The Worst/Stupidest Lie That I have Ever Caught

[Jay]

I would like to rant. My apology.

Pardon my English too.

So someone in Instagram posted a video of him doing a leg press workout in the gym. In the same video, you can see two legs and butt stretching with the rest of person's body hidden by a weight machine.

One of his followers asked, " Nice bro. Is that a girl's ass I see?"

The leg press guy replied, "That's someone mom la ... blah, blah, blah..."

Well that so called girl or mom happens to be me.

I was stretching on the floor. I was there in the gym when he shot the video. And he sat on a bench next to where I was stretching after he took the video.

The annoying part is that he didn't even try to lie in a smart way. When you want to lie such way, make sure the so called "girl/mom" is not one of your Instagram followers.

This is not exactly the first time I caught him with such thing. I found out that he talks bad about me behind my back since last 2013.

I approached him when he was new in the gym and still had no friends. He was morbid obese (still am). So I thought I can help him out as I used to be super obese myself. I'm going to call him Harris.

I introduced Harris to my friends in the gym and one of them was my closest friend, Mr. T. He had a star struck with Mr. T's perfection from head to toe. He idolizes him in a creepy way.

I wasn't bothered by his attitude until Mr. T told me something. The guy accused me for using Photoshop to create my before and after photos. Same thing goes with my surgery scars.

I was upset.

Mr. T and I used to have a great relationship with each other until the guy comes into our circle. Mr. T and I constantly fought almost every single day because of him. Mr.T himself got caught with the idolization that he always defends the guy; even when he knows he's wrong.

Once Mr. T called me at around 12am in the morning asking for my help and advice. Harris' mother called Mr. T and informed him that Harris was having a fever. Apparently Harris told his mom great things about Mr. T and claims Mr. T to be a doctor. Mr. T is a student in dentistry. Harris told his mom that Mr. T is qualify to check his condition. So his mom then called Mr. T at around 2am and asked him to come to their house instantly to check his condition.

I thought it was creepy. Mr. T did too. But he obliged and went for a visit.

I can see miles away that Harris is a bad news and I did my best to pull Mr. T out of the his grasp.

"You're just jealous with my relationship with Harris" Mr. T once said to me when we were quarreling.

I once asked Mr. T if he's more comfortable with Harris or me.

"I'm more comfortable with him to a degree..."He replied.

I was surprised. Okay, I didn't take it very kindly.

The reason why I asked him that question was because I caught Mr. T holding hands with Harris whilst the three of us were watching X-Men in a cinema.

What baffles me is that both of them are straight. Mr. T denies that he is gay or bisexual many times with me.

Mr. T then explained to me that he likes to hold Harris because he is chubby. He likes to tease him and hugs him like a pillow. But he insists that he is not gay. I'm just wondering is it a fetish?

Mr. T also told me that he trust Harris and I evenly.

I said okay and I gave up.

One day, I walked up to Harris in our gym. I apologized to him as I probably did something wrong to him. I just wanted to end the madness.

Since that day, I treat Harris like my younger brother. I bought him a birthday present; an Incredible Hulk t-shirt specially ordered from United States. He loves Incredible Hulk. It costs me lots of money. But I was fine with it.

My relationship with Mr. T slowly becomes sour thanks to Harris. To make it worse, Mr. T and I were having another issue with each other. Mr. T sets a rule that I cannot speak to him in the gym. It was a long story. But Mr. T then ceased the rule months later. But it affects our relationship. I tried to avoid him as much as possible. We still went out once in a while and he did celebrate my birthday. But the sparks completely gone.

In my absence, Harris took the opportunity to take over my place beside Mr. T.

Two months ago, I got caught in an argument with Mr. T again. Harris told me that Mr. T has said bad things about me behind my back. He said Mr. T was trying to distance himself from me.

Harris then advised me to inform the gym owner, Terry about it as I am known as the golden boy in the gym. The gym owner doesn't like Mr. T as had issues with him in the past. I defended Mr. T in front of Terry because I know he didn't the things that he was accused of. Mr. T did hurt me along the way but that's another story.

I didn't inform the gym owner. I went directly to Mr. T for an explanation.

We fought at first. But then something hits the both of us. Harris told me that Mr. T has said bad things about me. He then told Mr. T that I spoke badly about him behind his back.

Mr. T did confess one thing though. He did talk about me behind my back to Harris when he was angry with me. But according to Mr. T, Harris 'misinterpreted' his words. Yes, Mr. T used the word 'Misinterpreted'. I sighed. Headache.

Mr. T apologized to me. I did too.

