Met a guy, but he is strictly a bottom.

[SomewhereTexas]

I see your 18 I dont want to say it will not last (because it can), however, you may not be with this guy for your whole life and from what I understand you are not openly gay yet since you say people will be surprised to see you with a man. Your still at a stage of figuring thing out, samething for your boyfriend unless he is way older. So sexual preferences may changes. In this context I don't think you lose your time with this guy if you have a connection and like him. If you were planning meeting the guy I would say OK yeah it may be a problem but not yet. Anyway this is my point of view.

Im not secret gay either, if I had a bf I wouldn't care if people knew, but im also not running around screaming I love boys

[jogu656]

Im a full bottom and recently dated a guy who was too, so i took charge and topped and found it to be very exciting and ummm turns out i was really good at which for my first time was surprised and now we do it like crazy and enjoy it, if you like soomeone i think sex is good no matter what as long as the pleasure is there and mutual, although you seem to be turned off to the idea of topping so it might not work.

[SomewhereTexas]

Im also the type of person who people assume have had sex with a lot of women. I mean LOTS of women. But I really just leave before it gets to the point.

[SomewhereTexas]

Im a full bottom and recently dated a guy who was too, so i took charge and topped and found it to be very exciting and ummm turns out i was really good at which for my first time was surprised and now we do it like crazy and enjoy it, if you like soomeone i think sex is good no matter what as long as the pleasure is there and mutual, although you seem to be turned off to the idea of topping so it might not work.

I like the idea of topping, just not all the time. For example after a leg workout no way! But after bicep workout heck yes! Depends

[SomewhereTexas]

One more thing that may help. We are the same height, and he weighs 175lbs.

[East]

I think it will all depend on your chemistry....

I had a few guys over the years insist they were tops and even when they had their legs in the trying to get me to mount them they were still talking about being a top....uh..OK..whatever it is you need to say is fine with me....

So...my advice is to relax...leave the rules at the door... and see where it leads you. Don't do anything you don't want to do...just go with the flow and maybe you will surprise yourself....

Also...don't feel bad if you don't feel a connection and want to leave. ALWAYS listen to your gut and your instincts.

[SomewhereTexas]

Good original question from a newbie for a change! Usually newbies come in asking about how to get in the bed with the straight guy they're crushing on. Thanks for not doing that.

July 2005 I had my first gay experience the night before I left for the marine corps with a friend I'd known since 5th grade. We jerked off ourselves and each other once talked a bit and he wanted me to top him. I did and it was pretty much like doing a girl for me. No big deal.

Fast forward to December 2006 and I met a guy I was really attracted to. I mean REALLY attracted to in a way I never felt attracted to any girl or guy. He told me he was a top and I probably nodded but all I could think about was fucking him. I was ready to rape him and pretty much did except he never said no to anything that night.

Now fast forward to 2014. I'm still with that guy. Mostly he bottoms about 80% of the time because I spoiled him about it. If you're still a virgin you need to learn about that. The rest of the time we do oral or when he's in the mood or I push the issue he tops. He's been with way more guys than I have and I'm going to take his word for it that I'm better than any of them as a top. I accept that. No big deal. I enjoy the crap out of topping or bottoming or giving or receiving oral with him -- because it's him.

Don't try to make yourself fit into a role. If you're a virgin or even a semi-virgin you really can't tell for sure that you're a top or a bottom. It's going to depend on the guy, the chemistry between you, the situation, the mood, and maybe the moon cycle and the way the cookie crumbles who does what to who.

5'10" 180lbs and muscled means most guys are going to automatically look at you as a top. The size & build issue is a big thing most the time in who's going to do what. That's just the way things work out so deal with it and accept it.

My guy is 5'8+" 155 lbs and brick hard muscle from calves to shoulders and people automatically assume he's a top... until they see him with me... 6'6" 185 (skinny now and about to be building back up) Sure, sometimes I have fantasies about being more of a bottom than I am in my relationship but it's not always about that. What my guy likes is a great big part of me being the top most the time.

Don't worry about it too much and just go do your thing and don't try to fit into any roles until you have a reason to with a guy you like a lot.

Wow what a big height difference, and yeah right now im 180lb, and going for 200lbs. But then I would kind of expect the taller guy to be the top guy. I guess I'll take your advice and not worry about it, see how it goes.

[jogu656]

Yes omg topping which i hadnt done is a lot of work, Man oh Man haha so i agree, but i think being the same height and weight has nothing to do with it in my opinion, its all how passionate and free you are i bed, i enjoyed being in control, as a bottom im submissive but as a top i feel all in control but either way i enjoy which ever role i take because i enjoy sex with that person.

[Virge]

Well im 18, he is 22. And generally (psychology class) older men who like younger men are tops, while younger for older tend to be bottoms. I've never been on a date with a guy and not had him insanely attracted to a point of becoming an annoyance (not trying to sound cocky). Not exactly sure what I'm trying to get at, just trying to give enough details. I was going to ask him on a date tonight but now I'm unsure, if you were in my position what would you do?

And btw most people think im 21-22 on first glance, if that helps.

YOU are over-thinking this and... I can tell you applying psychology classes to real life aint gonna do anything but make you miss the 'fun of the unknown" My guy is a PhD in psychology and he'd slap you for trying to take your books to the bedroom. hahahaha! Forget all that crap about ages determining who is top and who is bottom. It's total bullshit. If I were you I'd turn off the intellectual part of your brain and go with the gut feelings, Be impulsive and make the shit up as you go along... no plan and no choreography.

Of course not. We're not machines, man!

I read this and pictured you hiding a black and decker blow up doll in your closet. You protest too loud.

But what usually happens?! If there is such a simple answer

IT IS SIMPLE!!!! Your efforts to make it simple are what's complicating things! hahahahahha! STOP over analyzing all of this! You'll develop analysis paralysis if you keep it up! Switch off the intellect and become a human. Let things happen as they happen, enjoy the moments without having to think everything through.

[SomewhereTexas]

I think it will all depend on your chemistry....

I had a few guys over the years insist they were tops and even when they had their legs in the trying to get me to mount them they were still talking about being a top....uh..OK..whatever it is you need to say is fine with me....

So...my advice is to relax...leave the rules at the door... and see where it leads you. Don't do anything you don't want to do...just go with the flow and maybe you will surprise yourself....

Also...don't feel bad if you don't feel a connection and want to leave. ALWAYS listen to your gut and your instincts.

Okay that's reassuring haha alright then I guess I'll give it a shot. And thanks for the advice, I always leave when I dont feel a connection with guys, which has been every time so far, which is why I made this post, because I don't want to waste my time again.