about friends replying

[Hardheaded1]

As trite as it sounds, a good maxim is "to have a good friend, you must be one."

Caring about others, reaching out, listening, playing, helping, joking, trusting, sharing, and eating together lead to more of the same in reciprocation.

Get out there and have a ball.

[princealbertofb]

Lonelylad, your friends are not close to you physically, and I'm not sure what sort of friends they were before they went off to university, were they people you actually knew in real life? You have to realise that being away from you and your daily life will make them slowly grow apart from you. If they were good friends to start with, when you both reconnect, you'll probably think that nothing has changed, despite being away from each other for a long time. I have friends like that, whom I've lost contact with because they live their lives in places that are inaccessible for me now. But when I see them again, it rekindles that old spark. At the moment, I think you could really do with some live flesh and blood friends, so people who live close to you and that you can go out with on a regular basis. Do you think there's anyone that you could do that with? Maybe at first it'll just be an acquaintance, someone you've met in your workplace or at uni (not sure what you are doing now?), or maybe even just on a chance encounter in the street, or a sports ground, or at the cinema or a museum... To find new friends it is often a good idea to join a group of people who enjoy doing something together, something like singing, acting, painting or art, going for walks, going to the cinema, reading books, cooking, or hanging out at the bar. You can join a course for something more to add to your skills; A foreign language? Technology course? Or belonging to a sports activity group. Is there anything that would get you out of the house and away from your computer screen?

[DonJon]

Nicely put, Hardheaded1! I totally agree with you.

Just continue to reach out to new people and widen your network, lonelylad. Learn to be subtle and relaxed when making friends. Be kind to people cause you don't know them yet personally. And most importantly be kind to yourself. No one is alone. mile:

Wishing you all the good and the best!

Hi there.

First, friendships are inherently unequal, even when they are strong. The three you cited plainly are less enamored with you than you are with them.

Your best path is to continue to reach out to new people. Keep making new friends. Eventually, you will garner friends who seek your company as much as you seek theirs.

We all have to start off where we are with what we have. Don't scorn the three you have because they aren't enough of what you want. Accept them for who they are and like that. But, do move on to gain closer friends.

And, consider rethinking your self-image. If you choose to self-identify as "lonely lad," you may well be putting out signals that you are depressed or needy, which could cause friendships to be more difficult to form. Think of your positive traits and think of yourself that way -- others will too.

[princealbertofb]

thank you for your suggestions friends. i think i have to put myself out more and try to make more new friends. wish me good luck for my venture.

We do, wish you good luck, that is.

[lonelylad]

princealbertofb, yes i knew them in real life before. there is a youth group that organises group tours to neighbouring states often. i intend to join the group during my next vacation. i also am trying to make some new friends in my class. it is just that my shyness is holding me back. i like going to childrens' home and helping out. and i like fishing too.

[princealbertofb]

Fishing is a bit of a lonely sport, though... and not much talking. Have you thought of taking up dancing? Or are you not interested? Dancing gets you to know lots of people. Ok, some of them will be female friends, but does that matter?

[lonelylad]

thank you very much for your wishes friends

[lonelylad]

i like western dance. maybe i should give it a try. i am alright with having female friends. thanks for your suggestion princealbertofb