"I cannot lose you...I don't want to lose you..." Mr. T said to me.

Unfortunately my relationship with Mr. T has already fallen apart. I lost sparks to have a relationship with him. But Mr. T still wants to rekindle our relationship.

I haven't spoken and seen Mr. T for almost two months. Maybe one day I will give him a call and tell him that everything will be alright. We'll see.

Back to Harris and his Instagram. Contrary to what you may think, I'm not angry at all. I just had a 'Face-palm' moment. It's just idiotic. Tiring antique.

Harris likes to snap photos in front of weight machines such as squat rack. But he doesn't squat. He doesn't do workout in the gym. He just sits or wanders around in the gym doing nothing. He uploads those pictures on his Instagram to gain likes and followers.

Anyway that was my long rant. My apology again.

Thank you. I feel better now as I've never spoken about my problem with these two to anyone before. This thing has driven me mad since early 2013.

p/s: I have 'print screen' the Instagram image and another image. But I'm not allowed post the links as my posts in Gayspeaks are less than 50.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Your english is better than mine....


Apparently there is jealousy here.

You did a magnificent job with yourself losing all of that extra mass, getting surgeries, sticking to this new diet/exercise regime, most likely you spent about 90% of your time making certain you stick to this thing with the grim determination of a military poised to wipe out every last living unit of their enemy.

I don't know what all is going on in your life. Unfortunately you self deleted, so I can't find the posts from the Jay I once knew. But if memory serves (I'm getting old so it may not serve as well as it used to), you have been getting to be more and more of a health Nazi over the years.

What is a health Nazi? One who expends a great deal of time at 'improving' their health and becoming consumed with the subject. Now I'm not trying to steal your thunder or anything like that, you did accomplish a lot, but it seems to me you are spending more and more time at the gym - if not literally then in your head.

Now this may be just an appearance thing, I don't see you day to day, and you so rarely post. But thus far out of your five posts you have chimed in on the health aspect - weight loss, exercise. https://gayspeak.com/search.php?searchid=1122142 Appearantly other subjects just don't get your attention. Health and fitness draws you in to post.



Do you suppose that its possible that your diet/exercise life style is something you are talking about a lot more in real life, thus potentially sending this message (not intentionally mind you) that you are somehow 'better than' these people because you did all of that work and got where you wanted to get?

You got this morbidly obese guy (still is) who appears to look up to you, and this other fellow calling your achievements 'Photoshop'. I'm uncertain about the "star struck" with Mr. T really means, I assume that Mr. T has become an ideal to achieve????

Let look at that comment of yours:

He was morbid obese (still am). So I thought I can help him out as I used to be super obese myself. I'm going to call him Harris.

What were you really saying there? Do we need to now he was and still is morbidly obese? Are we to assume that there is a bit of judgment that he hasn't lost the amount of weight you wanted him to?

Its little things like that that can be construed as a jab at a person. You may not see it as such, but a person who has a weight problem may not see your 'simple' comment as being just a comment, but a judgement of them.

Terry about it as I am known as the golden boy in the gym.

Such comments from others are not going to win you favors with morbidly obese, or chubby people. So others may be not helping you maintain happy relationships with others.

I don't know the language of Malaysia, I have no idea how words work and what sort of contextual and emotional feelings there are to words there. Is it possible that you say innocent things to or around these guys can can be misconstrued as you judging them?

Also recall how you felt when you started out on your program of self improvement. If one your friends was always being 'helpful' about management of your diet and exercise program isn't there a bit of 'self hatred' that pops up? Wouldn't you be a wee bit unhappy to have the gym owner refer to this friend as 'Golden Boy'?

Is it possible that you have pushed the subject of gym, diet, exercise and your achievement a wee bit too much leading these fellows to be jealous that you managed all of this and for them they are not seeing rapid changes in themselves?

Thus pushing them together to unite as one to oppose this petty dictatorship of health and fitness?

Its one thing to see before and after pictures, its another to live through each and every moment that took place between those before and after pictures. Humans tend to get envious of accomplishment and are deluded into thinking that things are easier than they are, especially when the reference points are no the gradual, moment to moment life, but the drastic 'before and after' photos.

Then there appears to be a lovers triangle here. Or friendship triangle.

I think that the whole 'woman's butt' thing and the 'those photos are Photoshopped' point at a root cause of dissent. Other comments in your post smacks of a couple of guys who are tired of having their flaws rubbed in their face all the time, so they have united to fight back... Not consciously, but self esteem in the human mind is a highly important motivator to select that which reflects ones flaws to be 'the enemy'.

