Met a guy, but he is strictly a bottom.

[SomewhereTexas]

So we hung out a little earlier since I had a work meeting close to where he was. We went to a simple lunch. I walked up to him, he looked fine, but as soon as he opened his mouth it just screamed (excuse my language if this offends anyone) faggg. I mean he didn't have the highest Omg totally voice but he definitely didn't sound like a masculine man, and it definitely didn't surprise me that he was gay. Anyway, we ate lunch, shook hands and went our separate ways while I added him to my spam list. This isn't the first time a bottom guy tells me how masculine he is and ending up being a total flop. So I am officially done talking to complete bottom guys for good, another waste of time. But thanks again everyone.

[SomewhereTexas]

So we met up today since I was close to where he lived due to a work meeting. Anyway we went to a simple lunch. I walked up to him, and at first glance he seemed ok. But as soon as he greeted me I knew he was not masculine. Don't get me wrong he wasn't doing hair flips and whatnot, but he was definitely not even close to what I would consider masculine. I may be wrong, but based on my personal experiences with now quite a few gay men, it seems to me that a guy who doesn't wear skinny jeans or rainbows considers himself masculine. Which is not the case at all with me at least. I don't think I'll talk to a strictly bottom guy again. But anyway thanks everyone.

[SomewhereTexas]

I'm just really mad at myself for believing another "yeah I'm masculine everyone thinks I'm straight" story

[LJay]

Why do so much thinking in advance? If he seems nice enough to you, try meeting him and hanging out some. Maybe the chemistry will be right and maybe not. Maybe you will want sex and maybe you will make a platonic friend. Sounds like it is worth the effort either way.

[Pcolakuntryboy]

This reminds me of a blind date I had a long time ago. This guy was wearing a cowboy hat in his profile pic and he looked masculine and hot, but when we met he was very feminine. I didn't want to be rude and walk away, so I stuck through the date. As soon as I got back home I had an email from him telling how great of a time he had and how he couldn't wait to see me again. I had to email him back and tell him that it just wouldn't work between us, I felt like such a dick. LOL

[xfrostx]

I don't really have a lot to say because some people before me really said it very well. First of all this isn't your wedding, you're just going to give someone you like a shot. And of course via internet it's difficult to see if this person really matches you. Second of all, since you're a virgin it's really hard to say what you'd end up liking more and it REALLY depends on the person!

And I'm sorry but you're being a little judgmental here. An older guy can't bottom for a younger guy? The taller guy is always the top? Sure, because women never date younger guys and taller women date only taller guys. Come on! Because of people like you who're trying to impose such views on what a top looks like or what a bottom looks like some people are afraid of being honest with others and even themselves about what they want to be (I'm suffering that too). As weird as it's going to sound to you there are flamboyant guys who are tops and there are super masculine guys who are bottoms.

[SomewhereTexas]

Why do so much thinking in advance? If he seems nice enough to you, try meeting him and hanging out some. Maybe the chemistry will be right and maybe not. Maybe you will want sex and maybe you will make a platonic friend. Sounds like it is worth the effort either way.

We did meet, he was too flamboyant, definitely not masculine enough.

This reminds me of a blind date I had a long time ago. This guy was wearing a cowboy hat in his profile pic and he looked masculine and hot, but when we met he was very feminine. I didn't want to be rude and walk away, so I stuck through the date. As soon as I got back home I had an email from him telling how great of a time he had and how he couldn't wait to see me again. I had to email him back and tell him that it just wouldn't work between us, I felt like such a dick. LOL

Yep I got home, sent the text, and put his number in my spam, but I guess its better then never texting back and leaving them wondering for a while.

I don't really have a lot to say because some people before me really said it very well. First of all this isn't your wedding, you're just going to give someone you like a shot. And of course via internet it's difficult to see if this person really matches you. Second of all, since you're a virgin it's really hard to say what you'd end up liking more and it REALLY depends on the person!

And I'm sorry but you're being a little judgmental here. An older guy can't bottom for a younger guy? The taller guy is always the top? Sure, because women never date younger guys and taller women date only taller guys. Come on! Because of people like you who're trying to impose such views on what a top looks like or what a bottom looks like some people are afraid of being honest with others and even themselves about what they want to be (I'm suffering that too). As weird as it's going to sound to you there are flamboyant guys who are tops and there are super masculine guys who are bottoms.

No no I was just stating general set-ups, not concluding everyone.


And I guess after all this, being like my tenth time being fooled. How many super masculine gay guys do you all know? Im talking complete American society stereotypical masculine guys? I mean I know no one fits all the stereotypes of a true masculine man, I dont know it kind of makes me feel like the oddball everytime I talk to guys. Anyway I guess I'm just rambling now

[MountLogan]

I guess the universe work in your favour. You seems disappointed he was strictly a bottom. No we can say that problem is fix lol lol
But suck for you he wasn't the guy you were expecting. Hope the next one will meet your expectations.

Masculinity is a tricky question. For me, many obvious gay men are 100% masculine. But for some other I guess they aren't.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Well im 18, he is 22. And generally (psychology class) older men who like younger men are tops, while younger for older tend to be bottoms. I've never been on a date with a guy and not had him insanely attracted to a point of becoming an annoyance (not trying to sound cocky). Not exactly sure what I'm trying to get at, just trying to give enough details. I was going to ask him on a date tonight but now I'm unsure, if you were in my position what would you do?

And btw most people think im 21-22 on first glance, if that helps.

I'd ask him out and see where it goes. Just make sure you're honest with yourself about how he makes you feel and if you like it or not. (sounds like from the post above that you did just that.)

I feel like you're determining "top/bottom" more than just in the straight fucking sense, but also in the whole dominant/submissive sense to a bit too. If you are, then you may find that the person you are with will cause your level of "dominance" to fluctuate.

[Rareboy]

I'm just really mad at myself for believing another "yeah I'm masculine everyone thinks I'm straight" story

I'm getting a bit of a vibe here that is similar to a sad tale told by another person on a different site......he had a problem with every gay guy not being masculine enough...except himself....

I'm going to suggest that maybe you start hitting the kind of bar that hyper masculine guys go to. It would save you a lot of time in sorting through all the fish that you apparently need to fling back in the sea.