Met a guy, but he is strictly a bottom.

[SomewhereTexas]

So I found this website on Google since I couldn't find a answer I wanted.

So I'll start off a little about myself. I've only dated women my whole life. I've always liked guys but just started talking to guys this past year. Still a virgin, because I prefer men. I'm masculine, to a point where people would be surprised to see me with a man. I weigh 180lbs and am very muscular.

Anyway, I met this guy online, who seems pretty great in every way, we've been talking for a while and I just found out he is a bottom, he has tried being a top, and said it wasn't his "cup of tea". I would assume myself versatile, but more of a bottom, probably 60/40 (bottom/top). So my question is, do bottom-bottom/top-top relationships work? Am I wasting my time with this guy? I mean we haven't met, I'm not in love, so should I just move on? Generally looking for opinions from people who have been or are in a similar situation.

Thanks in advance

[JackTX]

So I found this website on Google since I couldn't find a answer I wanted.

So I'll start off a little about myself. I've only dated women my whole life. I've always liked guys but just started talking to guys this past year. Still a virgin, because I prefer men. I'm masculine, to a point where people would be surprised to see me with a man. I weigh 180lbs and am very muscular.

Anyway, I met this guy online, who seems pretty great in every way, we've been talking for a while and I just found out he is a bottom, he has tried being a top, and said it wasn't his "cup of tea". I would assume myself versatile, but more of a bottom, probably 60/40 (bottom/top). So my question is, do bottom-bottom/top-top relationships work? Am I wasting my time with this guy? I mean we haven't met, I'm not in love, so should I just move on? Generally looking for opinions from people who have been or are in a similar situation.

Thanks in advance

It just depends on the 2 people involved and what they're willing to do to make a relationship. But if you both can't find satisfaction after trying, that could be a problem.

[Lexington]

Maybe. It'll depend on the guys.

* You might decide topping him is so amazing that you don't mind not getting to bottom.

* You might decide the rest of the relationship is so good, that you'll accept not bottoming.

* He might end up being OK with topping you once in a while, or using a dildo on you.

* Or you might both draw a line in the sand which neither of you is willing to compromise on, and break up.

Lex

[SomewhereTexas]

It just depends on the 2 people involved and what they're willing to do to make a relationship. But if you both can't find satisfaction after trying, that could be a problem.

So do you think I should keep going with this? Does it tend to work out most of the time or not really?

[SomewhereTexas]

Maybe. It'll depend on the guys.

* You might decide topping him is so amazing that you don't mind not getting to bottom.

* You might decide the rest of the relationship is so good, that you'll accept not bottoming.

* He might end up being OK with topping you once in a while, or using a dildo on you.

* Or you might both draw a line in the sand which neither of you is willing to compromise on, and break up.

Lex

But what usually happens?! If there is such a simple answer

[Lexington]

There isn't a "usually". If you have two guys who are absolutely, don't-bother-questioning-me bottoms, they'll almost certainly break up. If you have two easy-going guys who have a lot more give-and-take, they almost certainly won't. (Not about this, anyway.) It'll come down to how firmly they plant their flags, really.

Lex

[MountLogan]

I see your 18 I dont want to say it will not last (because it can), however, you may not be with this guy for your whole life and from what I understand you are not openly gay yet since you say people will be surprised to see you with a man. Your still at a stage of figuring thing out, samething for your boyfriend unless he is way older. So sexual preferences may changes. In this context I don't think you lose your time with this guy if you have a connection and like him. If you were planning meeting the guy I would say OK yeah it may be a problem but not yet. Anyway this is my point of view.

[Virge]

Good original question from a newbie for a change! Usually newbies come in asking about how to get in the bed with the straight guy they're crushing on. Thanks for not doing that.

July 2005 I had my first gay experience the night before I left for the marine corps with a friend I'd known since 5th grade. We jerked off ourselves and each other once talked a bit and he wanted me to top him. I did and it was pretty much like doing a girl for me. No big deal.

Fast forward to December 2006 and I met a guy I was really attracted to. I mean REALLY attracted to in a way I never felt attracted to any girl or guy. He told me he was a top and I probably nodded but all I could think about was fucking him. I was ready to rape him and pretty much did except he never said no to anything that night.

Now fast forward to 2014. I'm still with that guy. Mostly he bottoms about 80% of the time because I spoiled him about it. If you're still a virgin you need to learn about that. The rest of the time we do oral or when he's in the mood or I push the issue he tops. He's been with way more guys than I have and I'm going to take his word for it that I'm better than any of them as a top. I accept that. No big deal. I enjoy the crap out of topping or bottoming or giving or receiving oral with him -- because it's him.

Don't try to make yourself fit into a role. If you're a virgin or even a semi-virgin you really can't tell for sure that you're a top or a bottom. It's going to depend on the guy, the chemistry between you, the situation, the mood, and maybe the moon cycle and the way the cookie crumbles who does what to who.

5'10" 180lbs and muscled means most guys are going to automatically look at you as a top. The size & build issue is a big thing most the time in who's going to do what. That's just the way things work out so deal with it and accept it.

My guy is 5'8+" 155 lbs and brick hard muscle from calves to shoulders and people automatically assume he's a top... until they see him with me... 6'6" 185 (skinny now and about to be building back up) Sure, sometimes I have fantasies about being more of a bottom than I am in my relationship but it's not always about that. What my guy likes is a great big part of me being the top most the time.

Don't worry about it too much and just go do your thing and don't try to fit into any roles until you have a reason to with a guy you like a lot.

[SomewhereTexas]

Well im 18, he is 22. And generally (psychology class) older men who like younger men are tops, while younger for older tend to be bottoms. I've never been on a date with a guy and not had him insanely attracted to a point of becoming an annoyance (not trying to sound cocky). Not exactly sure what I'm trying to get at, just trying to give enough details. I was going to ask him on a date tonight but now I'm unsure, if you were in my position what would you do?

And btw most people think im 21-22 on first glance, if that helps.

[JackTX]

But what usually happens?! If there is such a simple answer

Of course not. We're not machines, man!