I have no idea why the hugging/touching and other stuff is going on. There appears to be in general a push away from the old hard rules that two dudes don't show affection to one another. At least in the Western world don't know if its happening there too - I assume yes due to the internet. I do know that some places like Korea, boys holding hands and cuddling is perfectly normal behavior and it is not at all reflective of sexuality or sex, its just two people being affectionate.

Since both of them are straight, I would warn you to not get too terribly emotionally involved with them. It seems to perturb you that they are affectionate, as if you are missing out on that. Are you a bit jealous of their closeness?

If so I hate to tell you this but getting involved with straight men never ends well.

There is also other things, like that don't talk to me at the gym phase, a mention of quarreling... It seems to me that you and your friends may have a lot of resentments piling up and each time you all get into a toss up over one thing all of that other stuff from way back comes rearing up as well.

I'm afraid that if you three can't have a serious sit down and airing of everything, then nothing can be salvaged or worked on.

You need to assess yourself in this matter. Step back as far as you can and look at the things you have done and said and try to figure out how a person outside of you would view your words and actions. You may be unconsciously sending a message to them you are not aware you are sending.

You also need to assess your motivations and drives as to why you are friends with these guys. "But the sparks completely gone" hints that this is more than friendship, perhaps a crush, infatuation, even love ????

Perhaps you just need to step back from them for a while? I don't know but from what you wrote there seems to be a lot of problems here, and a mixed desire to shove off yet come closer. also seems to be a bit of confusion about individuals sexuality and what and who they are. Harris and Mr. T claim to be straight, but then...... Who really knows?

I feel for you, and if any of that above sounds mean, it wasn't meant to sound that way. I'm trying to throw out a bit of perceptive and try to give you a potential view from their side here.

I do wish you luck with these fellas.

[Virge]

I made it to the word INSTAGRAM and stopped reading.

hahahhahahahahahahha

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Hmmmm......

[Jay]

HI Bowyn,

My apology as I didn't elaborate my story thoroughly. I was a bit hasty when I wrote it.

Hi Bowyn, yes, it's true. I was envy with their relationship. In fact, I've told Mr. T about it up front about it.

Mr. T and I met in our gym on 2012. We were extremely close.

On last Nov 2013, Mr. T had an issue with Terry, the gym owner. This was Mr. T's second case with Terry. Previously he had given Mr. T a warning letter to kick him out from the gym. But I wasn't around when the first case occurred.

During second case, Terry decided to publish about it on the gym's Facebook. Terry accused Mr. T to steal his gym members so that he can personally train them himself.

Mr. T was terrified of Terry's action. I calmed him down. I know that Mr. T didn't do such thing.

So on the next day after the case was published on Facebook, Mr. T asked me to accompany him to confront Terry. So both of us did. We confronted Terry but we didn't find any solution.

The other reason why Mr. T took me to see Terry was because I was the one they were fighting about. After I joined Terry's gym, I hired Terry for several months as my personal trainer. Throughout those months, I got close to Mr. T. Mr. T shares his knowledge on workout and dietary.

I eventually discontinued my personal training with Terry after several months as I was preparing myself for a surgery. But Terry thinks I discontinued because Mr. T influenced me. I've explained to Terry that I discontinued because of my surgery but he strongly believes it was due to Mr. T.

Terry gave Mr. T a final warning but he still allows Mr. T to stay in the gym. Mr. T wasn't happy with it. He was angry.

Mr. T asked me if I'm willing to leave the gym for another gym as he was humiliated by the whole thing. All of his gym friends didn't say a thing to defend him.

I considered him as my best friend at the time. So I told him that I'm willing to leave the gym for him. I told him that I will always be beside him through thick and thin.

We went to a lot of gyms but didn't settle permanently in any of it. Along the way, we become closer and closer to each other. I accompanied him day and night where ever he needs to be.

"I will take care of you, Jay." He once said to me whilst he drove us to a dinner before heading to a cinema.

We then found out that there is a new gym has been opened nearby to our old gym. So we settled in that gym.

Whilst we were there, I noticed that Mr. T wasn't really comfortable to train there. I can tell that he misses the old gym and his old friends.

So we had a discussion. I told him to return to the old gym if he wants to. I would love him to stay with me in the new gym but if he wants to leave, do it.

So he did.

I trained alone in that new gym after he left. I was lonely. I didn't return to the old gym because well, I already left on the first place.

On Dec 2013, the company that I was working with decides to close down it's Malaysia's branch. My colleagues and I lost our jobs.

I was devastated as I have been working in that company for 5 years.

