health issues. But I don't lie to him. He knows my issues very well, and I know his. Most importantly, my partner knows I go to a therapist regularly and work on my problems. We're very honest with each other and often sit and talk through rough patches in our long relationship. Neither of us are perfect people, but we don't lie to each other. Avoidance or willful dishonesty about serious issues helps nothing in a relationship.

The differences between you partner and mine are worlds apart. I don't like game players, those who lie, and those people who have control/power issues. If your boyfriend wants to top endlessly, accuses you of cheating with rubber, and lies (badly) when it comes to meeting your needs in the relationship, he has real problems. Don't continue to make them your problems as well.

In all fairness I usually counsel people to communicate and work through their issues. Honestly, I don't see that working here. Go find someone who is more considerate of your needs. Breaking up with boyfriends is never easy, but it is sometimes necessary.
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[Cuddly]

Listen quips16, your boyfriend seems to be a lying, selfish prick. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. You've been honest with him and he's lied to you from the beginning of your relationship. His excuses are pathetic in the extreme based upon your own observations. Accusing you of "cheating" with a sex toy is ridiculous.

Your boyfriend has issues. Unless you wish to make those issues your own - and you will if you stay with him - leave him. If you do stay with him it should be with the non negotiable caveat of therapy for him at a minimum. You may find it helpful as well.

My partner has stayed with me despite the fact that I have many mental health issues. But I don't lie to him. He knows my issues very well, and I know his. Most importantly, my partner knows I go to a therapist regularly and work on my problems. We're very honest with each other and often sit and talk through rough patches in our long relationship. Neither of us are perfect people, but we don't lie to each other. Avoidance or willful dishonesty about serious issues helps nothing in a relationship.

The differences between you partner and mine are worlds apart. I don't like game players, those who lie, and those people who have control/power issues. If your boyfriend wants to top endlessly, accuses you of cheating with rubber, and lies (badly) when it comes to meeting your needs in the relationship, he has real problems. Don't continue to make them your problems as well.

In all fairness I usually counsel people to communicate and work through their issues. Honestly, I don't see that working here. Go find someone who is more considerate of your needs. Breaking up with boyfriends is never easy, but it is sometimes necessary.
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I do agree mostly, not so much with the last part. I do believe they can work this out and that there are underlying unknown issues on the bottoming part. Maybe he doesn't trust the OP enough? That could explain the no-swallowing and the no-bottoming, he's afraid of catching something, or whatever. Or maybe he just feels unclean and can't bring himself to say "dude, I'm shit dirty and I don't want you covered in my filthy wasteproducts while you're trying to enjoy yourself".

The one thing that flashes red lights is the cheating on him with-a-fucking-toy thing. Screams possessive lying cheating bastard, to me. Hopefully I'm wrong about that.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Yeah and I'm the one accused so often of being brutal in my truthfulness.



My gut tells me there is a lot more at play there than mere selfishness or someone being a prick.

[ChadCoxRox]

Life's too short and you're too young and vibrant to settle for a relationship that isn't fulfilling.

Write that down, keep it with you. Pull it out and read it to him. If his negligence in the relationship is a pattern, so is yours. Create a tension for growth or move on!

You both deserve better.