Unusual night...

[reaper]

Hello GS. Where to begin...

So last Friday I went to some gay bars with my bondage buddy, the other guy in the club he hooks up with, and the other guys husband, and a few others I didn't know.

Fun night, my buddy was pretty wasted and lot's of making out and stuff of that nature. It was a crazy time, but lot's of fun.

Sunday was club night, as is usually the case, my buddy was far more distant and somewhat distracted by events outside the club. The other guy (the one he hooks up with) had to work so he was there at the beginning of the night and returend at the end to help close up.

I was drinking which is typical there. However, I drank more than usual and as you may imagine, this was not such a good thing.

I ended up talking to the owner of the club (who I talk to regularly and is very close to the other guys mentioned). I tell him about my asking my buddy if he wanted to hook up and tell the tale I've mentioned in here. That's not a big deal really, but I did mention something my buddy said that I would undo if I had the chance. Nothing thats a big deal, but not really for me to have said imo.

That was event number one.

Then I was talking to another club member who I know in lose way. We end up playing around a bit, while doing so my buddy at one pont was sitting next to us and I kind of seen him look over and notice. It is a sex club, and we weren't doing anyting over the top, but I don't usually do anything with guys in there besides the bondage during scenes.

As this is going on I miss my window to catch the bus. It's a Sunday night and I have work early on Mondays. I blow it off as not a big deal, stay to the end of the night, and use uber to get home.

I get home late as hell, get about 3 hours of sleep, sleep through my alarm and end up going to work an hour late. (Supervisor is always late and not there so this went unnoticed).

I'm dead tired all day. Not to mention VERY stressed and concerned/embarrassed about the evening.

All the above mentioned is not my nature. Friday is club night (a post thanksgiving party) and I'll be going. I'm not sure how my buddy is going to react to all the above mentioned things.

I plan to mention how stressed I was on Monday, missing the bus, staying later then I should have, being late for work, and drinking to much and acting out of character.

In my own mind I've painted this picture with the darkest colors, and alos in the way I've told the story. I hope putting to much weight on one night of sloppy drinking, but I won't really know until I'm there and see how things feel.

I don't know why I drank so much and how I let things unfold the way they did.

This is a mistake at this place I will not make again.

Oh, I haven't mentioned this stuff in a while. I'm no longer trying to hook up with this guy. At some point if events were to lead to something I'd still be game. But in no way am I actively pushing for anything. He's really young, has to much already going on, and the hot and cold thing is to confusing to me. If we had a sexual relationship, that last part would become an issue for me.

That's it. I've gotten a lot of praise in here in regards to my self awarness and awareness of others and things of this nature.

It's always nice, but I'm still a flawed man and do fuk up from time to time.

I'll provide an update Saturday, I'll tell if I've made it worse than it is, or it's worse then I thought.

[reaper]

Oh yeah, I forgot. I said something to him meant as a joke ( a compliment really ) but his reaction was strange. Not offended, but he didn't take it the way it was meant to be taken. He was odd all night really, I noticed this long before I became a puppet.

All of these things alone wouldn't seem to bad. But together it's just messy.

[MikeW]

Sorry, reaper, I'm not getting the problem. So, you got drunk and behaved more spontaneously than usual. And the problem with that is??? For sure, getting waisted can be a problem or set the scene for problems, but if it doesn't happen often, and so long as you don't hurt yourself or anyone else, I don't think it's a big deal.

Or, am I missing something?

[reaper]

Sorry, reaper, I'm not getting the problem. So, you got drunk and behaved more spontaneously than usual. And the problem with that is??? For sure, getting waisted can be a problem or set the scene for problems, but if it doesn't happen often, and so long as you don't hurt yourself or anyone else, I don't think it's a big deal.

Or, am I missing something?

Hey Mike,

I didn't do anything crazy or bad, I just was acting in some ways outside of my nomral character. The guy who owns the place who I told the entire story to, and parts that I now feel weren't necessarily mine to tell, has dinner with my buddy and the other guy every week. They talk a lot, and he will most certainly bring this stuff up. I was led to believe that he knew about all of this, but that may not have been the case. I think I was a bit more lose lipped then usual, not as reserved as usual. Hopefully I'm making a bigger deal out of it all then was really the case, but I can't really be sure until Friday.

But yes, I certainly was more spontaneous! lol. Hopefully not to much so.

[LEANDRONJ]

Reaper I know you are young, and as expected during this stage in your life you are going to do a lot of crazy and out of character things, which is normal by the way! for your sanity and overall well being I do hope you are active in other areas!?

[Camfer]

You might think you're older, Reaper, but once you first make the leap that you have a gay side, you are like a teenager all over again. So you get drunk, say stupid things you regret, have awkward conversations with guys you like, pick guys that aren't at all right for you, etc. This is all to be expected. Just chalk it up to a second maturation process. It's a pretty typical thing that gay guys experience when they come out to themselves late. If you'd come out to yourself in high school you could have just done all this back then.

If you said some things while drunk and don't want them to go any further. It's perfectly okay to talk to the guy and say, "Hey, I said some stuff the other night, but it was the liquor talking and not me. Thanks for keeping all that crap to yourself."

[reaper]

You might think you're older, Reaper, but once you first make the leap that you have a gay side, you are like a teenager all over again. So you get drunk, say stupid things you regret, have awkward conversations with guys you like, pick guys that aren't at all right for you, etc. This is all to be expected. Just chalk it up to a second maturation process. It's a pretty typical thing that gay guys experience when they come out to themselves late. If you'd come out to yourself in high school you could have just done all this back then.

If you said some things while drunk and don't want them to go any further. It's perfectly okay to talk to the guy and say, "Hey, I said some stuff the other night, but it was the liquor talking and not me. Thanks for keeping all that crap to yourself."

lol, this is all so true. I am older, but I do feel like a teenager getting his first taste of freedom. This is all so knew I'm no where close to getting my feet planted to the ground. I feel like I'm seeking something, but as logical as I try to be, I am clueless to what that thing is. I've also taken an odd path on this journey so far...but I'm enjoying it just the same.

[reaper]

So last night was a special post Thanksgiving club night. It's usually a Sunday thing.

Anyway, this was the first one since my night of drunken behaviour. Fortunately it wasn't as bad as I thought, although the fact that I was visibly drunk was mentioned.

I said I was embarassed by the whole thing and it was unusual for me to get that way.

That aside, it was probably one of the funnest nights I've had there. Lot's of play, I helped top several times, I bottomed for the 2 guys I'm friendly with....it was a hot night.

After we all (the 2 guys I play with and the owner) went to a diner and got some food.

I told them about my plans to move to the city.

I had a total of 3 drinks during the night....their was NO chance I was having a part II from the week before.

That's about all!

My new shorter hair was well recieved, lol.

[meridannight]

Sunday night a club night? don't you people rest?

[reaper]

Sunday night a club night? don't you people rest?

Haha, they rent the space once a week. I'm sure it's a financial thing. I was telling them how great it was to do it on a Friday. But I'm sure it's more expensive.