I didn't tell anyone about it except to Mr. T. I wasn't ready to tell my family yet at the time.

I asked him to keep it as a secret as I trusted him with all my heart.

Few weeks after that, I dropped by to the old gym as Mr. T has left his workout accessory in the new gym. He asked me to send it and meet him up in the old gym.

I stumbled into Terry when I was heading to the old gym. Terry asked how I was doing. He asked why I have been missing in action for months (We left without telling Terry).

"Mr. T told me that your company has closed down and you lost your job." Terry said.

I froze.

I walked up to the old gym and handed over the accessory to him. I didn't utter a word as I was so angry with him. I trusted him.

As I headed home, I sent him a text message. I don't curse. But for the first time in my life, I cursed a person and that person was Mr. T. I said the F word.

I then apologized to Mr. T for cursing it.

But it was too late. Mr. T slowly pushed me away from that day. He focuses more on Harris and his other gym friends.

To save our relationship, I decided to return back to old gym. Terry found out that I trained in another gym whilst I was missing in his gym.

Terry's friend shot me with sarcastic words. "There's no place like home. You returned after all."

I informed about it to Mr. T. He didn't say anything about it.

After I returned to the old gym, Mr. T gave me a rule. He asked me not to talk to him in the gym as he doesn't want Terry to think that we talk about workout.

I thought it was absurd as we mostly talked about casual stuff in the gym.

But he said it doesn't matter.

We fought. In the end, I obliged his rule.

So every day, I watched him laughed with his other friends particularly Harris in the gym. He replaced me with Harris. I was pushed away to a corner.

He also asked me not to talk to few of his ex gym friends. He caught me once when I sought career advice from his ex gym friend who happens to be my friend too. He scolded me for days.

It went on for months.

I couldn't take it anymore so I eventually distant myself from him. I avoided seeing him in the gym by coming to the gym few hours earlier than him. I leave one hour before he reaches the gym.

I eventually stopped talking and seeing him for several months.

Terry noticed that I no longer speaks to Mr. T. He then asked me, "Jay, did something happen to both of you? Did he hurt you? If he did, I will force him to leave the gym for good."

Yes, I was hurt by what he did. I sacrificed for him and invested my friendship. But I told Terry that he didn't hurt me.

I denied because I don't want Mr. T's name to be ruined again. And because deep down I still consider him as my best friend.

On last May, I suddenly received a call from him. He asked for my help. Apparently Terry had a conversation with Harris about Mr. T. Terry is Harris' uncle.

According to Terry, he has forgiven Mr. T but he does not forget.

It caused Mr. T to panic.

Mr. T asked me to come see Terry instantly to tell Terry that he has changed and that he is still close to me.

I wasn't happy. I asked him, "Have you been using me all these years?"

I confess ... I even helped Mr. T to do his college assignment. A video presentation. It took me sleepless night to complete it. I know it was stupid.

He said no. He said friend should trust another friend.

I wasn't convinced. But I dragged myself to see Terry again. Mr. T did the whole work. I just stood there quietly like a mannequin.

Mr. T then sent me home. He left me a text message that says he wants to start fresh again with me.

But I was already broken. I had trust issue with him.

I stayed away from him for another months. He did his effort to rekindle our relationship.

Two months ago, I called Harris. During this time, Harris and I are no longer fighting with each other anymore. He was like my younger brother.

That was when he told me that Mr. T has been saying stuff about me behind my back. According to Harris, Mr. T laughed about me. Mr. T thinks I'm lifeless and rather spend time with his other friends. He told me that Mr. T was fed up hearing my job problem. And more.

I was again, devastated.

Harris advised me to inform Terry about it. But he asked me not to mention his name.

I thought thoroughly about it and decided to confront Mr. T instead.

Mr. T admitted that he has spoken about me to Harris when he was angry with me. But he insists that he didn't those things that Harris claimed. He said Harris misinterpreted his words.

We then realized Harris was trying to set a fire between both of us. According to Mr. T, Harris wants me to inform Terry so that Mr. T can be angry with me and discontinue his relationship with me. Then Harris can have Mr. T all by himself.

That was when Mr. T pleads to me. He asked me not to leave him and such.

I just said okay but admittedly my mind was completely messed by those two.

I slowly walked away from Mr. T from that day on. I haven't seen him for almost 2 months now.

What were you really saying there? Do we need to now he was and still is morbidly obese? Are we to assume that there is a bit of judgment that he hasn't lost the amount of weight you wanted him to?

Its little things like that that can be construed as a jab at a person. You may not see it as such, but a person who has a weight problem may not see your 'simple' comment as being just a comment, but a judgement of them.

My apology. I didn't mean it that way. Let me rephrase it. I went hasty with the long essay that I have used wrong words to fill out my rant.

It's another long story.

[Jay]

You did a magnificent job with yourself losing all of that extra mass, getting surgeries, sticking to this new diet/exercise regime, most likely you spent about 90% of your time making certain you stick to this thing with the grim determination of a military poised to wipe out every last living unit of their enemy.

I don't know what all is going on in your life. Unfortunately you self deleted, so I can't find the posts from the Jay I once knew. But if memory serves (I'm getting old so it may not serve as well as it used to), you have been getting to be more and more of a health Nazi over the years.

What is a health Nazi? One who expends a great deal of time at 'improving' their health and becoming consumed with the subject. Now I'm not trying to steal your thunder or anything like that, you did accomplish a lot, but it seems to me you are spending more and more time at the gym - if not literally then in your head.

Now this may be just an appearance thing, I don't see you day to day, and you so rarely post. But thus far out of your five posts you have chimed in on the health aspect - weight loss, exercise.

I deleted my old account because there was a heated argument occurred in GS at the time - Re: Dfiant. I didn't want to pick side as I love Dfiant and I was already having my own problem in the real world.

I also lost my job in the real estate company that I have worked with for 5 years. Then I was offered with two new jobs; in a bank or in an advertising agency. I chose the advertising agency. Unfortunately it was a wrong choice. The new job with the advertising agency was a complete disaster.

The agency wasn't able to pay my first month salary in one lump sum. Then they changed my salary contract without my consent. They forced me to sign the new contract or leave. My ex boss from the real estate company asked me to leave immediately but I needed money at the time so I signed it.

The agency reduced my salary and more. I was miserable and it was my fault.

I left the agency but they didn't pay me my last two months of salary. I have no one to back up me. The other colleagues just kept quiet.

Then of course, I have those two people to juggle in mind.

I ended up with a depression for several months. It was too much for me. I wanted to seek advice in GS but felt lifeless at the time.

I just recovered from my depression few days ago.

As for the Health Nazi, I have to keep up and maintain my fitness as I haven't finished my last three surgeries. My last two surgeries were cancelled by the hospital due to technical issues.

I have to keep improving my body because I still need to remove skin flaps around my body. I need to cut off my body fat percentage as much as possible so I don't need to redo my surgery again. For example, I already removed skin flap around my waist on last 2011. But then I continued to lose more fat. As a result, my skin becomes loose again so I have to redo my waist again.

On my last day in the ad agency, I was fully drained out and lost. I remember I almost fainted in the middle of a road. I wanted to cry so bad because I lost everything. My job. My future. My money was running out due to surgeries. My best friend. The only thing that was still with me and keep me intact was myself.

I mean yes, I have my family for support but my health and fitness what keeps me sane at the time.

I didn't go home after I left the ad agency. I just sat at a bus stop mindlessly. I've told my parents what happened but I didn't have strength to go home and see them instantly. So I went to my gym. It was empty at the time.

I just sat at a corner in my gym alone by myself doing nothing. I just stared blankly at a wall for almost 30 minutes holding my tears. I was falling apart. I didn't know what to do anymore.

That was when Terry saw me. He asked how I was doing.

I hesitated to tell him but eventually I did. I told him about my job. I didn't tell about Mr. T and Harris.

He asked me to calm down and get myself together. He advised me to change my clothes and do a workout. It should help me to not think about it.

I went back to the corner and slumped myself there for another few minutes.

In my mind, I was falling apart. My heart was broken to pieces.

I was so disappointed with everything that I discontinued my two sponsorship programs, World Vision and Suka Society. I have sponsored both programs for years. I sponsored a kid in India since he was a baby under World Vision. Suka Society is a non government organization that helps children in crisis - child trafficking etc. I didn't want to discontinue but I was just so ... I lost direction.
And my money was draining out at the time.

But I gave what Terry said a thought. I forced myself to change clothes and do workout. I didn't want to but forced myself.

Through working out, I was able to find a little comfort. It helps to make me stop thinking the misery that I was having. It reminds my identity and who I was before I fell apart; a young man with strong mental.

I left the gym feeling a micro bit better. I was still messed up inside.

I spent myself weeks in my bedroom. I didn't go to gym and stopped working out for several weeks. I just wanted to be left alone in my bed.

I was in a bad condition. My mind wasn't able to stop thinking about my job and my best friend. Day and night.

Do you suppose that its possible that your diet/exercise life style is something you are talking about a lot more in real life, thus potentially sending this message (not intentionally mind you) that you are somehow 'better than' these people because you did all of that work and got where you wanted to get?

No. I don't dictate other people because I know it's wrong to dictate. I was a victim of bullying in the past for years so that keeps me on the ground. When I was obese, I didn't like to be told and such. I still remember that hence I don't bother and dictate other obese people.

Yes, I approached Harris in the gym when he first joined in. I did so because I didn't want to feel left alone because I know how it feels like. I wanted to be his friend and introduced him to my other friends in the gym. I showed him my old photos and told him that it is possible to lose weight. But that was it. I didn't tell and force him to do workout.

Terry is Harris' uncle. Harris was sent by his dad to the gym so that Terry can train him to lose weight. But Terry stopped training him after several weeks.

So Harris approached one of my gym friends, Sean. He asked Sean to train him. He said he wants to be like Sean. So Sean trained him. But Harris quits on the very same day.

Then he said bad things about Sean to others.

After that, Harris went to another friend, Abe. Abe trained Harris. I was in the gym doing my workout alone when Abe and Harris did their workout. I wore a singlet and was doing pull up. Abe saw my long scars under my both arms and chest. He didn't know my background. So I told him a bit. Then I went back to my workout and left them alone.

Harris again quit Abe's training and said bad things about Abe.

Then it was Mr. T's turn. Harris said he wants to be like Mr. T. Perfect Greek god body. Again, Harris only lasted for a day or two. Mr. T was so angry that he asked Harris to see me as a role model. I didn't say anything.

Harris then approached me. He asked if I can train him. I said okay. I didn't even start my training with him yet when he decides to quit. He quit because I gave him words of advice. I told him that whatever you do, don't give an excuse and just do it. He didn't take my advice to kindly.

He complained about it to Mr. T. He told Mr. T that he dislikes me. He also accused that I used Photoshop to make my before and after photos. Mr. T scolded him for that and told me everything.

I was upset and then left him with Mr. T as he likes Mr. T a lot.

You got this morbidly obese guy (still is) who appears to look up to you, and this other fellow calling your achievements 'Photoshop'.

Harris didn't look up to me as I explained above. I didn't elaborate my story thoroughly. My apology.

Mr. T told me that Harris dislikes me for what I have achieved.

What I meant by golden boy is Terry sees me as this sort of achievement. He was really proud of me.

When I joined the gym, I didn't tell anyone about my history. I kept myself quiet and low profile. Only Terry knows as I hired him as my personal trainer. But Terry was so proud that he began to tell everyone in the gym one by one. Then everyone sees as this golden boy. I even ended up in the gym's Facebook as a 'superhero'

I didn't ask for any of these. I was just looking for a personal trainer who can assist to strengthen my body and to prepare me for my upcoming surgeries.

Harris doesn't like it. Because people left to right began to talk and compare him with me.

I didn't say anything. I just kept myself quiet with my own workout.

Im uncertain about the "star struck" with Mr. T really means, I assume that Mr. T has become an ideal to achieve????

Mr. T is seen as the most popular guy in the gym. Other gym members see him as perfection from head to toe. He comes from a rich family. A very good looking guy with a perfect height and Greek god body. He's intelligent too.

So everyone wants to be him and wants to be with him. Except me. I think. We are apple and orange. I come from a different background. I know from the get go that my physical can't look like other gym members. I accept that and will just do my best to reach my finest potential.

I had no idea of the craziness with Mr. T amongst gym members until months later.

Whilst I do admit that he's very good looking, I have never cared for him. Except for his charm and personality.

He approached me. He called me day and night for hours every day. We went for movies, lunch and dinner on every weekend. He called me, Babe.

I eventually fell in love with him.

I was aware that he is straight but I told him. I told him so that I can move on and make a transition to make him my best friend instead of a lover.

He accepts it openly.

[palbert]

I congratulate, admire and respect Bowyn Aerrow for being able to construct such an appropriate response.

[Jay]

What were you really saying there? Do we need to now he was and still is morbidly obese? Are we to assume that there is a bit of judgment that he hasn't lost the amount of weight you wanted him to?

Its little things like that that can be construed as a jab at a person. You may not see it as such, but a person who has a weight problem may not see your 'simple' comment as being just a comment, but a judgement of them.

No. That wasn't what I meant. My apology. I should rephrase it.

As I've said, Harris' dad sent him to Terry to lose weight. But Harris refused. Even after gym members volunteered to help him out.

I left myself outside the whole thing and did my own workout quietly.

I only got involved when he approached. I gave him advice and he didn't like it. He complained about it to Mr. T.

What makes me involved in Harris' confrontation is Mr. T.

Harris idolizes Mr. T to the bone. He calls Mr. T his big brother. He said he will watch over Mr. T and he requested Mr. T to watch over him.

Harris would do anything for Mr. T. He becomes Mr. T's eyes and ears in the gym. Basically a spy as Mr. T has few people dislike him. So Harris will report to Mr. T everything via phone call or text message after gym time.

Mr. T was really taken by the idolization. Mr. T admits to me that he has a bit of ego so he enjoys being looked upon by other gym members. The other gym members even set up a special chat room under Mr. T's name.

I wasn't fascinated by the whole thing. Mr. T knows that.

Anyway Mr. T and I were extremely close. Everyone in the gym knows that. Harris sees me as a challenge as he wants to be close to Mr. T too.

Whilst Mr. T does enjoy the idolization given by Harris, Mr. T was strangely more attracted to me. Harris sees that and he doesn't like that.

The idolization by Harris eventually creeps Mr. T a bit.

Every night, Mr. T called me for hours to talk about Harris' idolization. He admits it's creepy but he enjoys it. At one point, Mr. T thought it was too much and told me that he wants to stay far away from Harris. But Mr. T befriend Harris few days later as he misses the idolization.

I just listened.

Harris stepped up his game to get closer to Mr. T.

Mr. T once asked me to buy an e-book from the Internet. I did. I bought the e-book and made two copies of it. One for him. One for me.

One day, I brought my copy to the gym. I kept it in my locker whilst I did my workout.

Then Harris called me. He was holding my book. Mr. T stood behind him like ... I don't know, he was just smiling.

"Is this your book?" Harris asked me.

"Yes, why?"" I was confused. I looked at Mr. T for a hint or something.

"Are you sure this is your book?" Harris asked me again.

"Yes." I said again.

"Mr. T has a copy of this book too." Harris insisted. Mr. T just smiled.

"Yes, it is mine!" I answered firmly. I looked at Mr. T. I was wondering why he didn't say anything to defend me. He knows that I have made two copies. It was like he enjoys two guys fighting over him. My god.

Then of course there was an incident of us in a water theme park.

Mr. T and I planned to go to a water theme park. We invited another good friend of ours, Peter from Ireland. Peter considers Mr. T as his best friend too.

During that time, Mr. T had a confrontation with Harris. But the thing is he has already promised Harris that he can come along to the theme park.

So Harris joined along.

Mr. T told me upfront that he wants me to sit at the front seat beside him whilst he drives his car. He doesn't want to sit beside Harris.

I said okay.

When were in the theme park, all of us decided to forget whatever confrontation we were having with each other. Everything went smoothly until the last ride.

Peter and I wanted to go to a haunted house so badly. Mr. T want to go too.

But Harris said no. He told Mr. T he will have trauma if he goes to a haunted house. Yes, Harris used the word, trauma.

Peter and I just looked at each other like stupid people. Mr. T then agreed that we shouldn't go to the haunted house. We shouldn't left Harris alone.

I wasn't happy. But I obliged.

Before we left the theme park, all of us wanted to take photo altogether. I took their photos - Mr. T, Harris and Peter.

Then it was my turn. Mr. T asked me to stand beside him. I also wanted to stand beside him. So the idea was Peter takes the picture with Mr. T in the middle and Harris and I on his left and right.

Harris refused.

He wants the arrangement to be Mr. T follows with Harris and then me.

Then there were few other incidents occurred.

What bothers me the most about Harris is he likes to lie a lot. When he lies, Mr. T complains about it to me and then we will fight with each other.

Harris doesn't represent other obese people. But he gives a bad presentation of an obese in our gym.

Everyone knows his behavior.

When he joined the gym, he was obese. Then he refused to train and talked about bad about everyone in the gym.

He then bought and wore a t-shirt, "Six Pack Ab Coming Up." Everyone made fun of him including Terry and his fiance. Well except me. He snapped a photo of him with that t-shirt and uploaded it on Instagram to gain likes and followers. He puts tags such as Working Hard in the Gym and more. Everyone else who doesn't know what was happening in the gym votes him up and said, "Great Job!"

Then Mr. T took a photo of his clean meal and sent to Harris' mobile phone. Mr. T wants to show him how to eat cleanly and healthily. Harris took the photo and showed it to Terry. He said this is what he ate for his meal. Then he uploaded to his Instagram and said that was his meal. He added tags like Always eat clean etc.

Mr. T found out and was furious. But it only lasted for several days.

Harris clearly told Mr. T he doesn't like healthy food particularly veggies. His favorite food is McDonald's and he needs it every week.

Once, Mr. T, Harris and I went to a South Korean buffet restaurant. Harris didn't want to eat certain food. Mr. T spoon fed him. I was like in horror watching it.

Harris likes to take photos with weight equipments in the gym and pose with them. He then upload the photos on his Instagram and claims he did workout with those weight equipments.

Everyone in the gym knows that he just sits and wanders around. Doing nothing. Then everyone laughs and talks bad about him. Including Mr. T. They loved making fun of him.

I continued to do my own thing.

Harris joined our gym on early 2013. He gains more weight but he continues to upload those photos on Instagram. Now with videos too.

Mr. T complains to me all the time. I didn't want to get involved but was dragged into it. We ended up fighting with each other.

Again, what makes me irritates me with Harris is he gives a bad name to obese people who are trying to lose weight. He gives a wrong representation by lying to people again and again.

I hope I make things a bit clear now. If I do not, please tell me. I try to elaborate further.

[Jay]

I forgot.

When I first Mr. T, I didn't know that he was straight.

He sent me a text message, "Would you watch a movie with me?"

I didn't know how to interpret it. It could be a date or just an outing between two new friends. I chose the latter.

He picked me up and drove us to the cinema.

"Have you eaten your dinner?" He asked gently.

"No, I haven't. But it's okay." I told him.

"If you want, we can stop by at Subway so you can buy your dinner. I'll wait." He replied.

I told him it's okay.

Mr. T always reminds me ever since, "If you are more comfortable to watch a movie just the two of us, just tell me. I also prefer to watch a movie just the two of us."

Then one day after we exit our gym. He was carrying his gym shoes in one hand and gym bag with another hand. He wanted to give me a ride home.

"Jay, can you please grab my car key." He smiled.

"Where is it?" I asked.

It was in his short that he was wearing. I didn't understand why he didn't just ask me to carry his bag so he can grab it himself.

But I did it anyway.

When I was in the gym doing my workout, he approached from behind and held me.

"I would like to take you to a special place for dinner..."

And oh yes, on one Saturday morning. Again I was in the gym with Mr. T. He wore a skimpy black t-shirt showing off his pecs. He walked toward me whilst he shook his pecs. I have no comment on that.

So yes, I actually thought he way gay until I found out that he is not. By then, it was too late. I already fell in love with him. But I eventually able to let go of that feeling and saw him as my best friend.

I have already moved on from Mr. T and Harris. Those two months not seeing Mr. T allow me to think straight. It allows me to forget him and move forward. I was happy. I only see Mr. T as a regular friend now.

Until Harris posted that Instagram yesterday. And now I'm being bombarded with text messages from Mr. T again. He asked me to visit his clinic.

Regarding to my depression, what brought me back is my strength and my dad.

My dad was diagnosed with tumor in his stomach when I was working with the advertising agency. He had his surgery several weeks after I left the agency.

I was a mess a the time. But my parents needed me in one piece.

Whilst my dad was in the hospital, my mom accompanied him by sleeping in the hospital ward. I was responsible to watch over my big sister, do the dishes, wash clothes etc. My mom asked me to accompany my sister where ever she needs to go as she doesn't go outside alone. My big sister handles the cooking and finance. My big brother drives my sister and I to hospital every morning and evening. My younger brother wasn't able to help as he lives in another state.

So my sister and I went back and forth every day to hospital. It was exhausting weeks.

My dad was still wide awake when he was released from the surgery room. He had his oxygen mask. Tubes here and there. He groaned. He said he was in pain.

It was difficult to watch. I almost had tears.

My mom also needed my help to clean my dad's waste and change his diaper. Since I was the only male sibling available, I helped to lift and carry my dad.

Hence why my mom needs me to be strong and in one piece. I fought the sadness that I was having by thinking that my family needs me. I struggled to fight the depression but I did my best.

I remember what my dad told me when he was on his hospital bed.

"Take care of your body. Stay healthy." He smiled at me.

I nodded.

Seeing my dad on a hospital bed gives me this new perspective about life. Yes, I had a very rough life but I cannot give up. My family needs me. I also want to return my favor to my parents. I want them to be proud. Yes, I know they are proud of me but I believe I can do much more.

Speaking about why I only posted in Health & Fitness section. I don't know. After what I went through with my depression, I felt like I'm not in the position to post anything in the Advise section. And I was too sad to join a cheery/causal discussion.

Fitness section was the only the section that I felt I can relate to at the time.

Thanks Bowyn for the good advice.

[SETH]

Poor you.
....